“No. No, no, no, no, no.” This cannot be happening. I’m a normal girl. Normal.
“No, I can’t be. I’m a normal high school girl. This is my life. There is absolutely no way that I’m the one you’re looking for.” I’m shaking, why me? Jason looks sorry, but says,
“You aren’t normal. You don’t belong here. Can’t you feel it? You don’t belong in that dingy basement. You don’t belong in that awful school. You don’t belong working at that department store.” Why is he insisting that it’s me?
“If it really is me, why? What makes me different from everyone else?” I need to know this. I need to know if I could have prevented this. Jason starts talking, sounding a bit mollified.
“It’s not your fault, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“Where? When?” I ask. My voice breaks on the last word.
“When you were born,” He begins, “The hospital picked up an irregularity in your brain. An irregularity that had only been seen twice before. Unfortunately, the government had also picked up on this, and they sent agents to bring you in.” Hold on, what? The government?
“You have got to be kidding me. The government? Yeah right.” I shake my head in disbelief. “There’s no way the government took me as a child. I remember my past.”
“I’m not lying,” Jason says, “They didn’t keep you for very long, just long enough to activate the dormant part of your brain.”
“Ok.” I still can’t believe this. “So. The army-”
“Military research unit” Jason interrupts. I roll my eyes, exasperated,
“The Military took me as a baby, did something to my brain, and then let me go. Why would they do that? Why not just keep me there?” He looks annoyed again.
“I don’t know. It’s not like I was there. I only know what they told me. Maybe they wanted to see what would happen if you were raised like a normal person.”
“Okay, say I believe you. What does that mean for me?” I’m humoring him now. Maybe if I pretend to believe him he’ll let me go. He looks relieved, letting out a small breath.
“I need your help to find them, I won’t have any more information than that, not until we find them.”
“Ok, then what? Why are we so important?” I want to roll my eyes, but I’m pretending to believe him.
“I told you, I don’t know. They won’t tell me that.”
“Then what do you know?” I want to yell at him, but I keep my voice moderate. He huffs out a breath,
“You can’t tell anyone. You. . .” He pauses, takes a breath, “You - and the other three - have powers.” Jason winces back, closing his eyes tight, as if bracing himself.
“Powers? Yeah right. I’m done with this. I’m leaving.” I’ve finally regained full control of my limbs. I pull open the door and crawl out, almost tumbling onto the pavement.
I slam the door behind me, and start walking away. Jason has to be kidding me. The military? Powers? Honestly, does he think I’m stupid? I hear the car door open behind me, and jason yells,
“You have to believe me!”
“Why should I? So far all you’ve said sound like some stupid consiracy theory. I’m going home, leave me alone.”
“You can’t! It’s not safe!” His voice breaks on the last word.
“I’ll take my chances, now leave me alone.” I roll my eyes and stalk off. I can’t beleive he thought I was dumb enough to beleive him. Only a crazy person would. The military? There’s something different about my brain? Total crap.
The walk home is dark. Oh crap, how did it get so late? We can’t have been talking that long. It’s cold, so I wrap my sweater tighter around myself. I wish it wasn’t so thin, I should probably get a new one.
When I get home I open my cupboard, looking for something to eat. Nothing good. Tomato soup or Cream of Mushroom? Definitely Tomato. I crank open the can and pour the soup in a bowl, setting it in the microwave to heat. Watching it revolve around inside I glance at the clock, expecting it to be around 8 p.m, but the clock says 4:30.
“Why was it so dark outside i-” I start, but the beeping of the microwave startles me out of my thoughts.
“Nevermind, maybe a storm is coming. I hope the power doesn’t go out.”
I take my bowl from the microwave and grab a spoon. When I sit on my bed, it sinks down, the old springs groaning in protest. I reach over to my bedside table and click the button on my radio, the music coming out reminds me of my childhood - which was rarely happy - so I spin the dial to a new station.
The voice coming out of the speaker is rough, shadowed with hate or pain.
“You can’t run forever. You can’t hide from us. We are everywhere.” The voice coughs -- no, hacks -- for a minute, before continuing, “And make no mistake, we will find you. And when we do, the pain you will feel will be unimaginable.” There’s static for a minute, then a radio announcer starts speaking,
“That was ‘Love Story’ by Taylor Swift,, next up-” I turn the radio off with a gasp, what was that? Why didn’t anyone else hear it? I sit up and hop off my bed, deciding to go to the library and post online about what I heard. Although I doubt my 3 followers would care, they’d probably think I was pranking them. But my plans are canceled when the power goes out with a loud zap. I stumble to the cupboard above my sink, looking for a flashlight - candles, something - but I find nothing. Stupid low budget.
I push my feet into my low flats, and pull open the door. I step out into the small hallway and turn left, intending to go up to the landlord's apartment and ask for a candle. I’ve barely taken two steps when I notice that the stairwell is completely dark, which is weird because my clock said 4:45 p.m. when I stepped out. A chill almost identical to the one in the school runs down my back, but I can’t find a reason for it.
Shaking it off, I take another step forward. A little darkness never hurt anyone - thankfully the stairs are new. Then the shadows start moving.
A big shadow steps out, followed by a couple slightly smaller ones. These shadows are different from the ones in the school. These have a shape.
They’re tall, with their back legs folded underneath them. Their back is sloped, and barely wider than both my hands put together. They have long, tall ears that stick out from the side of their heads, and their eyes are huge, black pools of shadow. They have a long snout that ends in a large mouth. They're grinning, a large smile that splits their whole head in half, showing their long black teeth. A black ooze drips off the longest canines. It’s terrifying.
Scarier still, are their front legs. Their legs are long, black and twisting, ending in curved claws longer than my hand. More black ooze is dripping from their claws, and I know it can’t be anything good.
I take a step back, but they step with me. One of their steps is three times the length of mine. I walk backwards until I crash into the wall. I sink down so I’m sitting on the floor. The big one takes another step forward, and I shut my eyes. It would be so easy for me to give up right now. To let them eat me - or whatever they do - and to just disappear. It would be so quick, so simple. But my mothers face crashes into my mind. It’s not her face now, not covered in make-up, not grinning a fake smile, but her face when I was young.
My memory is a rare one. In it, my parents aren’t fighting, they’re not screaming curses at eachother or me. My mother is singing to me, a soft lullaby that I’ve heard many times before, but I’m not paying attention to the song. Instead, I’m watching my mother. We’re standing in the garden, and the sun is glancing off her hair. I know most kids think this, but in that moment my mother truly is, the most beautiful person in the world. I remember being happy. Which was a nice change from the fear and anxiety I’d felt. Even as a little kid. I was only five in that memory, but I was old enough to understand what was going on.
The memory ends, and I’m back in the hallway. I stand up, bracing myself against the wall. I’m terrified. I want help.
“Help.” I whisper. As soon as I say this all my feelings come crashing down. Everything negative I’ve ever thought or said.
Why can’t I just be normal?
Why do I feel like this?
I’m an awful person.
I don’t deserve to live.
They hate me, I hate me.
They’re just being polite, they don’t actually mean it.
What’s wrong with me?
Then the denial.
Nothing’s wrong with me.
I’m just overreacting.
I’ll be fine.
Lots of people have it worse than me.
I’m struggling to breathe under the weight of everything I truly think. I want to break down and cry, but the threat is still here. I think again how easy it would be to just let them have me. Then these thoughts would stop.
I shake it off. No. I can’t give up. What would Mother think? She never gave up. What would she tell me if she was here? Probably something like:
“I never gave up. I wanted to be a model, so I worked hard and look where I am now. Besides, I didn’t raise a quitter. You can do this! I believe in you. Oh! I have to go, Darling. My photo shoot is soon, how do I look?”
Wow. Ok. Thanks mom.
I look back at the shadows. What did Jason call them? Katára? They haven’t moved since I fell. They’re just sitting there, waiting for me to move. I’m shaking, but I step forward, trying to make them think I’m not scared. Then I make the mistake of looking into the biggest Katára’s eyes.
A frigid wind storms through my body, so cold I feel it in my bones. A mental image accompanies the frost. My mother and father, standing together in the rain. My father is crying, and my mother is holding him. She’s trying not to cry, to not show weakness. I can’t see anything around them. Then my vision widens.
They’re standing in a cemetery, in front of a coffin. There’s a large crowd around them, most of which are crying. I can see Macith - my best friend - in the crowd. She’s leaning against her mother, while sobs are wracking through her body. She’s shuddering, and as I watch, her legs give out, and her mom has to hold her up.
I can see people from my school - most of which are silently wiping at small tears - and I can even see my landlord. Jason is there, along with two blurry faces. The only part that surprises me is I’m not there, and I still can’t see inside the coffin. I try to walk around the edge of the crowd and peer into it, but something is holding my legs.
I look down and see a skeletal black claw, wrapped around my left leg. As I watch, one of the strange Katára pulls themselves out of the ground, using my leg as a handhold. Once it’s fully out of the ground it turns to look at me.
I back away slowly - though I know it’s just a dream - but the Katára ignores me. Instead, it turns toward the crowd of people. I run towards them, screaming.
“Run! You need to run!” No one seems to hear me, and the Katára is still moving closer. I get in front of a nameless face standing in the crowd, and point to the shadow monster
“It’s coming! You have to run! Please.” I’m starting to sob, why aren’t they listening? I turn and start to run to the other side of the crowd, but I can finally see who is in the coffin.
It's me.
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