Well, I guess you're wondering what's going on right? Well, my name is Sin, I wasn't born with that name but it defines who I was before I became what I am now.  My name now is merely an acronym from something my commanding officer said to me.

I look like I am 28 but I'm actually 104. I was born in 1916 during World War I to a normal family off the coast of California. Lived a normal enough childhood and went to college after school. During World War II, I was a nurse in the army working for the European Theater of Operations and it was at this time, in the fall of 1944, that my life changed forever.

My duties in the field hospital were helping the surgeons either sew a man up to be put back in the field or try to assess the damage and stabilize them to transport to the nearest hospital. What I experienced is what I imagined hell is like. Bombs, planes, and gunshots can be heard off in the distance as the screams and cries of the dying and wounded are the main verse to the horrors of war symphony. A mix of adrenaline and fatigue plagued me and my fellow nurses and surgeons and as weary as we were, we seemed to always get through even the worst days.

It was right after an attempted 'blitzkrieg' tactic on our allies that I thought I was losing my mind. I had been up for 46 hours only stopping to take a drink of water if I remembered. The bodies kept being brought in the tents and lined up along Omaha beach. Every surgeon was busy trying to save who they could and we were doing the same. One of the triage nurses who had shaken her head at a man, a sign that we couldn't do anything for them, had the man screaming at her as she walked away.

I approached the man and said, "Why don't you show me what's going on."

When he pulled back his hand and I saw his abdomen shredded from shrapnel. I wasn't sure I could agree with my colleagues' decision that he could not be saved. In my state, I reasoned that I could remove the majority of the shrapnel that protruded from his body and sew up what needed to be. The man agreed happy to have someone help and not give up just to let him die.

An hour later and I'm looking into his cold, lifeless eyes, as I was inexperienced in performing surgery alone and run down to boot. I had failed to save the man's life despite giving it my all. I lost it and started slapping his face to 'stay with me, we could still do this'.

One of my friends, Sarah, was there with me and could see what was happening. She had to slap me to get a hold of myself.

"'Ot'erwise 'ow can you help anyone else 'round here?'" I was able to pull myself back together after a few breaths and take care of his body.

When my commanding officer found out, he didn't care about anything other than belittling me and threatening me with everything under the sun. His exact words before he told me to get out,

"What made you think a STUPID, INCOMPETENT, NOBODY of a nurse, like you, could perform surgery on that man?! Get out of my sight, you're dismissed."

I used to drink quite regularly before volunteering and I hadn't had a drink in months since I arrived. So when one of the lieutenants offered me half a bottle of brandy, I took a long drink from it. After I swallowed, I sighed with a small smile as a thank you for the gesture and went to hand it back.

" Keep it, Nurse Douglas. We all saw you earlier trying to save his life. You deserve the drink." he patted my shoulder before heading away while I went to the edge of camp.

I decided to take a stroll along the rolling hill just outside of camp letting the abyss inside me deepen, still tipping the bottle back as the warmth in my gut started heating my body. There were no tears yet. Only this vast cavern of emptiness threatened to drive me insane as the last few moments of that man's life kept repeating in my mind.

I needed to relieve myself, so I walked a little farther to avoid any of the soldiers catching a glimpse of my white rump in the moonlight.

I came upon a lonely tree with a boulder perfect for sitting on. After relieving myself I went and sat on the hard cold stone. I was feeling the effects of the alcohol at this point as I tipped the bottle back to finish it off.

I fell backwards.

Instead of hitting soft grass or the tree, I fell swiftly down and hit hard wet sand with a good thump, knocking the wind out of me.

When I regained my breath I sat up with a groan in the darkness that surrounded me and looked up at the only source of light. That being the moonlight through the hole in the ground above me. I didn't feel any broken bones but my wet rear, bruised tail, and back made me groan again.

In my drunken state, all I could do was laugh at my predicament. Crazy, loud laughter that quickly turned into racking sobs over the young man I couldn't save and let the abyss inside me take over.

*Earlier*

He was being so brave, even though there was not enough morphine until our new supplies arrived he let me begin the process of taking the shrapnel out. Biting down on a piece of leather as he tried to remain still. He was doing so well until the last largest piece.

Both of us are dripping in sweat and fatigue as i gently moved the tissue from the piece of metal protruding.

I told him to brace and gave it a slight tug. Blood welled up and out as he bit through the leather and let it fall out of his mouth.

"Stop Nurse. I can't take it anymore." He cried weakly to me. "Just hold my hand until the pain subsides." He offered his hand and I took it holding it close to my face.

"Thank you, ma'am. You sure are a pretty one. Makes me wish I'd have met you under different circumstances." He grinned through the pain looking at my face, "What's your name?"

"Mary." I said holding his hand tighter as the other hand kept the pressure on the area, even though I knew it was too late.

"Mary..." He whispered my name with a smile as the light died from his eyes and that was when I had lost it earlier.

......

*In the hole of the now drunk mess*

The memory ripped through me and made the abyss inside swallow me whole.

"I'm so sorry, I tried to save you... I tried.." the anguish that felt like I had ripped my heart out filled me over the situation

"I'm so sorry.."

I pulled my handkerchief out to wipe the tears and mucus off my face from all the crying. I don't know how long I cried before I started to look around. Since I noticed my eyes had adjusted to the low light, I looked around for a possible way out and noticed a pair of eyes staring at me a few yards away. I looked again closer only for them to have disappeared. I then heard the shuffling of feet.

"Who's there?" I called out to receive a confused response in an older french woman's voice.

"Pardoner-moi?" (Pardon me?)

....~_~.....

'you're in France idiot the locals don't speak English, put that college french to work'

"Qui est Lá?" I ask in my best slurred french (who's there?)

"Une Vieille Fée. Pourquoi pleures-tu?" (An old woman. Why are you crying?)

I started to cry again and choked out, "J'ai essayeé de sauver un homme." ( I tried to save a man)

It took me several breaths before I could control my self but I heard her move a little closer to where I could see the outline of her but not clearly.

"Je vois, vous avez essayé et vous n'avez pas réussi. C'est la vie. Connaissiez-vous l'homme?" (I see. You tried and did not succeed. That's life. Did you know the man?) the old woman seemed to cock her head at me and my mind cleared for a second.

"Non." (No.) I shook my head

"Je vois. Alors qu'est-ce que vous voulez? Quel est votre désir? Il doit y en avoir un pour vous avoir amené ici. Peut-être que je peux aider?" (I see. Then what do you want? What is your desire? There must be one to have brought you here to me. Maybe I can help?) She asked me sounding concerned and eager to help me.

"Je veux juste faire du bien.....pour pouvoir sauvers les gens sans soucier de la mort." ( I just want to do some good,.... to be able to save people without worry over death.) I had to keep wiping my eyes as I talked and started to hiccup.

"Est-ce vrai?" (is that true?) she crooned and moved slightly closer to me on my right so I still couldn't see her face in the moonlight.

"Oui." (yes) I shuddered from the sobs trying to take over my body again.

She held out her old, long, slender hand with something in it.

"Je vais vous aider. Mange ça c'est bon." (I will help. Eat this, It is good.)

"Merci beaucoup." (thank you very much.) I could not remember the last time I had eaten today and gratefully took the berries that the woman offered. After I swallowed the delicious fruit I thanked her again.

I heard a chuckle from the old woman,

" Alors voyons ce que vous pouves faire de bien avec ce cadeau." (Then let us see what good you can do with this gift.)

Suddenly my eyes got heavy as her face came into the light and I realized I made a mistake.

'Vieille dame' is old woman so 'Vieille fée' doesn't mean old woman, it meant old fairy.

I just ate something a fairy gave to me. Oh I've just won an award on stupidity. 

She was definitely a fairy too. This was all too evident in the black sclera and iris of her eyes as she crooned at me with her thumb and long slender fingers cupping her smiling chin in curiosity at me.

"Fuck." I whispered as my head fell back and lost consciousness...

.....Morning arrived...

"Nurse Douglas! Nurse Douglas! Mary Douglas!"

I groaned as several voices were yelling my name and I had a headache and bad taste in my mouth. I started to get up and realized I was freezing wet and in sand. I looked around and could see I was in a cave with a hole above me.

"I'm..." I choked out my voice breaking. I cleared my hoarse throat and gave it another go.

"I'M HERE!" I yelled with all my might. the voices got nearer as I kept shouting my voice breaking here and there.

" I'M HERE IN A HOLE!"

"Mary?" the voice of my friend Sarah with her light Scottish accent called out almost right above the hole.

" Look down Sarah, I'm right here!" I called out to her. Her red, curly-haired head peered over the hole's edge and looked down.

" Heavens Mercy, Mary Douglas. Wha'd in the heck are ya doing down there?" She sounded concerned and a little mad.

"I just thought that I would fall into this hole last night." I said sarcastically.

"Oh really now? ya ken, tha'd be not the wisest choice you've 'ver made Mary. Also 'twas not the worst 'ither." she laughed at me slightly as her Scottish accent started getting thicker.

"Are you here just to bust my chops, Sarah, or are you going to help me out of this hole?"

She grinned, "Only you would fall into a hole drunk to make me and the lieutenants have to search for you." She turned her head and yelled out, "O'er here lads, she fell o'er in dis here hole. "

I was blushing red from embarrassment as the boys managed to procure a rope and pull me up through the hole. One of them had been thoughtful enough to bring a blanket and wrapped me up with a kind, sad smile.

I found out later from Sarah that he was the young man's cousin that I couldn't save yesterday. I told Sarah about what I remembered after falling in that hole. She laughed and told me I must have been hallucinating from the trauma, fatigue, and alcohol.

"Come now, Mary. No one 'as seen the fa'r folk in ages. Do you really t'ink tha'd they'd be by a battlefield?" She said sounding as if her thinking was a matter of fact.

"So? We know of them and just because we haven't seen them for years doesn't mean that they're not still around. We still have pixies and dwarfs that are spotted from time to time. Why would an old fairy be just my imagination? I will admit I was feeling the brandy I drank, but Sarah, I know what I saw and experienced." I told her in earnest. She merely nodded a look of doubt and curiosity in her eyes.

"So ya ken the gift she gave you?" She asked me.

"No, I don't. I guess it was the berries and the sleep?" I wondered myself.

"Ya ken, you should hope that is all t'was, Mary." Sarah looked at me seriously.

Yeah, so much for hope working out for me. Bloody Fairies.

.....* Back to the present excitement*....

*BOOM*

After the explosives went off I grinned like an idiot.

I love blowing things up. 

Soon shooting could be heard as the team made its way and took out or apprehended the thugs left over. The kids had come running up out of the basement shortly after the explosion. The boy with me held his hands up and stopped them seeing that I had not left my spot yet. Once the team had made their way into the office part where we were I got up and started asking where the mother hen was at.

"Sin, will you stop calling me that. One would think you could show me a little respect after the years we've worked together." The annoyed tone in Agent Johns voice was all I needed to hear.

"Aw, there he is." I said all cute like talking to a puppy, "Come here mother hen and see for yourself, not a single scratch left on my body." I twirled around using the code name I gave him over 10 years ago after the first mission he oversaw with me.

He gave me an exasperated look and sighed. "Yeah, glad to see you're alright Sin. Now, are these all the kids you found?" He pointed at the group of kids that were being given water, a protein bar, and a quick look over by the team members to make sure no one was injured or sick.

I looked around and nodded at the group, "yeah that's all that I found. You'll find a few bodies down there in the basement area. Only three are mine. One was an idiot and O.D. right before trying to fight me."

"Well, that'll be interesting to put into the paperwork. You'll be doing a voice report again, I take it?...what?" Agent John kind of gave me a weird look at the end as the boy that had been following me earlier came up and grabbed my hand holding it tight.

"uhhh....." I looked down at the fierce little grip the child had on me and realized the team were taking the kids out to the vans that began to roll up to take them to a hospital and hopefully find their families. "It's alright kid, they're just taking you to the hospital and to find your family. Don't you want to see your family again?" I asked attempting a tug at my arm.

'Nope, death grip it is.'

He shook his head no fiercely which made me and Agent John give each other a knowing look. The kid was either abused at home, sold to the drug runners and would just be sold again, or his family was dead.

I sighed, "Why don't you ride with me kid?"

He shook his head yes and walked with me to the van and we got inside.

As the vans were on their way from that warehouse, I looked at the kid and asked him, "So kid do you talk? What's your name?"