It grew silent for what felt like a million years. 

I knew the idea was stupid! Why would he want that? I thought maybe it’d be a nice experience to just chat and drink some--wait he went to rehab so no alcohol! I love water so water is good too. Wait, no, the whole idea is dumb. 

“Let’s just for-” I was about to take back my words and opt for a better plan but I was interrupted. 

“That sounds nice!” Dylan beamed at my idea. “Sorry it took me a moment to process what you said.” He huffed out a nervous laugh.

I felt a bit more at ease. “I thought you might think it was a stupid idea.” I found myself scratching the back of my neck out of habit. 

He hummed in response, taking a moment to collect his words. I could see the gears turning. “I was just trying to remember the last time we went “camping,” he formed air quotes, “and I think it was 9th grade. It’s been like 12 years! That’s crazy.” The blond creased his features into a half smile. It was somber looking. 

“Well I suppose we have to get 12 years worth of camping moments then!” I didn’t want our conversation to turn sour. I wanted to avoid it always ending in us discussing painful times we can’t undo. Unless of course he wanted to, then obviously I’d be open to it. 

Dylan licked his lips and then smiled once more. “Yeah of course. That sounds wonderful.” 

Changing the conversation I asked, “So you work at an office I hear. Do you like it?” I also started to wonder where Stef was with my damn coffee. 

“It’s alright. Not exactly what I’d call ideal but it pays the bills. How about you? Any big job lined up for you?” He took his gaze and moved it towards his folded hands on the table. 

I sighed almost immediately in response while shaking my head. 

He shifted his eyes back onto me. “That bad, huh?” Dylan gave a lopsided smile. 

“Florida is a very competitive job market. I interned a lot and worked plenty of part-time jobs but never landed a golden opportunity.” I shrugged. It was irritating but I was used to it by now. I didn’t want this to end with me complaining so I slightly shifted the conversation once more. “It’s not all bad though. I’ve gained a lot of experience and with my business management degree, I want to open my own business.”

In high school I had always dreamed of opening up my own place. The Brew was a huge inspiration for my dream. I loved the atmosphere and the familiarity. Knowing all the regulars and meeting new people. 

Dylan’s face lit up with amusement. “Really?!” He questioned enthusiastically. “What kind of business?”

“I don’t really know?” I was embarrassed to admit in my youth I saw Dylan and myself selling his artwork in a shop I’d manage. It was a childish dream and clearly not realistic, but despite it, my heart deep down still held onto the thought. I found myself bubbling out a laugh. “Maybe we’ll sell your art, yeah?” My teeth showed while I smiled. 

Dylan was shocked at the suggestion even if it was a joke. He returned the same chuckle, “oh yeah? I have been painting more in the last few years, but no one would want to buy them.” His smile dimmed. 

“I bet you I’d buy one!” I immediately said. I couldn’t stand that sad smile! “I bet they’re beautiful, you were always gifted at art.” 

“Oh god Dylan stop. You’re embarrassing.” He fumbled as he cracked his knuckles. I noticed a small flush under his eyes.

“Nah I don’t think I will,” I winked while clicking my tongue. “But seriously, I have no idea what I’d do. I’m kind of lost right now, so I’m taking this summer to really figure it out.” 

The curly blond moved his eyes from our conversation and shifted it out the window. “I hope you find what you’re looking for while you’re here.” There was a tone of bitterness as he spoke but quickly recovered it with a smile. He looked at me again with those big green eyes. “Speaking of summer and finding yourself, what time did you want me over tonight?”

Clearing my throat, I noticed Stef still hadn’t brought me my coffee. Damn bastard. 

“Up to you. If you want to be over for dinner, then 6pm. If not, any time after 7pm works.”

“You can cook?!” He made an exaggerated gasping noise. 

Shaking my head I laughed out, “oh fuck off, yeah I can cook. I’m quite good actually! Not as good as my mom, but decent.”

“Well I think I need to be the one to test that. I’ll be over at 6pm.” Grinning widely, he began to stand up. “I have some errands I need to run, but see you later No.” 

“Yeah! I’ll show you! See ya Dyl.” I placed my hand up to wave. He waved back and made his way out of The Brew.

Only after Dylan left, did Stef stealthily slip into the chair in front of me with what I presumed was my coffee. “Here’s your joe,.” He nonchalantly placed the cup in front of me with that same damn smile he expressed the other day. 

“What took you so long dude?” I asked before taking a well needed sip from the mug. 

His gapped teeth showed as he grinned widely. “I didn’t want to interrupt,” he shrugged, leaning back in the chair with his arms crossed. 

I scowled at him, “Stef why do you keep giving me this look? If you have something to say, then just say it!”

He gruffed out a low, deep, and mischievous laugh. “Nothing dude, calm down.”

Rolling my eyes, I took another sip of my drink. 

“I’m just happy to see Dylan come back to life a little. I haven’t seen him smile and laugh like that in a long time. I can tell he’s really trying. He’s attempting to forgive you and develop something new, ya know? It’s not going to be easy No, but I hope you have patience.” His smile slipped into a grimace. “I have something I’ve been meaning to say. Noah I was there that night. I don’t think you remember me being around the campfire, but I was.”

I was speechless at the bombardment of information. My face must have said it all because Stef gave me a pity smile. I grew more curious.

“You left before you could hear what we’d say, correct?” He paused to clear his throat. “Let’s just say, I reacted very irrationally and kind of, sort of, punched Dylan in the face? He was pretty drunk, but when my fist made contact with his face, he sobered up real quick.” He chuckled to himself. “I told him that he shouldn’t say things like that and basically said he was being a homophobic piece of shit. Your reaction told me everything I needed to know. I’d be hurt too if I heard my best friend say that about me if I were gay or anything that wasn’t straight.” Stef leaned forward on the table, propping his elbows up. 

I had my lips parted, trying to find the words, but my throat was swollen shut. 

“He was such a fucking asshole Noah, and I apologize for never reaching out to you after the fact. I hadn’t expected you to cut off this whole town and its people.” His brown eyes glistened as if to show complete sincerity. “Dyl isn’t the same person. Not even close. Leo told me that he let it slip about Dylan going to rehab and having dropped out of college. It’s not my story to tell, so I won’t share it. However, I’ll tell you right now he’s been through Hell trying to reassemble his life and he’s doing a pretty good fucking job.” I could tell Stef was getting a bit worked up. “I just ask you this, please try and see him for who he is now and not for who he used to be.”

Stef was right about that--Dylan was drastically different. It was as if that guard he had around his feelings and his true self, had been disarmed. 

A small smile tugged at my lips. “Thank you Stef, but don’t apologize. I appreciate it, and I definitely appreciate you not outing me or telling Dylan as a defense on my part.” The blond across from me fidgeted as I spoke. “Everyone keeps telling me how he’s changed, and I see it. I really do, but that doesn’t automatically make the past not exist. Yes, I am actively trying too just as Dylan is. I am too trying to move on. Honestly Stef, being back and only having those tiny interactions thus far, has taken me back in time. It has reminded me how much I’ve missed him.” My cheeks warmed up at my own confession. 

He stopped nervously moving and smiled warmly. “He’s missed you too No. More than you could ever know.” Stef started to slip out from the seat. “I wish you guys the best,” he winked. “His favorite dish at the moment is any kind of Asian dish.”

My cheeks still burned, “you were eavesdropping??” 

He took his thumb and pointer finger together to make a hand gesture, “just a little bit.” The cocky owner stuck out his tongue. 

“Well thanks for the suggestion. I know some good dishes for that.”

“No problem. Well, I need to get back to work. See you tomorrow morning for coffee?” He ended the last sentence in the form of a question. I nodded in response with a smirk plastered on my face. 

He began to walk away but I called his name. 

“Yea?”

“Thank you Stef for looking out for Dylan. I’ll be sure to not disappoint you.” I meant it.

To think I dreaded coming here, but now I’m cooking for the very man I was desperately trying to avoid. And I was ecstatic about it!

He just answered with a genuine grin and headed back to behind the counter. 

It wasn’t long before I finished my coffee and headed back to my parent’s house. They had already left for Cape Cod for the weekend. My parents had some long-term friends they visited every summer. This was the only reason I even invited Dylan over; I wasn't ready for my parents to know about my decision to try out this friendship again. I know they’d accept it with time, but my mom would be extremely apprehensive at first. I also wanted to figure out myself with Dylan before I made that choice. 

For right now, I was going to shop for ingredients to make okonomiyaki* for dinner. Stacie’s wife, Lilian, was half Japanese on her mom’s side. While being over for meals, I had come to learn about many different cuisines from her. I loved cooking and learning new dishes all the time!

Lilian was a wonderful, brilliant, and beautiful woman. I couldn’t picture anyone else besides her to be with my best friend. Stace was so fortunate enough to have such a strong-willed partner to keep the motivation running. I didn’t know how she did it. Lilian’s parents didn’t approve of her lifestyle, but eventually grew complacent when they realized Stacie wasn’t going anywhere. They weren’t bad people, just in a different generation. Her mom especially was learning to accept her daughter. She even tried to learn a few Spanish words to try and impress Stacie--who thought it was cute. 

It reminded me of how lucky I was to have my parents. There was never a trial period where I thought I might lose them. There was never any angry crying or denial of my existence. They just smiled and told me they were proud of me.

Hours passed and soon it was already 5:34pm. Stacie out of the blue rang me and I answered. 

“Hey Stace, what’s up?” I instantly grew worried because my best friend never calls me without notice at this time of day.