Akari found herself underwater, she kept sinking lower and lower, she could feel the rising pressure and its weight on her body. She was gasping for air and saw a human figure looking at her from above, she tried to ask for help from that human, she was continuously sinking and her lungs were about to give in due to lack of oxygen. Akari could feel herself drifting to unconsciousness and then at the end moment the person viewing from above decided to help her and lower the life jacket, before passing out Akari looked and recognized Nicole. And just when their eyes meet Nicole got shocked and pulled back her life jacket and started to disappear, seeing Nicole leaving Akari panicked and exhaled all her air and was about to die due to drowning. Akari woke up suddenly and found herself lying naked in her bed with Rachel by her side, Rachel was sleeping soundly and oblivious to the nightmare Akari was having beside her. Akari slowly got up from the bed without disturbing Rachel and went by the window. She always hated these kinds of nightmares which involves Nicole. She always feels very restless after these, she finds herself falling in a pit with no bottom, her heart feels so heavy that she would not be able to move an inch or breath again. The pain, anger, betrayal all get mixed up, Akari losses all the life, happiness, contentment she had after these nightmares. She feels like she would not be able to be happy again, permanent grimness settles in her heart and it destroys any desire to live in Akari. She knew that after one of these nightmares she would not be able to sleep so she decided to settle on the couch in the living room. Her thoughts keep wandering to Nicole and their life back then, looking back now Akari finds it difficult to think how could she have been that happy with Nicole, it was like she was broken and aimlessly roaming on the earth and somehow Nicole made her whole again and taught her how to live and love. Akari had accepted that the void which was left by Nicole would never be filled but she was desperately trying to reduce the pain. This pain which is constant in her life, no matter what happens or how much she achieves this pain remains as her constant companion, Akari was not able to get rid of this pain and the void created by Nicole. Pain and void which was like a black hole and no amount of love, companionship or sex could fill it and make her feel whole again.
Akari sigh deeply and decided to make herself a coffee, she picked up her phone and noticed messages from Jess asking about the plan and progress she made, Akari frown at the bossy tone which Jess was using with her, she placed her phone on the counter and pour coffee in the mug and went to her desk and fired up her laptop. She tracked Emily's social accounts and friend circle. All things that Jess had told her checked out and were correct about Emily but Akari got suspicious about intimacy reflected in pictures of Jess and Emily, she got a feeling that these two girls may be more than just friends and a faint smile appears on Akari's face due to her stupidity for not being able to see the situation before.
Akari was able to fetch almost every detail about Emily but she was not able to find and details about her father, she remembered that her father and brother worked at Black Gate securities but that also does not explain their total absence in the digital sphere. Akari found it very unusual and decided to dig more into it after meeting with Jess, she went to the kitchen and picked her phone and texted Jess to meet with her before school at the same dinner.
Akari was about to return to the bedroom that's when she noticed Rachel standing at the door who wrapped the bedsheet over her shoulders to cover herself. She looked at Akari with disappointment and pity, Rachel knew about Akari's nightmares and know she has trouble sleeping. She asked Akari " Can't sleep ?"
Akari: "yeah, woke up so decided to do some work"
Rachel: "you know you can talk to me about them, it might help"
Akari: "Thanks, but I don't think it would help, I will have to deal with them alone on my own"
Rachel sighed and turned to the bed, just then Akari called out her name and said "Rachel I am sorry for hurting you.... but we cannot continue like this, I won't be able to see you after your marriage and I cannot be in a committed relationship either. I am sorry for everything and I would like to be your friend if you could accept me as one."
A tear escaped from Rachel's eye after listening to what Akari had said, she was not able to respond and went back to the bedroom and collected her clothes and put them on, she was about to leave when she looked at Akari and said that: " Akari I respect your decision and I will not force you to be in a relationship with me, but please forgive yourself and Nicole for what had happened, you would not be able to carry this burden alone. You can always count on me as a friend, take care."
Akari silently listened to Rachel and was lost in the moment, she heard the unlocking of the door when Rachel left her apartment, her footstep as she walked away from her, the sound of the clock as it registers each passing second, Akari just sat there doing nothing, she never loved Rachel but her presence does help Akari to feel less empty even just for a while. At that moment Akari thought what if I am never able to move past this, am I too broken to be fixed...
Comments (0)
See all