Click!

The sound of opening the beer echoed in the room before a hissing sound taking over. The omega who was sitting next to me remained quiet, probably secretly waiting my words to come out of my mouth, despite looking nonchalant and couldn't be bothered. I hooked my lips in silence as I recalled my past.

"I had two alpha parents who were high school sweethearts. You see, my mum found out she was pregnant with me, so they got married. Then, I was born and grew up watching them being lovey-dovey with each other until I was so tired of it." I chuckled before a not-so-happy memory barging my mind, pulling my mood down into the sewer. I smiled bitterly while fiddling with my fingers.

"I could swear that the look I saw in their eyes when they looked at each other back then, was love. Deep love."

I gulped down my saliva, trying to ease the pain within my heart. My breath was stuck in my throat, tears were threatening to fall from my eyes whenever I tried to remember them, but my pride was forcing me to endure.

"Not until mum found out that dad had an affair with an omega prostitute. I even saw dad brought the man home before mum's outburst. Since then, they had a fight almost every day. Dad claimed that he and the omega was fated mates, discreetly implementing that his relationship with the omega was "inevitable" and "justifiable". Even pointing his fingers at mum, saying that mum would've left him too if she will ever come across her own fated mate."

"How do you think she'd react when she have had enough? She ran away, heartbroken, leaving me and dad alone. Dad then told me that the omega was going to live with us, and he was going to be my new mum. He really did live with us for a while. Then, mum and dad planned a divorce, but they had an accident before they could file it."

"That was when Granddad took me in. He raised me with the help of Uncle Brian."

I slowly led my eyes to him as I cautiously stared and waiting for his reaction. I was kind of hoping he would bring out his sob stories too after hearing my own sob story. Alas, he didn't even react.

What a bummer. I was actually curious about why he was crying that night, though. The omega was just silently and slowly sipping at his beer.

It was awkward. At that moment, I was kind of feeling sorry for bringing out a pathetic story, thus ruining the mood, so I diverted the attention back to him.

"So, what's your story?" I asked, slightly raising my eyebrows impatiently towards the silent omega next to me.

He pondered for a bit before answering, "My parents are dead, my sister's missing, my husband's an idiot."

Yup. He wouldn't even think of yielding. I mean, how hard was it for me to breach his walls without him consenting my actions?

Looking at his behaviour, the answer was: it was really hard.

With no topics left came into mind (and the awkwardness was killing me slowly), I unconsciously downed the beer in front of me, cans after cans until there's nothing left. I was probably possessed by beer ghost. After that, my brain.exe had to stop working and I entered autopilot mode.

=====☆=====

[An's POV] 

An hour passed.

I let out a long, exhausted sigh. I was pretty sure that this guy's brain had already turned into mush years ago. How could he talk lovingly about his girlfriend in front of his WIFE? Even though I expected nothing from him, I was still an omega. It was in omega's blood to yearn for an alpha's attention, protection and love. Even if my mind consciously didn't regard him as my alpha, my instinct had already imprinted on him.

Especially when we were so close like this, and I could smell his calming pheromones seeping out from his skin. If I were to throw away my rationality, I might've clinging onto him already.

God! This is what I hate being an omega. I wish I could be independent even without an alpha next to me.

"And then! Who would- wouldut- wouldeh? Whoooo- would have thought dat ze preeee-tty angelll wash Vanessha! My! Vanessha!"

And now he was doing a weird accent. Great. He couldn't even say the word 'would've'. Psh! Idiot.

"DARLING! HEAWR ME OUUUUTTT!"

"Who's your darling?!"

I glared straight into his hazy eyes. Holy macaroni. Just why did my heart flutter when I heard he called me that?! I must be crazy!

The drunken alpha let out a low chuckle and slowly raised his hands towards me. My breath got stuck in my throat and refused to be free. I involuntarily closed my eyes as his hands got closer.

"Goodnyess me~ My darlin' got jealous~"

His annoying hands annoyingly messed up my hair with his annoying rough rubbing while his annoying hoarse voice jabbed me straight to my heart. Wait, what?!

"I'm not jealous! You, stop that!"

I tried to struggle myself away from him, but he was faster than me. He pinched my cheeks with his cold fingers, making my whole body shivered. The chains on the handcuffs clinking as he pulled my face closer to his solemn face.

"I'm sorry, wife. I should love you, but I can only love her. So, I can't have you here." He placed my handcuffed hand to his chest. It was warm, but his words are cold.

I knew that even if you didn't tell me, idiot.

I knew that you were trying to be loyal.

I didn't blame you for that.

But, still...

I pushed him away. He smiled at me and stroked my messy hair gently. I let out a quiet sigh.

Hey, didn't you know that you shouldn't be so gentle to the person that attracted to you?

Oh, well. It's not your problem, anyway.

I opened another can and swallowed it down my stuffy throat. Zephyr was silently looking at me with a rare gentle smile. Maybe he was apologetic about what he felt about me. Honestly, it's not such a big deal. I promised to stay for 3 years. So be it. We don't have to cultivate feelings with each other. This whole thing was promised an expiry date.

The night was creeping in a petty pace, enveloped in the silence. My thoughts were out of focus, making me opening up to the man sitting beside me. It was then that the curiosity that I planned to bury forever slipped out of my mouth.

"What did you think of me when we first met?"

It was too late to stop when I realized what I have said. Even so, he just smiled at my question, looking as if he already had the answer to that without even had to think hard.

"The first time I saw you, I thought you were beautiful. Se~riously beautiful. I love hearing your gentle voice. I felt like I was falling in love."

I was seriously speechless with the sudden confession. Was this drunken guy serious? What did he mean by "falling in love"? Did he think about a different person? Was he talking about Vanessa again? That must be it. After all, he said that person was "beautiful" and he was "falling in love".

"But- but I got my Vanessa."

Wait. I was wrong?

"I was afraid. I didn't wanna be like Juno."

Who's Juno?

"I don't wanna fall in love with you, An."

He called my name.

"I- That time when I saw you cry... My here-" He pulled my hands and placed them on his heart once again. "It hurts- here. Why?"

How would I know!

"C- can I have you here?" He thumped his chest with his fist. His pitiful voice sounded like a pitiful starving child, asking for a little piece of bread in winter night.

I just left his question hanging. Somehow, my eyes started to water. I didn't know why, or what was happening to me. His confession was beyond me. I... had never experienced something like this before.

Kindness and love burdened me; even though I crave them so much.

Receiving looks of contempt was much easier than this strange and unfamiliar warmth.

Scorn, mockery, disdain, dread... all of them was lighter than the heaviness of compassion and endearment. The latter made me think that the people who gave me expected me to repay all the goodwill they gave me. For me, it feels superficial.

I was getting paranoid. 

Or maybe it was the alcohol.

I slowly took my hands off from Zephyr's grasps. Should I say yes, wouldn't I get hurt in return later? I felt like I would be over if I ever get hurt again.

"Hav- have you ever been in love before?"

Zephyr's question brought my eyes staring into his eyes. I didn't really care to answer, but he seemed to patiently waiting for me to tell him. I exhaled a short breath and shook my head.

"I am incapable of feeling 'love'. Even if I do, it didn't last for long."

More like, I didn't know what 'love' was.

"Why?" he asked.

I shrugged.

"I used to indulge myself in fictions, trying to learn how to feel emotions, including love." I turned my head to him and let out a small snigger. "It was easier to feel the emotions of the fictional characters rather than my own emotions."

"You can learn 'bout love, you know?" he muttered as he played around the rim of his aluminium can.

"There was one way I could know, tho. If I ever love someone, I mean. Probably. "

"How?"

"If I close my eyes, and imagine they died. If I feel sad, or fear of them dying, that means I love them."

"...what a shitty method," he commented after a pause.

"...yeah. It really is."

The atmosphere after that was slightly awkward due to the weirds conversation. Neither of us tried to break the silence, instead, we both drowned ourselves in sips of alcohol. I was getting a little bit more tipsy over time.

"If you die... I'll probably be sad..."

I turned my attention towards him, and his small and quiet voice intruded my ringing ears. Honestly, his words poked something in my heart. I dipped my head down, trying to ease the lump that was blocking my throat.

Please, don't say that...

"...first time hearing that," I said, but the words came out of me sounded more like a timid whisper. I didn't dare to let him hear that, yet, I wanted him to hear that.

"...what's your impression of me?" he asked. The conversation was suddenly jumping topics, that my fuzzy mind couldn't keep up with it anymore.

I put down the beer in my hands before bringing my knees close to my chest. He patiently waited for me to answer his questions, almost as if he sincerely wanted to know the answer. I exhaled my breath slowly and swallowed my saliva.

"I was fooled by you."

That was all I said. I refused to say about how I thought he was a good guy by the way he treated me nicely after our marriage talk with Master Blakesley. I should've known back then that he was just acting, probably he was trying to make his grandfather happy. After all, his grandfather was so enthusiastic about his matchmaking project.

But now, he said that he was attracted to me ever since the first time he saw me? That the reason he treated me badly was he was afraid of betraying his love for Vanessa? Who could possibly believe that? If you don't want me, then just shut your mouth and don't give me false hope.

Even so, it didn't fail to make my heart shook. Because I didn't understand love, I craved for it even more. Much to my dismay to admit it. Did I love him? No. Not at all. Did I feel attracted to him? Yes. But I know he wouldn't be mine, so I should stop. Then, when the time comes, it'll be easier for me to disappear.

Haa...

All these thinking made me feel annoyed. I swallowed down the whole beer before finishing another can. Zephyr didn't say anything, so I passed the time by doing this stupid thing that I knew I would regret later.