17 year old
Anthony wasn’t a morning person. He had never been a morning person and never would be a morning person. He preferred to sleep through mornings. He and his parents had arrived late last night at the resort, but he hadn't able to sleep at all. He felt like the nervous energy just radiated off of him in waves and had been tossing and turning in bed until he couldn’t take it anymore and went for one of his runs. Those runs had increased greatly in frequency the past year until he discovered weed. That seemed to take the edge off his anxiety and nerves better than anything else, but he didn’t have any access to that kind of thing here in France.
A Queen song was blaring through his headphones while he walked back to his room from his walk.
Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Someone tapped on his shoulder, he turned around and met two bright blue eyes.
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat
He fumbled with his headphones, the loud music fading when he pulled them back. He could hear the lyrics and the loud bass faintly from where the headphones settled around his neck. His lips twitched into an unwilling smile and he felt oddly exposed without his sunglasses.
“You’re here!” Aziraphale beamed at him.
“Yeah, we arrived last night,” Anthony grinned and wanted to run a hand through his hair, that reached his shoulders now, but realized that he tied it up in a half bun to keep it out of his face while running.
Behind them, someone made a coughing sound, the one that is definitely on purpose to remind others of their presence. A glance over Aziraphale’s shoulder showed his older brother Gabriel. Aziraphale’s face fell immediately and he stepped back. Anthony glared at him for a moment before looking back at his friend.
“I’m gonna, er, take a shower. See you at breakfast?”
Aziraphale looked over his shoulder to his brother, who had a stern and impatient look on his face. “Perhaps.” With those words, he turned and left.
How do you think I'm going to get along
Without you when you're gone?
Anthony stared at them with a dumbfounded look on his face, feeling something painful inside him twitch.
“Shush!” Aziraphale nudged him with his elbow.
They sat in a dark room on the slightly uncomfortable red chairs of the planetarium. Above them, a video showed a slowly rotating image of the universe projected against a round screen on the ceiling. A woman spoke in French and Aziraphale listened intently. Anthony didn’t speak any French at all but still stopped his nervous babbling so they could listen.
He was still intrigued by just looking at the images of the universe, the stars and the planets above them. He went to the planetarium in Brighton with school and liked it so much that when he heard the resort had a raft battle in the pool and you could win tickets for the planetarium, he had pestered Aziraphale until he gave in to join him.
They hadn’t spent a lot of time together since Anthony arrived in France; Aziraphale was off doing things or would just prefer to lounge with a book at the pool. Anthony’s parents dropped them off at the planetarium and he was glad that their families were not around right now. He had a feeling that Aziraphale's family was part of the reason why they weren’t spending as much time together as before.
He vaguely remembered the conversation he had with his parents on the last night of last year's holiday and how they warned him not to cross certain lines. Anthony was very good at ignoring and avoiding his parents and that’s what he did the rest of the year.
Anthony slouched in the red chair and placed his hand on the armrest between them. He kept glancing over to the boy next to him, but he seemed to be way too engrossed in the show. He wiggled his fingers, nothing happened. Right now he was pretty sure that he totally misjudged their hand holding last time.
His heart skipped a beat when Aziraphale shifted his arm and moved it next to his. Now both of their arms were located on the armrest, pressed against each other. He felt like his eyes were almost bulging out of his head when he looked at it, their hands so close together. Aziraphale still gazed up to the screen and seemed to pretend once again that nothing was going on.
The lights turned back on and the show was over. Aziraphale suddenly snatched his arm back and Anthony pushed the sunglasses from his hair back over his eyes. He cleared his throat awkwardly and was pretty sure that Aziraphale just wanted to use the armrest that Anthony was hogging and it didn’t mean what he wanted it to mean.
Aziraphale glanced at his watch. “Your parents are gonna be here soon, shall we go to the exit?”
“Er. Yeah. Let’s go.”
They walked slowly towards the exit, Anthony with his hands stuffed in his pockets and Aziraphale translating some things that voice-over had said during the show while talking excitedly about it. They passed a little café that was part of the planetarium and Anthony treated Aziraphale on an éclair while getting himself a bottle of soda.
“My treat,” he said when he paid before Aziraphale could.
“Oh, really?” Aziraphale beamed a smile that was still as bright as when he was a ten-year-old. “Thank you. Also for asking me to go with you. I’ve never been before.”
Anthony waved it away with his hands and they went outside to sit on a bench where they waited for his parents to show up. He stretched his long legs as Aziraphale sat straight up and eating his éclair
Anthony blew a hot breath over Aziraphale’s ear and through his blonde curls. It startled the other boy, who let out a high-pitched sound and looked up from his book. Anthony saw him sitting on a couch in the dimly lit lobby when he returned from his late-night run and couldn’t help himself.
“Oh, it’s you,” he sighed relieved.
“Shouldn’t you be asleep?”
Aziraphale smiled feebly. “Couldn’t sleep. I like to read when I can’t sleep and I didn’t want to wake anyone up. What about you? Where did you come from?”
Anthony smirked, he was dressed in his running shorts and wasn’t wearing his sunglasses. With a bit of practised drama, he flopped next to Aziraphale on the couch, who closed his book with a marker in between the pages.
“I went on a run.”
“I never met someone who likes to run around as much as I like to sit down and read.”
“We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” he grinned. “What are you reading?”
“Nothing special.” He placed his hand protectively over the cover of the book and moved it away from Anthony. “Just some novel, you know.”
“No, I don’t know. Lemme see that.” While talking, Anthony quickly reached for the book and slipped it from Aziraphale’s grabbing fingers. He moved out of his reach on purpose. “Pride and Prejudice?” He opened the book on the first page and read the first sentence. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. ”
“Anthony, give it back,” Aziraphale groaned with red cheeks.
Anthony wrinkled his nose. “A wife? You should try dating first, angel.”
Aziraphale huffed and tried to reach the book, pushing his body against him and stretching out his arms, but still couldn’t reach it. Anthony laughed and waved the book teasingly, his arms were just a tad bit longer than Aziraphale’s.
He leaned over the armrest to keep it even further out of reach and Aziraphale lifted himself slightly from the couch. Before they knew it, Anthony lost his balance, grabbed Aziraphale's shirt in an attempt to keep his balance but they both tumbled over the armrest. The book thumped on the floor and slid away from them.
There was a silence that was only disturbed by the ragged and surprised breathing of the two boys. Anthony had managed to land on top of Aziraphale, their faces mere inches away from each other. Aziraphale stared at him with his eyes wide open, his lips slightly parted.
Without thinking, Anthony leaned in and pressed his lips against Aziraphale's. A second passed before Aziraphale seemed to be leaning slightly into the kiss before he broke it off. Panic suddenly seized Anthony, he pulled back and scrambled to his feet.
“I’m ssso sorry, I didn’t mean -”
The hiss slipped through and he wished he had his sunglasses to cover his eyes right now. He looked everywhere but Aziraphale, who sat up feeling stunned. He felt like such an idiot for kissing his best friend. Before he could make a bigger fool out of himself, he turned around and almost ran into the stairwell.
Anthony was pacing nervously through the clearing. He didn’t know if Aziraphale would show up. It was their last day in France once again and they made a deal. He screwed up so badly last night that he didn’t know if he still wanted to come.
He had shoved a note under the door of his family’s suite, but he knew that if Gabriel intercepted it, he would never give it to his brother. He checked his watch, he had to go back in an hour to catch the shuttle to the airport.
When he heard something rustling, he tried to act like he wasn’t nervous at all. Aziraphale did seem nervous, he looked over his shoulder while walking towards Anthony, who took a few slow steps in his general direction.
“Anthony,” he greeted while he played with the ring on his pinky finger.
“Aziraphale, you came.”
Aziraphale smiled wryly, a warm summer breeze blew gently through his curls. The world seemed to be rustling around them, thick with anticipation. Anthony swallowed, his heart beating loudly and he was sure that the other boy could hear it.
“I’m so sorry that I left last night,” he apologized because he suddenly couldn’t remember what he wanted to say. He stepped forward and grabbed Aziraphale’s hand with his two hands. Aziraphale didn’t pull his hand back but looked very pained. “Please tell me you-”
“We can’t, Anthony,” he fretted, withdrawing his hand now. “You know we can’t.”
Anthony turned around and walked away, only to turn back after a few steps. “Why would we care? We could go off together!” He said it in an impulse, didn’t mean to say it, but he wanted to. Away from their parents and everyone who disapproved, creating their own side, their own lives.
“Go off together?” Aziraphale repeated him incredulously. “Listen to yourself.”
“How long have we’ve been friends, hm? 7 years!”
“Friends? We would’ve never been friends if we met anywhere else. We don’t go together, we’re too different. We have nothing whatsoever in common!” Now it was his turn to walk away and stop to turn and pace back to Anthony. “I’m not even gay, Anthony. I'm not like you. It’s over!” He sounded like he was choking up.
Anthony opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. “Right,” he eventually said, feeling like someone crushed all the air out of his lungs. “Well then….” He started to walk away again. “Have a nice flight back!” He called over his shoulder, before disappearing between the trees and leaving Aziraphale behind while choking back tears.
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