Yuri

…

It’s fine.

I’m fine.

I am fine.

I put all my energy into ignoring Sora entirely.

“You’re not hurt anywhere, are you?”

With that smile, Sarang nodded at me. She then meekly added, “It’d be nice if I could stand up though!” Noticing their awkward position, Sora immediately scrambled to get off her.

We helped her move the volleyballs back into the basket, watching her in sync as she rolled the cart to the center of the gym.

“So, she’s the new girl, huh?” I looked around for whoever Sora could be trying to talk to, but I was the only one near him. His eyes tracked her as she pushed the volleyball cart. “I didn’t expect her to be someone like… that.”

I didn’t like the way he worded that. I responded with, “Someone like what?”

For the first time, Elon Musn’t didn’t look at me with malice or spite in his eyes. No, he was looking through me.

His focus was on the brunette happily bouncing and throwing volleyballs to our classmates.

With an uncharacteristic smile, he said “Despite making a mistake like that, she kept her head up. Even I would’ve been a little embarrassed. Hell, even if she felt that way, it doesn’t show on her face at all. It’s admirable in a way.”

I couldn’t argue with him this time.

After all, I thought the same thing.

“You’re right.” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. “Though, it’s kinda weird that we’re bonding like this because of a girl.”

That seemed to wake him up from whatever dream he was having. He smacked my hand from his shoulders and readjusted himself. He looked at me, ready to say something, but the cat had caught his tongue too. We silently decided to not push the topic and go our separate ways.

I tried focusing on class, but the scene I’d seen earlier was stuck in my head. The personification of arrogance himself praised someone, and he did it without his usual mask. I don’t like meddling in someone else’s business, especially if it’s his. He can like whoever he wants.

Yet another part of me couldn’t explain why that thought made me feel sick inside.

The storage room incident stayed in my head all day, and it distracted me so much that I almost couldn’t hear Sarang calling my name.

“Yuri!” I snapped back to reality and looked at her. “Finally! You’ve been zoning out like this since gym class. I wanted to grab your PINE info so I could send you some comics I like.”

I weakly nodded and gave her my phone. I watched as she typed her ID in the app. She gave my phone back with a smile.

She said, “I’ve got cleanup duty for the first time today, so I’ll see you tomorrow!” I waved her goodbye and started to get up.

Before I could get a foot out the door, I heard someone say “Are you sure? The schedule says I’m on duty today.”

I turned around to see Sora talking to our class rep. The poor guy was tricked into doing the job. For some reason, Sora was talking to him.

“You’ve been doing a great job, class rep.” Sora gave him a nod of approval that looked forced to me. “Since you do so much to keep our class together, I thought I’d do you a favor by making your job easier.” His gaze shifted from the class rep to Sarang, who had just started wiping the desks. He then looked at the door, locking eyes with me.

For some reason, I smiled back at him before leaving the classroom. His flabbergasted expression made the gesture worth it.

I wasn’t going to let this bother me. I didn’t need to worry about him, and I wasn’t about to make any hasty moves myself. Sometimes it’s hard to tell infatuation from something else, but we’ve both only just met her.

Kim Sora was many things, but a playboy was not one of them. From what I knew, he hadn’t dated anyone.

Well, besides Pinkie. If that says anything about his taste, then Sarang is the furthest thing from it.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear.

Pinkie Nari

“What are you doing?” Yuri had caught me.

I feigned innocence.

“Nothing. I was planning on grabbing something from my desk that I’d left here earlier.” Sora had been acting different today, and I had a guess as to why. The spectacle from gym class was burned into my mind, and I needed to know if anything had happened between him and that girl.

Yuri could see through my hasty excuse but pretended like he didn’t notice. “Sure you are. I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for in there.” He knew when and when not to interfere.

It’s something I respect about him.

I reentered the classroom and casually approached my desk, trying not to seem as if I was eavesdropping. My desk was near the door, so I silently made my way towards it and pretended to check the inside for something.

With a sweetness I hadn’t heard in years, my love said, “It must’ve been tough moving cities like that.”

“You’re right.” That girl responded while sweeping. “It was at first, but luckily I had Clover to keep me smiling.” Now I knew why he’d stayed to clean despite having cleaning duty yesterday.

“I’m jealous,” my former lover said. Why would you be jealous of her? “I’ve never had a friendship like that. Most people approach me because they either want what I have, or what I can do for them. I’ve never had someone support me purely out of goodwill before.” He paused to look at me before continuing.

“I may not look it, but I’ve only dated one person before. It started out of obligation for our parents, but it became something nice for a while.”

“That’s so cute!” The homewrecker gushed at his words for some reason. “If it’s not rude of me to ask, what happened between you two?”

Sora’s face was solemn as he continued looking at me. “She stopped seeing me for who I was and started loving a version of myself that only lived in her mind. My relationship with her was supposed to be an escape from all the stress of my normal life, but she turned it into an extension of that.”

My ex-boyfriend took a deep breath and said, “I hate this fake image I’m supposed to maintain, and I suddenly had to maintain it in front of her as well. I broke up with her for selfish reasons.” He looked back at…her. “Was I wrong for doing that?”

“N-no!” The girl—I believe her name was Sarang—put her hands up in a defensive position, dropping her broom in the process. “Sorry! I just didn’t expect you to ask me a question like that.”

Sora caught the broom before it touched the floor. “No, it’s my fault.’’ I hated that he felt the need to apologize to her. “It’s a topic I don’t usually talk about.”

Sarang nodded. “It’s understandable though. Exes aren’t exactly a fun topic.” Moving chairs to sweep under desks, she added, “I’m pretty bad when it comes to love, so my thoughts on this probably won’t be too good, but I think that if you felt restrained in the relationship, then it was a good idea to separate from her.”

Sora stood there without saying anything in response. The girl continued. “I’ve never been in a relationship before, but I’ve had crushes all throughout my life. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had my heart broken either. I’m bad at reading signals, and I’ve made so many mistakes that I could easily get a free job working as a clown at a circus.”

She forced a laugh, putting the broom down. “The point is, relationships won’t work if both people aren’t on the same page. I’ve known my best friend since we were little kids. I love her more than anyone, and I doubt that I’ll ever find someone I love more than her. Even then, I trust her.” She looked up at the ceiling. “To me, love without trust isn’t love at all. If the love you felt caused you to feel paranoid at every step, then maybe what you did was for the best.”

Sora’s face softened at her words, and my chest tightened.

I didn’t want to hear any of this.

I started to get up, but my feet wouldn’t listen to me. Sora started speaking again.

“You’re right.” No, she isn’t!

“I thought I could force myself to love her.” What we had was real!

“I left her before that love could turn into hate.”

My feet regained feeling and I took that chance to leave the classroom. I turned around once and made eye contact with her.

Sarang. She looked at me with that idiotic smile of hers. Without knowing anything, she made me feel guilty for loving Sora.

I never wanted to do that to him. I was just… loving him the only way I knew how to.

It’s not like I’m the best at loving someone else.

Isn’t that right, Father?

You raised me to be your successor, yet the bulk of your love and affection went to my younger brother. Not a single one of his worries were ignored, yet you gave my personal struggles a deaf ear until I realized the truth about you.

There’s no point in trying to speak to someone who won’t bother to listen.

People love spreading the false narrative that parents can’t have favorites, but the answer is obvious when you’ve always lived as second-best.

Sora, I wasn’t just your escape.

You were my greatest escape from reality too.

You were the first man to make me feel like I was needed for something other than a lifeline for a business.

I thought you understood me because you were told that your purpose was similar. Our artificial love became reality, and my heart started feeling warm again.

Even so, you say that I became nothing more than a nuisance to you in the end.

That’s why you left me.

You left me because you did not want to hate me.

You left me because you still loved me.

I don’t know what spell this witch cast on you, but I’ve waited years to hear these words from you. Years of patience thrown away by some girl who came from who-knows-where.

Now that I know the truth, I know what I must do.

You just need to fall in love with me all over again.

I’ll prove to both you and myself that the love I have for you is genuine.

That was our only problem, right?

You’ll go back to loving me, and I’ll go back to resting happily in your arms.

Now I need to find out what to do about the girl on your mind.

Yuri

Now I need to find out what to do about the girl on my mind.

It’s late, and I just finished texting that very girl. She loves sending funny stickers in her texts, and I can practically hear her giggling from across the street.

Leaving Sora’s weird behavior aside, there really was something special about this girl.

It’s almost like…

I fell asleep mid-thought.

I was dreaming again, but this time, I was back in middle school. The dream was like an out-of-body experience, and I could see first-year me walking through the hallway, carrying some papers to another teacher’s classroom.

Little me turned the corner and ran into someone, dropping my papers everywhere. She was a brunette with straight hair that stopped at the small of her back. She’d been carrying yellow flowers when the papers fell.

She panicked and helped the smaller me pick up the papers, putting the flowers down next to her. She tried her best to neatly stack the papers, but her uncoordinated hands ended up causing a bigger mess. Her laugh echoed throughout the hallway. She didn’t pay attention to the curious stares of students passing by. 

“I think we got them all, right?” Her voice had a rhythm to it as if she were lightly singing her words. I quickly picked up the papers and walked away, leaving her standing there.

At the time, I hadn’t gotten a good look at her face. I’d been busy trying to pick up the papers with her. Instead, her laugh and joyful aura stayed in my memory.

Once I delivered the papers, I ran back to the hallway where we’d bumped into each other. I didn’t see her, but I saw those yellow flowers still lying on the ground. I picked them up and felt my heart start to race.

I spent the next few minutes searching around the school for her, but I couldn’t find her. All I wanted was to thank her, but my heart had other ideas for me.

The dream changed.

Little me was crying alone in a classroom. A few months had flown by since I first ran into that helpful girl. I’d just gotten bad news about my grandmother. I hadn’t been given enough time to grieve properly, and it was taking a toll on me mentally. That day in class, a character in a book we were reading had the same name as her. Holding my tears back until the classroom was empty was all I could do for myself at the time. I waited for the classroom to clear out before I let my tears go.

I tried my best to cry silently, but a few girls walking through the hallway and heard the crying. One of the girls told the others, “I’ll catch up with you guys later!” I’d only heard it once before, but I knew that rhythmic voice.

It was her again.

Little me noticed her and immediately wiped his tears away. “Y-you’re the yellow flower girl.” It took a lot of strength for me to speak through my tears.

“Hey there, friend! I didn’t think I’d bump into you again like this.” She tilted her head to the side and pretended to think. “Well, the bumping is a little less literal this time, but you get what I mean!” She came closer to me and took the seat next to mine. “You looked sad, and I wanted to make sure you were doing alright.”

“I-I’m fine.” I said, my voice shivering with every syllable. “I didn’t mean to cry. I really didn’t.” I tried my best to hold my tears back. “We were reading a book in class and…and…”

I couldn’t get another word out.

I hated crying in front of others. It made me feel like a weak little kid. Before I started middle school, I swore to myself that I would be more mature and adult-like.

The funeral was the first time I’d seen my grandfather cry like that. He’d always been a strong man, but losing his wife must’ve broken something in him. I wasn’t able to cry at the funeral, and the thought of that had haunted me in the week since then.

I’m sorry Grandma.

With that thought, I cried harder, and the girl moved closer to my seat. Without hesitating, she gave me a hug.

“I don’t know you, and I don’t know what kind of life you’ve lived. I don’t know how much pain you’re in, and I may never know, but the one thing I’m certain of is that you needed to let this out.”

I choked out the words, “But I’m not supposed to cry! I wanted to stay tough so that she doesn’t feel sorry for me up in heaven!”

I was bawling and she hugged me tighter. She pat my head like before, softly shushing me. “It’s okay. Even if she’s not here on Earth, she wouldn’t want you to feel hurt. I can feel how loved you were just from how sad you are right now.”

I calmed down a little as she went on. “Never be afraid to cry. All humans have tears for a reason, you know? If you hold them in for too long, you might erupt like a volcano and hurt the people you care the most about.”

I sniffed, grossing myself out with my sticky face. “Sorry for getting snot on your shirt.”

She laughed at my unexpected comment. “It snot a problem at all!” Surprising even myself, her dumb joke made me laugh with her. It was both silly and soothing at the same time. “That’s better!” She wiped away the rest of my tears. I tilted my head up and finally looked into her eyes.

That day, I fell in love for the first time.