Chandra’s phone vibrated on the table as her younger sister’s name popped up on her screen. She picked up the phone.

“Hel-”

“KAK CHANDRA—where are you??” Kartika screeched through the phone, promptly followed by a groan in the seeming relief that Chandra had picked up her call.

Chandra laughed, sheepishly smiling an apology at the students nearby who had turned their heads from Kartika’s voice. “Oh boy, I’m in big trouble, aren’t I?” Chandra teased. Kartika rarely called her Chandra. “I’m in the university library, Tika. I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay, I was seriously spooked when I woke up and you weren’t here and—oh, just text me next time you’re heading out please!” Kartika’s voice cracked at the very end—just briefly, only for a second, but it was enough for Chandra to hear.

Chandra paused, all traces of her teasing smile now gone as she processed the alarm in her sister’s voice. She quietly smiled, her voice soft. “I’m sorry, Tika. I’ll text you next time.”

Kartika seemed to pause at the shift in Chandra's tone of voice. “Ahh, it’s okay. I’m sorry for yelling,” Kartika slowly exhaled over the phone. “I was just worried.”

Chandra’s smile grew softer. “I know, it’s okay,” she glanced at her watch and noticed it was nearly lunchtime. “Have you eaten yet, Tik?”

“I haven’t, but I should soon. Have you?”

“I haven’t either,” Chandra's stomach quietly rumbled. “Do you wanna eat together near the campus? There’s a lot of good places nearby and I’m feeling a bit nostalgic today."

“Oh!” Chandra heard a rustle of bedsheets through the phone, concluding that her sister had abruptly sat up in bed. “Yeah, I’m down for that!” Kartika sounded excited. “Should we go to that bakmi place that you really like?”

“Ooo yes, that sounds good,” Chandra smiled, relieved that Kartika’s spirits seemed to have lifted. “Do you wanna meet there in about an hour?

“Yes, let’s do that. I’ll get ready and head over,” Kartika said and Chandra could hear that she was smiling too. “Kak Dra?”

“Yes?” Chandra responded.

“You’re really coming right?”

Chandra’s breath hitched in the hollow of her throat. She chuckled. “Yes I am, don’t worry.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit!”

The two siblings hung up and Chandra looked at her phone. The small seed of guilt that sat in the pit of her stomach had slowly grown heavier over the course of their call.

She had known that her sister cared about her, but she was now beginning to realize just how much Kartika cared. She silently made a vow to try and make up for all the absences and empty spaces that she had left in Kartika’s life. Starting today.

Chandra pocketed her phone and her gaze fell on the book with the maroon cover that was open on the table. The handwritten sentence scribbled on the last page gazed back at her.

I hope all of your dreams come true!

Her smile slowly returned to her lips. She traced the swoops and lines of the words written by a person who, unlike her, separated her letters neatly when she wrote. A person who had expressed dreams far larger than the small expectations she had carried on the width of her shoulders.

The sticky notes and sheets of paper that were once stuffed inside the pages were gone, but Chandra was content that some of their notes had remained—faded, but still legible within the margins. A lot of them had been erased (presumably by irritated grad students), but Chandra could still see most of the indentations that the notes had left behind. 

It didn’t matter, however. She could remember most of them by heart.

She began flipping through the pages of the book and encountered more notes scribbled in the margins.

This is interesting! Wanna discuss?

Yes. I have thoughts.

She remembered the discussion that had lasted well into the hours of the morning and smiled.

??? I don’t understand this part.

Me too. Glad I’m not the only one.

The particular passage that had caused the confusion brought to life the memories of someone who, unlike her, immediately wanted to head to the studio and dance the passages that she had felt confused about. Chandra had never met anyone who could interpret dance movements from an anthropology book, but that was one of the spaces she had occupied in Chandra’s life. 

I hope to work on a project like this someday.

YES -- you should!!

Chandra leaned her chin on her hand and smiled wistfully. Compared to living life as an adult, her undergraduate years had felt like a time when her world had felt smaller—her feet taking large, optimistic strides as if she could do anything to change the entire world.

She flipped to the very end of the book and returned to the handwriting that she had sought out from the beginning, tracing her fingers gently over the sentence once more.

She looked thoughtfully at the handwriting before standing up to wander over to Ms. Lasma’s desk, asking where she could find stationary in the library. Ms. Lasma gave her several of her own sticky notes (despite Chandra's protests) and insisted she take them before Chandra finally accepted them with gratitude.

She carefully flipped to the back of the book, gently placing a blue sticky note inside before returning the book back to its place on the shelf.