“As I was saying,” Thesis began, “I was a psychology professor. I put years of work into teaching intolerable students the inner workings of the human mind.”
“Tell her the part about you getting fired for being a quack!” Agony interrupted.
“I am not a quack! And I was getting to that!” Thesis said, and sighed loud and long. “The university refused to allow me to present my students with the groundbreaking results of my studies-”
“You mean the shit you dreamed up in the shower?” Agony shot.
“Agony, it is rude to interrupt! Especially for a woman! And Especially when she is interrupting a man!” Duenna said.
“See, that’s your opinion.” Motif said, “In my opinion, it’s absolutely tops! Don’t you agree, Sequel?” Sequel said nothing.
“See? He knows what I’m talking about!” Motif smiled pathetically.
“Back to the topic at hand,” Thesis gritted his teeth, “ The University found out that I was imparting my self-made wisdom unto the students without permission, and my position was terminated.” Thesis explained and then glanced at Agony, he opened his eyes wide and threw up jazz hands “And then the world ended!” He imitated.
“Hey! Get your own ending!” Agony snapped.
“It is a bit repetitive.” Said Ruby.
“I warned you!” Motif said to Ruby and tugged at his collar comedically. “Personally, I think that-”
“You don’t need to throw up your opinion about everything.” Agony snapped.
“Hey! Testy! I was on your side!” Motif said.
“Must you always pick a side?” Duenna asked with her usual head shake.
“He picks a side so that he may experience a sense of allegiance and in that allegiance find what-”
“Fuck off with the theories, Thesis!” said Agony, “The university said you were full of shit, your students said you were full of shit, we tell you every day that you are full of shit. When are you going to finally get the message, that You. Are. Full. Of. Shit!”
“So aggressive!” Duenna said, feigning shock.
“I couldn’t agree more.” Thesis said judgingly, “She’s an absolute demon.”
“Oh, I’m sorry Freud! Maybe it’s just my pesky penis envy acting up!” Agony said in a mockingly innocent voice, putting a finger to her cheek. Thesis went red.
“I never argued the theory of penis envy!” Thesis bellowed, “I have told you this over and over!”
“Whatever you say… Freud.” Agony winked slyly.
“AARRG!!” Thesis yelled.
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