*R-18*

I'm not going to lie to myself but since last night John has been acting like he's on serious happy pills. I woke up to him sliding into the bed this morning with a cup of coffee and breakfast for both of us.

"Good morning. Here's your coffee and breakfast."  he said kissing my forehead. I smiled and got up to do the morning necessities before coming back to enjoy breakfast.

"Coffee.... Mmmmm...Thank you." I murmured sleepily as I sat back and enjoyed the little surprise. The entire time I kept feeling him looking at me with a big grin. I returned it when he caught me looking but he was making me blush. All I could think was 'what the hell Sin, you're acting like a damn teenager over here. After we had finished he took everything away and he had just this glow of joy all around him. I giggled thinking about him, the goof was acting like a teenager too.

I was taking a shower when I heard him come in to the bathroom.

"Any plans today, Sin?" I heard as the shower door also shut.

His query left me curious, "No, did you have something in mind?" I asked as I rinsed the soap out of my hair.

"I was thinking lets go up the coast for a few days. We don't have to be back in the office for a week, would be nice to get out of town and go out and about not having to worry about anyone we may know seeing us together." He asks coming up behind me to hold me close. His hands begin to roam as he kisses my neck and I give in.

"Sure let's go somewhere." I happily agree. I can feel his smile against my skin as he begins to take me in the shower.

.....

We went up to Monterey Bay and stayed a day before going down into the central valley. We went  into Paso Robles for a wine tasting tour. Then we cut back over to the coast to go up to San Simeon. Doing all the things young in love couples do touring. I let him take the pictures and get all those experiences in. The soft, intimate caress of the hand or arm, the kisses, the shy looks, the laughs, those pure moments of being ourselves with no cares.

We visited the local beach at San Simeon and played in the water. We actually built a decent sand castle with just some drink cups we had. We decorated them with stones, little shells, sticks and sea weed. We picked up a small piece of driftwood worn smooth and John stuck it in his pocket with a shell and stone we had found.

"What are those for?" I ask him.

"For something I want to put together for your place." He chuckled stretching and looking like I just put him under a magnifying glass.  He put his arm around my waist and suggested we go to the room and get tickets to go see the local "castle" attraction up on the hill.

The next day we we took the bus up to the castle and did the upstairs and main rooms tour. I found it funny that all of it was built and being built when I was born. I looked around at the art, church relics, and tapestries listening to the tour guide inform us on the history of the some of the items. I drank in the beauty of the place and understood why the owner put so much love into the building. When we got to the end of the tour I was appalled at the question that another tourist had.

"So how much is all this worth today?" almost sounding like the only value in this place was the price sticker and what it could make someone.

I scoffed slightly and said, "It's priceless, do you know during WWII so much was lost in art and architecture that will never be around for anyone to appreciate. Before cameras became something that one could just take around and share easily. You can't put a price on any of this." I quickly looked to the tour guide for affirmation and the tour guide awkwardly with a big smile nodded.

"Yes, that is true, that this whole building and everything in it is considered priceless. That's why when we have weddings here, You must purchase at least 1 million dollar event insurance  in the agreement." She walked us out of the area and then we were free to roam the gardens.

John who was holding my hand leaned over and whispered, "Some people don't recognize true beauty when they see it." I looked at him as he winked. I just gave him a knowing smile as I started looking at all the flowers and the ocean views from the terraces.

I got lost in thought while looking around smelling things I could, appreciating the pieces of carved marble statues and the Egyptian statue. I had come to rest at this little shaded spot near one of the cottages that the branches of the tree framed this view of the beach and ocean perfectly. With the refreshing ocean breezes rising up to the sun kissed rolling hills on which the castle stood, it was calming. I agreed with the original owner that this was a very enchanting hill. My thoughts lingered to John and what had happened between us the other night and how we had said the words we were not supposed to say to each other.

He had not used the word love again since that night and I was grateful for that. I couldn't stand how freely the statement was thrown around so quickly between people these days. Most of the people I met that were in "relationships" were saying I love you a few weeks later after being intimate.  'No darling, you just lust after each other and think that the endorphins that are released  afterwards are one in the same.' It had me stop and think though, did I do the same thing? Or have I been suppressing my real desires, knowing it'll be just me after so many years, alone and devastated over that loss? Immediately after I thought about it I realized that with Nathaniel, yes it hurt still, but I  do not regret any of it. I don't think I would have changed a single decision if given the chance over. That's when I realized, I do love John. He makes me very happy. Maybe  I should stay with him. I don't think I could break his heart right now after we've both have made a much deeper connection. Just thinking about it was making my heart ache.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard John come up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist from behind. I smiled and turned to look into his eyes.

"What's that smile for?" He asks staring intently at my lips before looking into my eyes. I turn to face him and shrug casually.

"I'm happy. Plus it's beautiful up here. I love it..." I turn to look back out at the ocean and whisper softly practically just mouthing the words, "and you." I grin and blush knowing he can't see my face at the moment. He knows anyways cause he can feel it in my body language as I can feel his smile.

"Come on, there's a spot I wanna show you." He stiffens before tugging me slightly to follow him.

He took me to one of the balconies that was more secluded because of the flights of steep stairs you had to climb so not many tourists were present. We took the stairs that were just for this one balcony and climbed the two stories to reach it. Once up there I looked around and saw there was a better view of the beach area that I thought we had been at the day prior.

I turned around to ask John, "Hey isn't that the beach from yester.....day?" I paused stunned as John was down on one knee in front of me with a box out. My mind was reeling at what I was sure he was about to do. I blushed and covered my face with one of my hands as he grabbed the other.

"Mary Douglas, My favorite Sin," (He grinned and winked before turning serious again) "would you do me the utmost honor of promising me to let me be a part of your life everyday, to enjoy your friendship, your smile, and your heart, until I no longer am able to be part of this world?"

He asked sincerely without a bit of hesitation, he didn't fumble his words or speak to fast. With his steady and decisive deliverance, I could tell that he had made up his mind and that there was no doubt on what he was asking for.

My breath caught in my chest and I speechless. For once I couldn't articulate words and sentences even in my head.

My unresponsiveness and shocked expression from being surprised over the question caused John's face to start to fall as a flicker of doubt could be seen flashing through his eyes. I could see the thoughts form that asked himself, 'Did I just ruin everything?'

"Yes...." I fervidly managed to get out and nodded with how quiet my voice sounded. Immediately the few people who were around to witness this started clapping and cheering. John opened the box and pulled out an engagement ring with a pear shaped, London blue topaz with diamond and emerald accent stones on the sides. He placed the ring gingerly on my finger and stood to bring me in close and kiss me .

He kept it short and sweet but looked into my eyes and whispered, "I love you." I stared up at him stars practically eclipsing my eyeballs at this point.

(✷‿✷)

(Thank goodness I'm not an anime character. Those stars could really hurt somebody with how big they are.)

I just kissed him in response letting myself get swept away in our happy moment. Guess I've decided to keep him.