After another day of travel, the main road led them into the highs up and downs of the Alps. The way curved past steep cliff edges of grey stone, through narrow tunnels, only to reveal snow covered forests. The sun began to descend behind the peaks on the horizon, casting deep shadows into the valleys, and crowning the tops of the mountains in blazing gold. Here and there a quaint mountain town came in sight, the glow from the windows dotting the distance like strands of fairy lights.

Tristan put down the book he had been reading to Hibiki on the dashboard, and quietly looked out the car window. As the sun finally sank behind the jagged outline of the mountains, the dim orange light of nitrate lamps took over. It ruined some of the magic, but the rhythmic come and go of light added a certain calmth.

He glanced back towards Hibiki, who was focused on the road ahead: one hand was draped on the steering wheel, while the other shifted gears throughout the winding bends. It somehow eased him to look at Hibiki, seeing him so relaxed and completely in control of the vehicle. Maybe it was because he truly was a good driver, or perhaps because the high-end car made the turning smoother, but he felt very comfortable just being there alongside him.

Hibiki noticed that he was looking, and smirked slightly without ever turning away from the stretch of curved road ahead. He felt his cheeks heat up, realising that he had been caught ogling, and his gaze rapidly fell down to his lap. But rather than leave him like that, Hibiki reached for his hand. He let him take it, and felt the slight embarrassment settle into a warm, full feeling in his chest instead, as Hibiki slowly caressed the back of his hand with his thumb. At least until the next turn took him away again.

The dreamy alpine way eventually congested into a large, multilane toll gate, right before a large tunnel. Slowly they rolled into the mass of cars waiting to be let through.

"So after this we're in Switzerland?" Tristan asked, unable to hide the excitement he felt for that. He wasn't quite over the moon, but he was certainly eager to get there.

Hibiki nodded enthusiastically, and smiled brightly at him now he didn't have to pay attention to the road.

"I bet you have a hundred things planned for me." Tristan said, as he knew well enough how Hibiki operated. He watched as the latter's bright smile turned into a sly smirk, followed by a long gaze and impish lip biting. Even though he'd expected it, it still made him blush and avert his eyes.

"I meant… not all sexual." He clarified, mumbling slightly as his mind had been shaken by the intensity of that look – but not necessarily in a bad way.

Hibiki placed a hand on his neck, and pulled him in for a quick little kiss and a reassuring nod. Tristan smiled back, but sat upright immediately as he was aware someone in neighbouring cars could see them. Deep inside he felt a hint of frustration, not for anything Hibiki did as he knew that it was perfectly normal to kiss and be attracted to someone, but rather with himself for being so hesitant and uncomfortable. He didn't want to hide and be afraid of any public signs of affection, and he didn't want the part of him that loved Hibiki's eyes on him to be repressed by shame.

He let out a heavy sigh, which didn't go unnoticed by Hibiki. A concerned look was shot his way, but he quickly flashed a smile back to say it was nothing he'd done.

"It's fine, I'm just thinking."

His answer didn't quite satisfy Hibiki, who made a series of gestures: he made the universal sign for talking, then pressed two fingers against his chest to signify himself, after which he tapped his wrist where a watch would be and signed at the row of cars in front of them.

'Talk to me, we have time.'

Tristan laid his head back against the soft leather of the chair, and prepared to speak his mind. For a moment he remained quiet, as he formulated what he wanted to say.

"Well…" He started, forcing himself through the uncertainty. "I suppose I am just angry with myself for getting so nervous and anxious whenever you do anything remotely interested in me. I'm not a Catholic anymore, but it makes me realise I still have all those hang-ups."

He turned his head and gave a soft smile at Hibiki.

"I want to be able to smile, and show you how warm and loved I feel when you kiss me, even when others are around to see. And I want to be able to look back at you when you flirt, and be excited about it without feeling dirty about myself. I don't want my upbringing to interject itself in our relationship," he shook his head and sighed deeply again, but then glanced back at Hibiki, "I don't want all these bad, manipulative emotions to prevent you from loving me, or me from loving you."

It felt good to say it; to finally define the shame and hesitance he felt as something bad, something used to keep him under control and prevent him from doing what he truly wanted. As he spoke, he fully realised that this religious guilt wasn't anything good or divine preventing him from doing evil – but rather a mental barrier put in place by other people that didn't want him to do something, whether because they believed it was wrong or not. And now he could see both sides clearly, it was an obvious choice which was better for him.

Hibiki ran his hand along his cheek, and it felt gentle and caring. He smiled and did his very best to ease up; to stay calm and not let himself throw up any barriers around his heart. Instead there was a soft, warm glow, that made his breaths slow and deepen, and caused his heartbeats to intensify. It somehow ached in a good way, but he felt vulnerable too.

"Hey 'Biki?" He asked softly, as he made a second, more uncomfortable realisation. Hibiki nodded, and caressed his cheek even gentler. "Please be really careful with me? I,- I think I'd do anything just for you to love me. Or say you love me…"

It was hard to admit to himself that he was easy to manipulate, let alone to Hibiki, but at least he knew. And perhaps he would recognise it, and know on some level what was wrong – but he wasn't sure he wouldn't let himself be used if it meant he occasionally would be cared for.

For a moment Hibiki let go of the steering wheel, figuring that this was more important than their position in the line. Two hands were placed on his cheeks, holding him so he couldn't look away whilst Hibiki deeply and intently nodded. He smiled, and felt the immediate urge for his heart to leap to the other side and trust him with everything – but he forced himself not to, and his smile wavered slightly in favour of patience. Slowly he nodded back, with his heart still in place, but hoping that in due time he could fully trust without the fear of being abused.

He sighed out of relief and glanced out of the window for a moment to let things settle. A full, warm satisfaction spread over him instead, proud that he had finally identified what was going on. There was just one more thing he felt the need to say.

"I don't want you to be afraid of liking me either. So… from now on you can be yourself and,- approach me how you want. I know I get flustered, but with you that's because I like it."

Hibiki grinned at his words, reaching out and ruffling his hair excitedly to say he would. Only to promptly pull him in, so his head laid on his shoulder instead. 

Without hesitation a blush spread on his cheeks from the confident and somewhat possessive gesture, but his shoulder was warm and comfy, and he smiled as he realised he enjoyed being held with such certainty. It made him feel wanted.

He shifted a little, to make it easier to lay there. Once he was fully comfortable, he closed his eyes, allowing him to pretend there was nobody else – and if there was, that it wasn't such a big deal if they saw.