After taking all my medications, Creed and I had gone to sleep. Creed had no doubt been up for hours before he had woke me up. Looking up at Creed I had enjoyed the view of him in the early morning light. He looked good in the low sunlight basking over him. Creed leaned down and kissed my lips softly. It caught me off guard and I allowed the feeling. It was odd, I wanted him to kiss me more. I knew that's what I wanted, but I couldn't just tell him that. I was aware the feelings I had for him were only growing. He had to feel at least somewhat the same way with the look he was giving me at the current moment. I slipped my hand through his hair, It was so damn short, I would have preferred if he left it a little longer for me to play with.  Oh well. 

"Alexi, We should get up soon, it's about seven am."

"We can stay here just a little longer."

"Alright."

I sighed. I could have honestly just stayed here and slept against Creed for the next year if I was allowed. I inched closer to his warmth until I just crawled on top of him. I was briefly aware of the fact he only was clad in boxers nothing more. The thing was, I had only gone to sleep in a t-shirt, of his, though that wasn't important and boxers. I was very aware of his cock when I laid on him. My own was stirring but that wasn't because of needing anything other than the touch of the man under me. My thoughts were somewhere I could honestly say I hadn't thought about ever before. I was craving for this man to put his hands on me, both lightly and hard enough to bruise my skin as a way of proof.  I was one hundred percent scared of becoming attached to the man under me. 

"Alexi?"

"Shush."

"You're hard," he said almost breathlessly.

"I am now," I said sharply.

His breathless voice had gone right down my spine and straight to my cock in just a few seconds. I felt tangled in the fight to give in to whatever this was, or just shove it away as I had before. I didn't feel in control of anything that I wanted anymore. Maybe this was the time to just say fuck it and give in, I wanted the joy that everyone else seemed to have, but if history were to repeat itself, would it be Creed or I that was covered in dirt six feet under. 

I didn't fear death, I never had. But I had only fear now. Losing this man. I wouldn't be ok. I couldn't even begin to tell him that. I never wanted anyone to know this man was my weakness. The thought of even losing him made my throat squeeze and my chest ache something fierce. I dropped my head against his chest and just stayed there. I couldn't communicate the feeling that was ripping me apart right this second. I had stared down men with guns, knives, taken bullets and knife wounds, had so much done to me. But here I was fearing a loss that hadn't happened. But it almost had. And that was before I had even begun to allow this feeling to set up shop in my heart and mind. 

Creed's hand was in my hair as he used It to lift my head. The sting wasn't unpleasant, He looked at me with chanced eyes. These eyes of his held his truth. The lust, the love and his own fears. This seemed to erase the fear in my chest. This man, Creed, wouldn't allow history to repeat, and if it did it would be together or nothing. No matter how toxic that sounded to anyone outside.

I sat upon his hips, painfully aware of both of our problems. I slid up hissing briefly and leaned down to kiss those lips I admired so deeply. The sound of glass shattering pulled us both out of this need for each other. Creed and I fast as lightening dressed gun on our hips to address the noise. 

Alessio was standing in the kitchen his mother angrily looking at him. The wall had a bowl-shaped hole where he had clearly thrown it. 

"You have no right to throw things in my house!."

"It's only your house because you stole my birthright! You're scared I can't look after me but that's only your fault mother, you stopped him, you stopped my grandfather from teaching me about my birthright! mine!."

"This life doesn't have to be yours, I wanted better for you!"

"You didn't ask what I wanted, If I didn't want my birthright I would have said something. Fuck!"

"Your not the boy I raised, he was sweeter than this, He wanted better for himself. My Alessio."

"I'm tired now mom. I'm tired of playing the boy you wanted. I can't play innocent any longer. I'll go to my father's but not because I'm running from your husband. But because I'm having my father train me to handle this problem. This family is mine. I will come back for it."

Siena looked at Creed and me. Alessio slipped from the room, he clearly needed to be elsewhere. He wanted something way different than she did for him and it was pulling them in so many different ways. 

"We try to do what's right for our children, but sometimes they need to chose what is best for them," Creed said softly. 

"I only wanted better for Alessio, but it seems the Mafia life is bred into that boy."

I didn't address the look that Siena gave me, almost as if she was blaming me for this. But I couldn't take the blame, only my uncle could. He was the boy's father. I was only his older cousin. 

"I blame his father for this," Siena said sharply

"He might be ok with taking that blame," I said matter of fact.

"The man I knew didn't take the blame for anything unless it was when he got something out of it for himself."

"He did though. He got an heir."

"He must be so proud for himself. A son so happy to do crimes for him. A real fucking heir." Siena said sharply leaving the room. 

Alessio came back shortly later. He looked at Creed and me softly before he sighed.

"Tell me things will be different with my father?"

"I mean he's Mafia first, so, probably. But I can't promise he won't yell at you." I said shrugging.

"Least I won't be dead." He said annoyed.