I slowly walked closer and closer to the edge of the sheer cliff overlooking the water, looking out I took a deep breath, smelling the salty air. I sat down, legs dangling over the edge. From here I have a perfect view of the jagged rocks and small strip of sand below, and of course the ocean beyond. I love coming here, listening to the waves crash against the shore, foaming up along the edges. Watching the gulls fly around above me, free as the wind.
The slight breeze coming off the water made me shiver a little, but that's alright. I don't mind the cold, the slight numb feeling that comes with it. I closed my eyes and focused on the frigid air blowing around me, enveloping me in a blanket of numbness. I imagined I was flying way up in the sky with the gulls, not a care in world and free as could be. How wonderful. I stretched my arms out to my sides like wings, wondering what it must feel like to be that free. How amazing it must feel to be able to fly away whenever you feel like it, never having to answer to anyone but yourself. If I could fly, I would take off and never come down, exploring somewhere new every day. I can only guess at how different the world must seem from up there. Like an entirely different place, a whole other universe to get lost in.
I opened my eyes and looked out to the ocean, to all the stars being reflected in the water. Its incredible how fascinated the world seems to be with the stars and worlds beyond, when there's a whole world right here, right below our feet that we know practically nothing about.
I suppose not everyone would see things the way I do. I know far too many people who would love the freedom of flight as much as I would, but for all the wrong reasons. After all people are solitary, nasty, and brutish creatures easily swayed by bitter concepts.
I'm sure if they could fly, they would love being able to look down on others. Being able to gloat about something else they had, that others didn't. I'm positive they would miss all the amazing things they could see and do, and not even care. But not me. I could never not care.
Aaaargh I'm thinking too much again. Looking for I-don't-even-know-what where there's nothing to find.
I should stop flexing my brain muscle so much before it snaps for good, or I get an aneurysm, whichever comes first. Seriously I'm not built for it, I'm not an intellect in the slightest, thinking never brings me anything good. But I can't help it. I can't help but be fascinated by little things and try to find some meaning in them. I find myself fascinated by everything, big or small. I want to break the mold and be like no one else. I want to see the world in a way no one else could, without bias or judgment, nothing clouding my sight. Simply put, I want to understand the world for what it is, not what I want it to be. Maybe being lonely would be easier that way.
Or maybe I just have nothing better to do. That's a possibility too.
I stood up, about to go back to the foster home, when I saw someone spinning around on the beach (just a sad little strip of sand really) with a stick in their hand. I made my way around the side of the cliff, down the steps on the edge. Taking a closer look, I could see that the someone is a girl. A pretty one too, it seems.
I was still far enough as to not be immediately spotted. She had long caramel colored hair that glinted in the moonlight as she spun around, and a slim but strong build. Like she didn't get much to eat but still went out and did things all day.
I kept staring from the end of the beach, near the rocks, wondering what she was doing. Dancing maybe? But why the stick?
She spun a few more times, stick swinging about, before she turned my way and froze. I started to walk towards her.
"Hey th-"
She tensed up all at once and stuck her stick out in front of her like a sword. I stopped and put my hands up in sign of peace.
"What do you want? How long have you been standing there?"
"Sorry about that, didn't mean to startle you"
"Well you did. What do you want?"
"Nothing. I was just on the cliff-" I pointed to the top of the wall of rocks beside us "- up there, when I saw you dancing around. It surprised me, I never see other people down here."
When I mentioned her she turned bright red and made a face I couldn't read.
"I wasn't dancing! ... and no one was supposed to see that.." she mumbled the last part so I could barely hear.
"What were you doing then? Because from where I was standing it sure looked like dancing. Not very good dancing I'll admit, but still dancing."
She puffed out her cheeks and stomped her way over to me, stick still out in front her, being flailed about as she spoke.
"Hey! I'm a great dancer I'll have you know! But I wasn't dancing so that's irrelevant. I was sword fighting."
Well that explains the stick and her stance at least. I tilted my head to the side, a half grin forming in my face.
"Pfft you're telling me that flailing tornado of a performance was supposed to be sword fighting?? Which, by the way, is actually called fencing."
She squinted her eyes and pursed her lips, and did something I didn't expect. She whacked me in the arm with her stick. Twice. Hard. Then crossed her arms over her chest with an annoyed look.
"Shut up okay. I don't actually know how to sword fight alright. I was having fun. But that's none of your business! What were you doing up there (the cliff) anyways?"
"Oh uh, well, you see, um, it's kind of my uh, personal spot. To take a breather."
She gave me a skeptical look, one eyebrow raised.
"Breather??"
I was squirming inside. Gosh this is embarrassing.
"Uh, yeah. Like, from life. I promise I wasn't spying or anything. I come here to forget about my problems for a bit heh"
She gave me once over and relaxed her stance a bit, putting one hand on her hip, the other using her stick as a cane.
"Fine. You don't look too harmless. I mean look at you, all skin and bones. You're like a lanky skeleton,-" I just gave her a blank stare that spoke volumes to my annoyance "- not exactly a threat. I'm still keeping an eye on you but just remember I can probably take your scrawny butt, got it?" She had lifted her cane/sword to my nose as she asked the question.
"I'm going to go ahead and ignore how everything you just said could be an insult. Take your stick out if my face and I promise to behave."
She gave me another once over with a suspicious look. Finally she lowered her stick and stuck out her hand with a huff, almost reluctantly.
"I still don't trust you, but I don't trust anyone so you'll get used to it. My name's Emily, by the way."
I took her hand with a grin. She smirked back.
"Nice to meet you Emily, I'm-"
Awake. I'm awake. I'm awake and I can't remember something. I remember the smell of the ocean. I remember gulls, and a crushing loneliness and a girl with a stick.
I wonder who she was.
Oh well. It was just a dream right?
I sit up in my bunk and look down to see Dipp chewing on my hand, and remember a whole other set of problems I have to handle. Sigh.
"Alright Dipp come on, we have things to do today"
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