Dylan’s warm smile of comfort was such a nice sight to witness. I was reminded at that moment exactly how much he’d changed in the last decade. Whenever there was a smile, it never felt like this. We joked and laughed all the time, but was it ever real? This grin I’m seeing right now isn’t one I’ve ever seen. It was hard to explain. I found that overthinking was pointless. Enjoy the moments instead of comparing. 

I noticed his smile waiver as he parted his lips.

“But uh,” Dylan mumbled, “I just want to put this out there too. I’m not homophobic, I was just self projecting when I was a teenager. I had been in a lot of mental turmoil with my parents’ divorce, puberty, school, etc. I didn’t mean what I said at all. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be open with me about your sexuality. I’m 100% okay with it and it doesn’t gross me out or make me uncomfortable. I promise that on my life.” He was very stern in the last sentence. 

I smiled wide at his words. Although I couldn’t take back the 8 years of pain and resentment I had towards Dylan, I felt like I could relish in these turns of events. I was happy that he accepted me. 8 years too late? Maybe. But now we had the whole summer to reevaluate our morals and friendship. 

“Thank you Dyl. I really appreciate that.” My eyes were gently peering into his thoughtful gaze. 

“I was a real piece of work back in the day. Much like now, you said you were vindictive but I was straight reckless. I didn’t regard others or even myself really, I did and said whatever even if I didn’t mean it. I’ve been really working on myself the past few years. So when I tell you I’m sorry for making you think you had to leave and never speak to me again, I fucking mean it No. I truly am sorry. “ He was so genuine when he apologized again to me. 

“Honestly, you’re so different from how I last saw you that I believe you. I believe that you weren’t in the best state of mind back then and I believe now that you’re even better than before.” I continued to smile at him while cutting up my cinnamon roll. 

Dylan took a sip of his coffee and glanced at me curiously. “Yeah?” 

I hummed, “Don't worry, it’s a good thing! You’re definitely a lot more easy going. I’m just very taken aback with the change but it doesn’t mean it’s bad. I like it.” I stabbed my cinnamon roll that I cut up and took a bite. 

Dylan’s cheeks turned a shade of pink at my compliment. It made me grin wide with a mouth full of food. So he’s easily embarrassed by compliments now? Back in the day he’d hit me and tell me to fuck off. 

Quickly swallowing, I rang in to say, “I’m looking forward to hanging out with this new Dylan. Seems like a swell guy. Even has cute glasses and longer hair now. Total librarian vibes.” I teased with a smirk. 

His cheeks continued to burn under my words. He shot me a glare, “alright Casanova, quit your flirting or I'll beat the shit out of you.” 

I was in the middle of sipping my coffee when he did this. So, evidently I started to choke. In between heaves I was in hysterics. 

This puppy dog looking man just threatened me and I can’t help but laugh. 

I coughed, “Oh babe I’m terrified.” I cackled. 

“Fuck off.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared at me. 

Calming down I realized he was actually a bit annoyed. “I’m sorry for being obnoxious. But you really do look cute.” I wasn’t lying ! He was even more of a catch 8 years later. 

“It just sounds patronizing. I’m not a confident person, never was. Only pretended to be.” He glanced down at his coffee, moving his hands to grip the cup tightly. 

This was the real person underneath all the spat and the sarcastic banter. This was the guy who would tell you off for some things and would hide his pain with a smile. He was the person that would always say he was fine and I, his previously loyal best friend, just swam in ignorance. Perhaps I was blinded by love and wanted everything to be okay. I ignored the negativity. I wasn’t the best person in those moments, but maybe I could be now? I doubt he’d even want that.

“Hey,” I whispered softly to gain back Dylan’s attention. His sad green eyes looked up at me. “I’m sorry if I came off as patronizing, I wasn’t trying to be. I’m being sincere.” My face formed a reassuring smile. 

“I’m sorry. I’m just rather temperamental? I like to joke around but not when it comes to my appearance. I don’t take compliments well. I view them as jokes, not with sincerity. Especially from you since we’re not particularly close.” His eyes were cold when he spoke. 

“Oh,” I was shocked by his upfront nature. “That’s fair.” I just continued to eat my sweet pastry in silence. 

Suddenly Dylan hissed from across the table and I shot up to watch him cup his face with his hands. Through the mumbles I heard, “I’m sorry No. I didn’t mean to come off so abrasive. It’s just—“ His hands dropped to his lap; the emerald orbs bore into me. “I am not the same Dylan you knew. I’m more honest with my feelings and I’m a bit sensitive. I have always been sensitive but when I was a kid I shooed the concept away to be ‘manly’ which is just stupid.” He chuckled pitifully. 

It was such a strange thing to experience. I didn’t feel like I was myself in this cafe. I felt like I was watching myself in a movie. I’m not sure where all my anger went that I harbored for literally almost a decade, but looking into this man’s sad eyes, I just couldn’t hold a grudge anymore. Sure the memory still stung—and it would for a long time, probably? It’s like staying mad at your kid for doing something bad: in the moment you’re furious and punish them, but as time passes you see that they’re remorseful. A lesson learned.  

Why did it take me so long to have known he learned the lesson? Dylan looked miserable right now. Why didn’t I just pick up my damn phone and call home to ask for his number? Why did I take so fucking long to speak with him? 

I could feel myself growing more upset by the second in this situation. I was frustrated with myself. This man was a stranger now and I hated that. I despise that he feels the need to explain himself for being upset with me. He doesn’t have to explain anything to me. It’s not my right to know jack shit. 

I took a deep breath and blew air out through my nose.  I was trying to calm down. “There’s nothing to apologize for Dylan. If we’re going to be friends again, I’ll have to get to know the true you, yeah? I don’t see anything wrong with being honest to others and yourself. No worries, alright?” I gave him a convincing toothy grin. 

The blond gave me a crooked half smile. “Yeah. Okay. That’s good to hear.” It seemed like when he exhaled, he was relieved. 

We sat in a new comforting silence while we both ate and drank our refreshments. I took the time to glance out the window. The clouds were getting more ominous looking by the second. I need to get home before it starts to pour. 

I cleared my throat to indicate I was going to start talking again. “So it looks like it’s going to storm. I walked here so I should probably get back soon.” I purposely avoided eye contact. I didn’t want him to know I was a bit sad to be leaving. 

“Well uh,” he started, “If you feel comfortable with it, I could give you a lift.” Dylan offered nervously. 

This unexpected suggestion had me snap my eyes onto his. It didn’t escape my eyes that I saw him grinning. It made me smile too. “Are you sure? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 

“I don’t say things I don’t mean No.” He replied instantly.

I observed him for a second. It was apparent to anyone that he was being truthful.

I hummed, “Well, if it’s not a hassle then I’ll take your offer.” 

Dylan smiled warmly at the acceptance. “I’ll get Stef and then we can go.” 

Chuckling, I mentioned, “If you’re trying to be slick and pay for the meal, I’m one step ahead of you.” When I came in early I had given Stef $20 to cover the bill and then some.