Chapter 16 

-Emmanuel-

Dragging my eyes open, I smile shakily at Percy. I don’t know everything that my mother said to him, but I heard enough to know that she was spewing absolute shit. And I know how upset Percy was feeling.

I had been about to start my work, having woken up and not being able to get back to sleep. And then I felt Percy’s discomfort, strong and overpowering, followed by waves of sadness. And by the time I got to him, he was crying. Because of what my mother said to him.

I hate her. I hate her so much.

Percy guides me into a hug, letting me hide my face in his neck whilst I hug him back strongly. He can probably feel the guilt and shame and worry and anger warring in my soul right now…I’m feeling so much, so many different things…Percy can probably feel at least a little of them.

And he’s still upset too. So we just hold each other, and whether he cries again, I’m not sure. I have to try hard not to cry and in the end it’s just Percy’s presence which keeps my tears at bay. 

“Emmi…” Percy starts, his voice still a little shaky. “Mm?” I encourage him to continue, rubbing his back slowly, trying not to hug him too tightly in case he wants to move away. He doesn’t move.

“I’m not…she was just- she was just being rude, right?” 

I frown slightly; I didn’t hear everything my mother said, so I’m not entirely sure what Percy is referring too, but honestly everything I heard her say was bullshit. Giving him a small squeeze, I nod. “She wanted to upset you into leaving, because she’s just like that. I’m really sorry you had to experience that,” I say gently, pulling back slightly and resting my forehead against Percy’s. He seems to like doing this, so I hope it’s ok, but I honestly don’t know. I need to just ask him what he’s comfortable with.

He laughs grittily, shaking his head. “I’m terribly sorry but I hate your mother.”

I’ll admit, I can’t hold back the snort. “Well it looks like we found something we have in common.” I still feel like I should address what I heard my mother say though; tell Percy that it isn’t true. And I need him to see my eyes when I tell him this, I need him to know that I’m telling the truth. I need him to know how earnest I am when I say these things.

So I wait until he holds my gaze; us now sitting directly opposite each other with a bit of space between us.

“Percy. You are extremely special to me. And I don’t want anything from you, I just…I want to be with you. That’s it. You’ll never disappoint me or become unspecial or something like that. I’m sticking with you, for as long as you want me by your side.”

My mate stares at me for a moment before a cautious smile dusts onto his lips. “So I’m not…I’m not just another fling?”

I instantly frown. “Is that something she said?”

When Percy nods, I close my eyes whilst I try to stay focused on not getting angry. I’m not sure it entirely works. 

When I’ve calmed down slightly, I reopen my eyes, searching for Percy’s gaze. When his meets mine, I cautiously reach out, touching the very tip of my finger to the side of his hand. He smiles softly, taking my hand in his and squeezing slightly.

“Percy. You will never, ever be just a fling to me. You’re so much more than that; so much more important to me.”

His smile turning sad, Percy shakes his head. “But only because I’m your mate. Only because the gods put us together.”

I frown slightly, adamantly shaking my head. “Not at all. I admit that when we mated, my soul accepted you so readily because you were my fated one and because of how calming your presence is to me. But now…you make me happy, Percy. You’re important to me because you’re you, not because you’re my mate. You make me feel able to be myself, you make it easier to be the real me. And I’m serious about you, about making us work. I’m serious about making you happy and treating you right. I’m serious about creating a home for you, with me.” My voice softens from the resolute determination that I started with into a much gentler, warmer tone that I barely recognise as being my own.

I’m not used to feeling like this. I’m not used to any of this, but I definitely don’t hate it. 

Percy’s sad smile shifts again, landing on the sweetest sight I’ve ever seen - pure, unadulterated joy. God, I love this sight. So fucking much.

“Wow. Well. That’s…I’m really glad. That’s just so- I’m really happy,” he says awkwardly, tugging on his braids before his gaze meets mine and his eyes call to me. He leans forwards and I can’t stop myself from doing the same - not that I’d want to anyway - as he reaches out to cup my cheek, smoothing his thumb across my cheekbone.

A smile brushes onto my lips as I lean in to his touch, letting my eyes close for a moment as I enjoy the feeling of Percy’s closeness. And then Percy kisses me slowly, his other hand snaking into my hair and holding my head gently. 

We stay like that for a while, kissing softly, the perfect silence surrounding us. It is so relaxing, and I didn’t realise how much I needed to relax until I can practically feel the anger and sadness and shame from earlier steadily flowing from me as I enter a more peaceful state of mind.

When we eventually break apart, Percy shuffles around to sit next to me; not close enough to touch but close enough that there’s only a small amount of space between us, which I imagine is deliberate. Most of what Percy does is deliberate.

“So, I feel like now would be a good time to bring up…your past relationships,” he says slowly, careful not to upset me. I chew my lips, nodding. “Yeah. I’ll um. I’ll answer any questions you have, but first…I have a question?”

Percy nods, turning his head to look at me. “What is it?” 

It’s a stupid question. What I want to ask him is so silly, but something I’m honestly just curious about. “So, uh. I was just wondering…well you didn’t do what I did, so I was just- have you seriously not had sex in four years?” 

Percy bursts out laughing and smacks my leg playfully. “Gosh I can’t believe that’s the question you most wanted answering; out of everything that’s happened, that’s what you’re curious about.”

I huff frustratedly; it is pretty stupid to be honest, like I don’t know what happened to Percy in those four years but for some reason, that one thing was niggling at the back of my mind. He rests his hand on my thigh, waiting for my attention to return to him. When it does, he smiles gently. “I haven’t done anything like that since we mated. Would it bother you if I had?”

And fucking hell am I a hypocrite, but I’m trying to be honest. So I tell him the truth. “It would, yeah.”