Jackson wasn't trying to get Remy to cry, but this wouldn't be the first time he had gotten someone to open up and feel what they needed to the most. He cleared out Remy's spirit enough so those true feelings could be felt, relaxed him enough to let go and be free of the weight he carried, even if it was only for a little while.
Sitting there, not moving from his position as Remy cried in his lap. Refraining from consoling him, till Remy himself rolled over and pulled himself up higher into his lap. Remy wrapped his arms around his waist, hugging Jackson as he cried, letting it all out. Letting it all go.
Jackson picked up that same soothing motion, this time along his spine, gliding his fingers down over and over. Tell he worked his way up to the back of his head, stroking his hair.
Remy figured he must have cried himself into a deep sleep because when he came back around, he was still laying out on the floor with Jackson underneath him, but the sun was now up. His face felt puffy and sore as he sat up. Jackson groaned, turning over pulling the blanket with him.
"Feel better?" He mumbled, not opening his eyes because if he did he would really be awake, and he knew it was too early for him to be up.
He didn't know how he felt. His body, slowly coming into focus, taking longer to fully wake up this morning than it normally did. Huffing to himself with surprise as he looked back at Jackson.
"Told you to trust me." He smirked in his half-sleep.
Remy did feel better. He felt a whole lot better actually. No longer so weighed down by his feelings. Letting go of the hate and sadness he carried for Spencer. Narrowing his gaze at Jackson, thinking that wasn't some spiritual awakening he did but some straight-up witchcraft.
"What did you do to me?"
"Nothing that didn't need to be done." Jackson gave in as he turned back over, stretching out on the floor, arms raised high over his head.
"I just got you to relax and open up to what you were feeling. Nothing more. Nothing less." He smirked, "Crazy what the right vibe and open-mindedness can do for you."
It only worked because Remy wanted it to. Sure getting him to relax was a huge part of it, but the main thing was Remy wanted to feel better. So he opened himself up to what he was trying to do for him. Jackson was nothing more than a guide for him.
Men were always wound up the tightest, having this stigma of showing no emotions. A belief Jackson himself thought was utter bullshit. Emotions were meant to be felt. Men, only showing those of a negative light. All of which he saw in Remy. His hate, his anger, his pain. A man crying, feeling those deep emotions within himself, wasn't a sign of weakness but strength in his eyes.
"Have you done this to other people?"
Nodding his head, "I've only done it a few times so far. Still, kind of new to all of this, but I seem to be doing pretty good."
Jackson was proud of the few changes he has made in others' lives. He's held a few guided meditation groups in his home before. As well as a handful of times he's done things as he did for Remy last night, most of which he got paid for not because he asked but because they insisted.
"That will be two hundred dollars." Commented Jackson seriously as he sat up, holding his hand out like he wanted to be paid for his work.
"How about I just give you another mind-blowing blow job instead." Joked Remy, knowing Jackson wasn't serious about the money.
He wouldn't have pushed him so hard to come if it wasn't something he wanted to do out of kindness. Also, pushing himself to make light of his embarrassment about the other evening.
"I mean. . . maybe two would cover it."
"Oh fuck off." Remy tossed the nearest pillow to him at Jackson.
"Yeah, two would do."
"Just add it to my tab then." Remy stood up, stretching his muscles flexing in the process.
Catching Jackson's eyes on him, "What?"
"Nothing." He stated nonchalantly.
"Bullshit."
"Would you ever let me paint you? Draw even?" Jackson's artistic side fired off as he looked at his form.
He had nice lines, which he noticed last night. A body that was very proportionate with even symmetry too. Remy never saw himself as someone overly attractive, but he didn't seem himself as ugly either. Placed himself in the middle of the two realistic in his thinking of himself knowing that some would, and some wouldn't find him attractive.
"Maybe for two hundred dollars." Commented Remy, pulling his shirt back on. "You got any coffee here or only tea?"
"I have coffee."
Jackson always kept some for when he had people over that preferred it over tea. The two of them headed downstairs. Remy had to catch himself halfway down the steps. His body felt so light after getting everything off his chest that he felt almost off-balance physically.
"So. . . as for me crying like a fucking baby last night . . . " Remy brushing his hand through his hair, trying to play it cool.
"I can pretend it didn't happen if that makes you feel better about it, but honestly, no judgment here. I'm actually quite proud of you."
"Why did I know you would say something like that."
Jackon was very new age. So different from the people he was used to being around. Jackson didn't seem to care about social norms or ways. He just seemed to do his own thing.
"Though I'm hung up on being proud."
"Yeah, man. You let yourself open up to something new. Something you were unsure of but trusted me to guide you, and then you let yourself feel. That's huge." Jackson didn't see last night as something small but big.
It was a big step in the right direction for Remy. The first step in his mind to recovery.
Remy really needed to be able to let those raw emotions free so that he can come to terms with Spencer’s death and finally accept it. That is major progress.
Spencer, struggling to come to terms with who he really is at the core before its to late.
Remy, unable to have the one thing he's always wanted and learning that maybe his cards were dealt differently than he saw them.
Jackson, a free soul that wants to ease the pain in the lives around him. Getting a little more than he ever imagine to get.
This story may contain some triggers for readers : Gay Bashing/Slurs, Strong Language, Abuse, Anexity, Pain, Drug Use, and Death. All parts containing triggers will be marked as M.
Comments (3)
See all