Chapter 9

-Percy-

When I next see Emmanuel, almost the entire day has passed. I didn’t go to find him in his room and I don’t know where his office is, and I wasn’t in my room in case he went to find me instead. I’m not avoiding him, I just wasn’t in the mood to talk to him.

Which is really stupid, I know. I know that he’s trying to be honest and open with me, and I am too, but…I don’t want to have to talk about the nightmares. And besides, I have things I need to do. 

Like help out the refugees. 

I’m strong, so I can help with moving things around to accommodate them better in the main hall. Not everyone will stay for long; some will probably join the pack but most will move on after a warm meal and a place to sleep for a few days.

From the sounds of things, this pack won’t be taking in any more refugees for quite some time; there were a lot of wolves this time and this pack is already pretty big, so that’s a lot of wolves to care and provide for.

“Percy?”

Turning around, I give Keye a half smile. She hurries up to me, looking rather worried. “Did something happen to Emmi last night? He’s been acting off all of today and normally if he gets angry or something he then gets really ashamed but he always tells me, so I was just…I’m worried.”

I chew on my lip; if Emmanuel didn’t tell Keye then he probably didn’t want to say anything, so…“it’s not my place to say, I’m sorry.”

Keye nods before sighing. “I get that…do you mind checking on him though?”

I stare at her blankly. “Why should I? If he’s upset then I don’t want to say something and make him more upset.”

Keye punches my arm before snorting. “Oh come on dude, you’re his mate. And he’s not angry or anything, he’s just acting weirdly. And he was happy after talking to you yesterday evening - he came to see me and told me about finding you a room and things -  so: I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll take over here, ok?” She doesn’t wait for an answer, and instead just instantly lifts the heavy crate I was carrying - Keye is a lot stronger than she looks.

Closing my eyes, I focus on the bond. I can’t really pin point Emmanuel’s exact location because any closeness we had last night is gone and I’m back to just knowing that he is in my vague vicinity. 

Bonds don’t usually work backwards if you neglect them, but it can happen sometimes. And with Emmi and I…we both keep doing things wrong and withholding how we’re feeling about things. And a lot of that is my fault; I haven’t properly told him how I feel about a lot of different things and then I deliberately avoided him today.

Sighing, I go to my mate’s room and sure enough, the door is locked, so I can’t get in. He isn’t in there I don’t think, but I’ll probably just get lost if I try and find him. So instead, I just sit outside and wait for him to come to his room.

I should’ve just asked Keye where he was. 

—————

-Emmanuel-

Leaning forwards on my desk, I look at the swamp of work I have to do. This really sucks. I’m not even good at it and I don’t even want this role. Come on Emmi, let’s not be so negative, I try and tell myself but let’s be real, it doesn’t work very well.

Calling my day’s work here, I head back to my room before changing my mind halfway there, and going to Percy’s room instead. I haven’t seen him all day and things feel weird between us again after last night, plus I’m worried about him after the nightmare. 

But once again, he’s either not in his room or he just isn’t answering me when I knock and call his name. Trying not to feel too disappointed, I go to my room, frankly just needing a nap. I should be feeling happy with myself; I haven’t felt angry all day and I haven’t shouted at anyone - I don’t remember the last time I made it through an entire day without losing my temper, but today…I’ve just felt exhausted. 

It’s like I don’t even have the energy to be angry.

God, I’m just so tired of it all.

The first thing I notice when I reach my room, is that I’m not the only one here. But it’s too dark to clearly see whoever it is, so I just clear my throat and try to suppress another sigh. 

“Emmi?” A quiet voice sounds from right in front of my door and I realise with a start that Percy is here. “Percy? Why are you sitting outside my door?” I ask, reaching out and touching his shoulder as he stands up. 

“I wanted to come talk to you, but your door was locked and I don’t know the way to your office.”

I hate that it makes me happy that he was looking for me. 

“Oh…I’ll show you some time. Here, let’s get inside.” I squeeze past him and unlock the door, inviting him inside. I know he said he wanted to talk, but…I’m so tired. I’m not sure I can face a serious chat right now.

But Percy came to see me. I have to make the most of this, I have to listen to whatever it is he wants to say.

“So…Keye said you seemed off today, so I was wondering if something was wrong? And- I’m sorry for avoiding you today. I was worried you’d ask about last night,” Percy says quietly, perched on the edge of my bed with his hands in his lap, staring at them.

I blink a few times, mainly in an effort to keep my eyes open. “Oh, I’m just…really tired. It’s nothing to worry about though, I’ll be back to normal after a goodnight’s sleep. Last night I was worried about you and uh- it doesn’t matter. I’ll sleep better tonight and be back at 100% tomorrow, and I won’t ask about last night if it makes you uncomfortable,” I assure him. I mean, it’s just that I didn’t sleep well last night that I’m this tired, right?

I’ll be fine tomorrow, right?

Percy glances over at me, patting the bed next to him. “Why don’t you come sit next to me, and we can talk. There’s several things I think we should address sooner rather than later.”

I nod quickly before regretting it; my head feels like I’m swimming through tarmac. But it’s fine, I’m sure I’ll be alright in the morning.

Except then I take a step towards Percy from where I was standing by the door, and then I’m consumed by darkness.