In hindsight, it was probably not a good idea to be letting persistent strangers who spewed nonsense into one’s home.

But well, the guy also paid for Han Li’s pizza so he was at least semi-entitled to a slice or two. If it got weird then Han Li was just going to have to kick him out.

Luckily or perhaps unluckily, the walls were paper thin so if this guy caused too much of a commotion then at least one of his annoying neighbors would likely call the cops.

Thankfully, the mysterious Graham guy was quiet with his pizza slice, his attention stolen by the TV. There was a clear frown of disapproval on his face yet he kept watching nonetheless, which Han Li found to be pretty hilarious.

Graham only spoke up after the ending song finished playing. “This show is difficult to understand. Is this what kids are enjoying these days? I cannot fathom what the parents are thinking,” he complained, looking at his now empty plate where the crumbs of his devoured pizza had been.

Han Li scowled, pointing his half-eaten pizza crust at Graham, “Hey, ‘Gunslinger: Online’ isn’t for kids. It’s for adults! And maybe teenagers. And plus, it’s only confusing because this is the fifth episode so of course, you don’t know what’s going on.”

Graham looked even more confused if anything. “I was not aware that cartoon animations have expanded their market to adults and teenagers.”

Han Li sighed, this guy spoke like a real boomer. “It’s anime, not a cartoon. Geez, how are you this ignorant? Anime’s becoming pretty mainstream nowadays.”

“…” Graham stared blankly at him without saying a word, which only made Han Li feel disconcerted.

“W-What? What is it? Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Forgive me. I was trying to think of a proper response, but frankly, I did not understand anything that you said. It seems that your vernacular is beyond my comprehension. Please use clearer and simpler terms.”

“…”

“…”

“Are you, like a grandpa or something?” This was getting to the point of absurdity.

“I have not sired any children so the answer is no. I am not a grandfather.”

“…Right.” Never mind. It seemed that common sense was beyond this guy. And sure, Han Li had met some pretty weird wackos in the work of hunting but nothing quite like this before. “So please remind me why you’re at my door harassing me again? I already told you that I’ve quit hunting for good. I sent my last operator a lengthy retirement letter as well as my license.”

Graham seemed to perk up slightly, though his expression was extremely monotone, “If you're worried about getting a new license, I have the means of acquiring one quickly, without extra charges.”

Seriously? “Did you listen at all to what I said…?”

“Yes.”

“Then…did you hear the part where I said I quit for good?”

“Yes. I merely tactfully chose to ignore it.”

“…Okay…” Han Li felt his eye twitch, “Care to tell me why?”

“Of course,” Graham replied as he checked a watch on his wrist. “But we will have to discuss it at another time. It is late. Good night Han Li and do not stay up too late.”

“Huh?” Han Li blinked, watching the man stand and saunter out the door as if this was all perfectly fine and normal. He then turned to gaze at his kitchen counter, where a digital clock displayed the time.

It was 8:00 pm.

…

Han Li made it till after the last period until he couldn’t stand it any longer. He needed to tell someone about the whole situation surrounding one Graham Assly. That was his name, right? Han Li couldn’t remember.

So after painting class was over, he cornered his good friend Simone and forced her to follow him into a quaint coffee shop that was just next to the campus. It was decorated with diagrams of local flora and fauna and played snazzy jazz music. In other words, it was totally a place for hipsters and art students like Simone and himself.

“This better be good,” she huffed, pushing her large, thick-framed glasses up her nose. She was tall with a thin build but liked to wear clothes that were at least three times bigger than her size. Today it was washed out overalls on top of a neon green t-shirt and brown hiking boots that were way too hot for the current weather. She kept her natural hair out of her face with a bandanna that had rubber duckies printed all over them. “Because if you think that this latte is good enough to buy my help for your drawing project. Then ooohhh boy, Mr. Li Han, you sly idiot you. You will be in for disappointment!”

“It’s Han Li!” Han Li grimaced as he rose to her provocation without fail every single time. Most people, normal people, just called him Li. But one day, he swore, he would hear ‘Han Li’ from Simone’s lips. “Anyways, this doesn’t have anything to do with my drawing project!” he whined, even though he might have initially thought about bribing her to help him.

But that wasn’t important right now. Han Li coughed to clear his throat, “Something really messed up happened to me last night.”

Simone’s eyes went instantly wide as she leaned into the table so abruptly that her glasses almost fell off her button nose. “Oho? Do tell! Did you finally muster the courage to text Matt?” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Han Li cringed, “No! I don’t even like Matt. He’s not my type at all. And there’s no way I’m going to text a number you stole off his ex, that’s just creepy, dude.”

Simone huffed with disappointment clear on her face. She stirred her latte before taking a sip. “But he’s hot. You two look really cute together you know? Like a real-life yaoi fanfiction.” She sighed dreamily.

Han Li buried his face in his hands and groaned. Reminder for himself: don’t befriend any more rabid fujoshis unless you want to suffer.

“We’re getting really off-topic here…”

“Oh right! So what were you saying again?”

Han Li took a deep breath. He needed to tell her before she thought about something else to veer the topic to so he made sure to include the details about Graham’s physical appearance. He mentioned the height, the lightly curled hair, and the sharp but beautiful eyes. And also the curves of his muscles and especially how perky his ass was.

Of course, he couldn’t really tell Simone about the whole operator thing, Simone was a normal person.

The normal population knew about the supernatural and the Hunter’s Association but they were not privy to the inner workings of the supernatural world. It was better that way, to keep the two separate. Some people refused to believe in the existence of the supernatural altogether.

But aside from that small omission, Han Li kept the story true. About the weird conversations about a drop-dead gorgeous stranger that spoke like he was from another planet. Or maybe from a different age. Likely both.

Simone looked like she was drooling and Han Li was beginning to wonder if she heard anything aside from the part about Graham’s ass being very round and very perky.

The likely answer was no, but he continued anyway, digging his grave. “And then he said it was too late so he wanted to talk about it later. Can you guess what time it was?” He wove his hands around dramatically.

Simone blinked at him and adjusted her glasses. “Oh, so he wants to see you again, huh?”

“It was 8 pm, Simone! He said it was late when it was only 8 pm! What kind of weirdo even does that?”

Simone just shrugged. “I get it, he’s weird. But so are you, Mr. Li Han—”

“Han Li.”

“I mean, he walked right into your apartment and you missed a perfect opportunity to get laid.”

“He’s not my type!” Han Li shrieked. He was ready to tear his hair out and sorely regretted telling her about his appearance.

“Are you sure about that? You said he was 6’5 and looked like some sort of supermodel or porn star. If that’s not level 99 simping then I don’t know what is, Mr. Li Han.”

“Now you’re just trying to piss me off on purpose,” Han Li deflated in defeat. “I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with me getting together with random dudes when I already told you who I like—”

“Your tastes are terrible. I can’t believe you like Kevin White of all people,” she sighed with disapproval, “But…I guess if you want his number I can help you get it.”

“No! Please don’t. He doesn’t need to know that I have questionable friends.”

“Questionable? I’m a great friend! And I’ll tell you what’s not questionable.”

He blinked at her. “What?”

“Your assassin pizza guy’s hotness because holy shit. If you don’t want him, can I have him, please?”

“What? What are you even talking about?”

“Isn’t that him?” Simone pointed out the window, where a sleek black sports car stood out against the more plain vehicles parked beside it.

Next to the car stood Graham Ass-ly himself, in all his dark, midnight sexy glory. Okay, Simone, you win on that one. He might not be Han Li’s type but even Han Li had to admit he was a whole snack.

…But why the fuck was he outside the coffee shop!? Attracting the stares and whispers from all around. Was that…an old lady asking for a photo to be taken? Was this person some sort of celebrity that Han Li wasn’t aware of?

“Hold up,” Han Li hissed through clenched teeth as he shot up from his seat and sprinted out the door.

“I’m coming too!” Simone eagerly followed.

Behind, the cashier watched them leave before turning to her colleague. “Did those guys pay?”

“…No.”