John sleeps peacefully after our round in the tub and then again once we were in the bed. I fell asleep long enough to enter into a nightmare about the war and woke up with the sweats. I get up not wanting to disturb him.

I'd be lying to myself if I said it was not going to hurt me when I would have to cut him free. He's a damn good man and knows me and my moods very well now. I stand at the railing of my 180* balcony overlooking the San Diego sunrise as I continue to tip back some more glasses of whiskey.

I hate this damn 'gift' sometimes that the fairy gave me all those years ago. I thought when you met a damn fairy it was 'happily ever after', not this quagmire.

It was great at first not growing old or sick, but then when everyone else you've known and holds dear starts to die off, it becomes a constant depressive issue. I don't really die, but damn do I feel every bit of the pain and in more ways than one. Before the war was over, I had discovered what my gift was and that was my own personal hell to experience.

I still have nightmares of the bomb going off. when I went to the nearby village to help the locals, the bomb exploded taking out my legs and burning most of my body. They return in my dreams, the feelings of pain in my legs that were no longer there, the smell of my burning flesh and fat that cauterized most of the open vessels, I want to vomit just thinking about it. It would have been more merciful if I had died.

One of the medics heard my raspy cry as they looked for any survivors. Normally, in my state, they would have looked for someone else to save after giving me a shot of morphine to ease me out of the world. Yet, when he saw me and knew who I was, he got me on the stretcher and took me to the field hospital.

Sarah and the Lieutenant, Lt. Daniel Ducade (Doo-Caude), who was the cousin of the soldier I couldn't save, gave me morphine after Sarah looked over me and gave me the look.

I was not going to survive the night.

In truth, I didn't survive long after she gave me that look.

Sarah told me later she stayed with me whispering silly things and I love yous, even though I was in shock. She remembers too as my eyes went dull and I slowly stopped breathing. She said when I had passed, she screamed and punched the ground a few times before wiping her face and getting back to work. This was part of the horrors of war and there were others who needed her help. Better to keep busy and hope there was a mistake that it wasn't me under those blankets.

She said about an hour later when she was working on someone near my body, she noticed I was breathing and my legs had come back since they were poking out from under the blanket they had put on them due to the sight.

She screamed for Lieutenant Ducade and pointed at me as before their very own eyes my skin was healing as well. Lt. Ducade grabbed a blanket and covered me up the rest of the way and asked if she had marked me as dead yet.

She had marked me as dead and also informed our C.O. (commanding officer) of my demise. It was shortly after that I woke up with my C.O., Sarah and the Lt. looking at me like they'd seen a ghost. My memories came rushing back and I tossed the blanket off not caring about my clothes being burned off and almost went into shock at my perfectly fine legs and skin.

Sarah was the one to speak, "So ya ken, I believe you really did meet tha' thar fairy you'un told me 'bout an' I reckon she gave you mor'en you hoped for."

I looked at her with my jaw dropped. That was an understatement.

Soon after I became an operative for the United States military and they had me doing hundreds of missions to help end the war. When I came back to the states, they kept me as an agent as part of the OSS, until a few years later they evolved into the CIA, and have paid me a considerable salary that keeps growing over time. Ah inflation...

Sarah and Lt. Ducade came back to the States as well after the war and got married and had a beautiful family together. Auntie Mary was always close by though.

I also eventually fell in love and after being serious about our relationship, we got married.

I raise my glass to the sky and pour it to a man I'll never forget. The reason I push every man away after emotions start running too deep. I look down at my now empty glass and sigh. I go in and make myself another with my bedroom's wet bar. I take another swig and I feel arms wrap around me again.

"Come to bed, lay with me before I have to go." He whispers.

I lean back. "Okay." and turn to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him.

He picks me up and carries me to the bed and passionately kisses me and chases the painful memories away letting me get lost in the moment.

The sun is up higher when we open our eyes again to turn off our alarms. It's 7 and he still has to head back to his place to feed his cat, Sinatra. He kisses me sweetly and gets me a coffee before heading to his place.

I get dressed and drink my coffee and begin my voice report. The nice thing about my job and my rank, I can skip the paperwork and just record me going over the events and actions that happened during a mission. I only have to go in to go over the mission briefings and when I'm bored. I go in mostly to mess with John because I know it riles him up that he can't say or do anything like when we're at my place. We have to keep everything between us hush, so it's easier to make everyone think I just like picking on him cause he makes it too easy.

Honestly, I like picking on him because it means he'll punish and spank me later those nights.

**devilish grin appears on my face**

The day goes by with Cass waking up after lunch. I make us something to eat and afterward he helps me do the dishes and clean up our mess.

"Are you and that Agent married?" he asks me while I get ready to take the trash out.

I pause, "No.... we're not."

"Oh okay." he seemed to be in a more cheerful mood after that as I kept looking at him.

"Hey kid, can you do me a favor and not tell anyone he was over here? We'd get in trouble because of work if we did." I'm praying in my head right now he can keep secrets.

"That who was over?" He looks at me puzzled.

"You know what kid, we're gonna get along just fine with that attitude." I smile at him as I take the trash out.

I get a call from my "boss" telling me he has some paperwork for me to pick up and take with me tonight.

"Oh is that right mother hen? I know what I should be picking up to take with me tonight." I say seductively. He clears his throat and I can hear his blush through the phone. "What's the matter, Agent John? Am I coming on too strong for you?" I couldn't help myself.

"We can... um... discuss this later. See you soon." he hangs the call-up and I snicker.

He is such a private person when it comes to affection but I can't help but tease the man. I know I'm being cruel in a way like this dragging the affection on. I just hate ending things by picking fights to get them to leave it's a waste of both people's time, energy, and emotions.

I go to get Cass and find him looking at some of the photographs of my time in the war and friends and family. He doesn't touch anything but keeps staring at me in all the different pictures, I don't change but the people all around me do. The difference in the quality of photographs over time also gets his attention when he notices me.

He jumps a little and says, "I'm not touching anything."

"I know kid. See something interesting over there?" I walk over by him.

"Miss Sin, Are you an Angel?" he asks me seriously.

'Seriously kid? ME and Angel? HA!'

"No, I'm not." I reply

"Then how?" the wheels moving in the boy's head are working overtime to process this as he points to the pictures.

"I have a friend who's really good at photo editing." I respond nonchalantly.

He gives me a dirty look. "I may be young Miss Sin, but I'm not stupid. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but you don't need to lie to me either. I saw the bullet come out of your head. You were dead and now you're not." He gives this offended look and I can't help but feel I've underestimated this kid.

"Look sorry Caspian, you're right, I lied. However, today is not the day you get to hear the story and you can't really tell anyone about it either. I'm a kind of Secret Agent and I also like my privacy." I don't hold back in admitting my wrongdoings but I think it too much for an 8-year-old to hear about too.

He accepts that answer with a nod and asks, "So is this my new home now?"

"Oh yeah, that's right we need to go." I say directing him towards the door.

'The kid needs a home and mine is not child friendly.'