We're playing one of our regular chess games, but I'm more staring at Emilio and some faint scars of acne on his face than actually thinking about my next move. I've already lost quite a few of my pieces, which is very unusual for me.

It's been about a week since Ramiro's birthday party and since then we've seen each other and spoken a few times. There have been odd silences, both on the phone and face to face, as if I'm not the only one leaving things unsaid, and when we're together, I can't keep myself from drinking his appearance in and taking mental photos of every little detail, and I've already been caught staring more than once, but each time Emilio winks or smiles and he has adopted a slightly seductive sway with his hips when he knows I'm watching, as if he's aware of all this attraction I suddenly feel towards him. And every opportunity he has, he brushes against me or touches me in any way and I can't recall he did that as much in the past, but maybe I'm just more on edge because of my realisation and my mind is playing tricks on me. The worst, however, are the soft and affectionate words, the pet names – he never calls me Abel anymore; it's always honey, baby, sweetheart or the like – and the incessant flirting. The line between our banter and flirting could be thin, so it's natural he continues it, but it hurts that it doesn't mean any more to him than it used to: just teasing banter.

"Hey, baby? Are you okay?" Emilio mutters. The 'baby' warms and stabs my heart at the same time. "You look like you're not thinking about chess anymore."

I shrug. "I'm sorry. Give me one more minute to make my move."

"Or we could just stop. You're clearly not up to par today, so maybe a swim will put you in better spirits and calm that racing mind of yours for a bit." I nod. Maybe it will.

That being said, we head out with our swimming gear – I borrow some from Emilio – and take the bus to the pool. It's quite a sunny day for the end of April and we're clearly not the only ones who decided to enjoy a bit of water. When we enter the area with the changing rooms, Emilio grabs my wrist.

"Come on, we'll share one." He glances back at me. "You wouldn't deny me to see that delectable body of yours because of some sudden shyness, would you, babe? It's not like I haven't seen it all before and you have never minded then." His nonchalant compliment has me blushing so hard that I don't get embarrassed about the rest of his words.

Emilio starts undressing immediately, not bothered at all by the small space that encloses us. I don't want to raise any more questions, so I pull my shirt over my head, painfully aware of Emilio's proximity. When his arm and hand brush my back twice, I have to concentrate on my breathing to appear unaffected.

Luckily, I can get out without any incidents. We start swimming laps and when I'm tired, I jump at the chance to watch him while it's not weird. His legs are really nice and definitely put my spindle legs to shame.

Emilio pops out of the water right in front of me. "Hey sweetheart, do you want to go to the hot water pool to relax or something? I don't want you sitting here and getting bored."

"It's okay. I don't mind watching you."

"Oh, do you?" His grin widens and I can't keep the deep blush at bay. He twirls around, though not all too elegantly. "Do you like the view, baby? Does my ass look good in these swimming briefs?" I want to give some witty remark like I would have done before my realisation, but all the words get stuck in my tightening stomach. "What? Cat got your tongue?"

I bite back a groan of frustration because my feelings reduce me to this mess and get up. "Let's just go. I'm not in the mood to deal with your shit." I walk in the direction of the hot water pool. Emilio hurries after me and his hand lands on my shoulder.

"Are you mad now? I was just teasing. I'm sorry if I was annoying you."

I smile. "You're always annoying me, but I know you didn't mean any harm. I'm just out of it today. Not your fault."

"Okay." Emilio keeps his hand on my shoulder and steers me to a seat in the corner of the pool. "Would you fancy a shoulder massage?"

I hesitate. This is not really the appropriate place to get aroused by his hands on my naked skin. I shake my head. "Another time. I just want to rest." I close my eyes and lean back. The tiles aren't the best headrest, but I just want those butterflies in my head to calm the fùck down, even though that's highly unlikely with Emilio right next to me.

Time passes and I'm slowly relaxing, thanks to the hum of chatter and the gentle lapping of the warm water. Some time later, I open my eyes, only to realise my head is lying on Emilio's shoulder. He doesn't seem to mind and I close my eyes again, swaying along with the slight movements of his breath. I feel a puff of air on my temple and then his hand on my knee. It's not sexual or flirting at all, but more of a calming and affectionate gesture. He squeezes and his thumb rubs circles. It gets me thinking if there is more to his flirting than I thought. Perhaps I'm not imagining things and he does flirt more than he used to. And I'm sure his excessive use of pet names is new. And the fact that he caught my stares, means he was looking at me as well, doesn't it? Could it be that ... ? I barely dare to believe the possibility. I'm probably seeing things because I want there to be proof that he reciprocates my feelings, anything to give me hope. Why did I have to fall in love with a twink? Being gay already narrows the options, but defying the expectations and stereotypes of the gay community itself, is like dooming myself to suffer from unrequited love. Nevertheless, you never know. I'll have to wait for the right moment to ask Emilio.

***

When Emilio locks the door of the changing rooms, the tension rushes back, but less intense than before. I grab my towel and turn around to give the other one to Emilio, but he's looking at me as if ... I don't even know what kind of look it is, but it makes me shiver and my mouth feels incredibly dry all of a sudden. I lick my lips. Emilio snaps out of his stupor and he steps closer. He holds my gaze and I'm brewing with anticipation. When he leans forward, I don't hesitate to do the same and we kiss, though not exactly in the middle and I need to shuffle closer in order to be comfortable. He puts his hands on my shoulders and I put mine tentatively on his waist. I thought Emilio would be a hungry and passionate kisser, but this one is definitely rather soft and loving and I'm surprised I'm not yet a melted puddle on the floor.

He's the one to break it off, his right hand still caressing my shoulder blade and upper arm. "I've been wishing to do that for weeks now."

"Really? I only realised my feelings at Ramiro's party, when you said I tasted exquisite."

"You do taste exquisite. A bit like chlorine at the moment, but still ..." I laugh softly at his cheekiness and swat at his ass with the towels I still hold in my hands.

After that we dry off and when we walk out of the building, I reach for his hand. Emilio entwines his fingers with mine, shooting me a beaming smile that keeps buzzing in my chest.

"I guess we'll have to thank Ramiro for setting us up", he muses. "I have no doubt this can go places."

I look at him out of the corner of my eye and squeeze his hand. "I guess so."