Edited by: Kuro, Lille, and Nyxx
Alec was standing mindlessly in his old apartment. The apartment had 2 rooms and bathrooms. A simple apartment. There were no pictures on the walls; hardly any color in the room except for the sunlight coming in from the window. The only sounds were coming from the moving pictures on the TV. There was a simple black sofa a few feet away from the TV and a brown coffee table in between the two.
The kitchen, which looked like it was barely used, was extremely clean. There was never a dish left in the sink and the smell was as if the kitchen was brand new.
The dinner table was clean but had the same decorations from their move-in. None of the objects were moved from their place.
The carpet didn't have a single stain on it, as if the carpet was just installed.
The master bedroom was spotless. The bed was always made, not a speck of dust around the nightstand or the windows. The drawer had everything in order, in equal spacing, and was symmetrical. The closet was color-coded but then arranged by type and occasion of clothing. The bathroom was so clean you could sit naked on the floor next to the toilet.
Alec found himself standing in the middle of the master bedroom like he was released from his trance. He slowly moved his head around to see the place he had lived in with his ex-husband. Terror rushed through his face as he quickly looked around to find his ex-husband was not at home.
He gave a deep sigh of relief and then saw a slight deviation in the pillows sitting on the bed. He quickly rushed over to fix the pillows. Once everything was in a perfect position, the tension he felt lessened a bit.
Alec thought he got rid of his OCD after he died and met System 225…
"System?"
He waited for an answer but System 225 didn't respond to him.
"System 225?"
The dread was slowly coming back. He died and was stuck jumping from world to world, why was he back in his old apartment?
"Honey, I'm home." A voice interrupted his thoughts. It was his husband, Derick, who had just gotten home from work. His voice was unenthusiastic as always. Derick hated coming home to a house that didn't seem like it was lived in. But what he hated most was his perfect husband.
At first, he thought the man had a beautiful body. To keep someone like him at home was great. But as time went on, the clinging, the possessiveness, and the perfection seeped into his skin. Annoying him half to death, like it was clinging on to his legs. Almost like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoes, hard to get off, and going with you everywhere.
Alec didn't follow Derick or stalk him, he doubted him, much to his right as Derick was no perfect husband, but that doubt annoyed him. Derick just wanted someone to stay at home, to be obedient, to shut up, and to keep the house warm. But that man kept up a fight for years until Derick finally broke him.
His body was no longer beautiful to Derick. Used and old, what he wanted was something new and fresh. To use the same thing over and over again felt disgusting, like wearing a used pair of underwear that hadn't been washed for months.
Derick was confused as to why his husband hadn't welcomed him home yet. Was he asleep? Was he still cleaning? Wasn't he always perfect and on time?
Before he could leave the hallway, he saw his husband come out from inside the master bedroom. His hair was slightly unkempt, unusual to his usual clean and crisp appearance. He looked a little tired but he still tried to smile.
"Welcome home." His voice was different. Soft and gentle like the breeze by a calm ocean. Music to the ears and the soul. Something was definitely different.
"Why didn't you welcome me at the door when I walked in?" Derick was already used to that.
"I'm sorry. I was lost in my thoughts. Would you like to have dinner? A bath?" Alec almost broke his facade.
Derick went to reach out to touch his forehead to see if he was sick, but his husband flinched away from him. He wasn't going to hit him, so why was he flinching?
"You aren't sick are you?"
"No! Just a little tired is all."
Alec didn't want to be touched by Derick. He was repulsed. He knew Derick was cheating on him with 5 other people. They were all people who didn't know he was married or even in a relationship with anyone else.
He didn't want to get dirty being touched by Derick. Dirty. It was nasty and disgusting. He felt like throwing up just thinking about it. He wanted to wash his skin and scrub until the germs were all gone.
Derick went to wash up while Alec went to make food in the kitchen. His movements were on autopilot but there were no mistakes. He made Derick's favorite pasta dish. Thick and creamy, buttery sauce, drizzled on top of baked breaded chicken. A sprinkle of cheese was the last thing to top the pasta dish. On the side, there was a large bowl of salad drizzled with dressing.
Alec placed all the food on the dining table that could fit 8 people. Everything was in equal spacing. Derick's food was at the head of the table while Alec's was to the right of Derick's.
By the time Alec finished setting up the table, Derick came out in just his boxers and a towel draped on his shoulders. The man was handsome and worked out daily, so he had a nice row of abdominal muscles. He had brown eyes, light brown hair, and a nicely shaved beard. He was 5'9 and stood proudly. All in all, his asshole demeanor attracted many people.
The more Alec looked at him, the more of a fool he thought himself to be. He couldn't believe he fell for this man. This horrible, aggressive, and abusive man slowly broke him down until he was left with nothing. He should've listened to everyone. He should've left when the signs first started to appear, but he was stubborn and naive. Believing that the man he loved was truly sorry. Gift after gift slowly meant nothing to him.
After they finished eating, they went back to their rooms. Derick was confused, as normally, he'd have to slam the door and lock it on his husband after dinner, but now the man was obediently going back to his room. Derick watched Alec shut the door before going back into his room to do some work he had brought home.
Alec, on the other hand, locked the door and ran into the bathroom. He vomited everything he had just eaten until the only thing that was left was stomach acid. He took a few deep breaths before getting up and cleaning the bathroom. The bathroom looked just like how it was before he walked in.
He cleaned his mouth before finally leaving the bathroom. He felt weak but still tried to make it to his bed. Getting too dizzy, he ended up sitting down on the ground near his bed.
Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about how he ate next to that man. How he cooked for that man.
How he had once loved that man.
Then he thought about his life as Alec. He was filled with warmth every day as he made a friend and had someone to take care of him. But…
"I am not Alec, I am..."
Alec was at a loss. He couldn't remember his real name. He felt his head starting to hurt the more he tried to think about it. Why couldn't he remember his real name...?
He heard a loud banging at his door, breaking him from his train of thought. Alec quickly got up, and even though his mind protested, his legs moved on their own. He opened the door to find an angry Derick.
Alec didn't know why he was angry. He was being good. He was being obedient. He didn't do anything wrong today.
But Derick still stormed in and grabbed him by the shoulders before throwing him. His back hit the bed frame at the foot of the bed. His head made contact with the frame, giving him a horrible headache. He tried to get up but found he had lost the strength to do so.
Derick was angry. Angry about work that had just gone wrong, angry at his perfect husband who was finally obedient. Was he cheating on me? Is that why he doesn't want to follow me around the house anymore? How dare he! He's my property so he can't be with anyone else. His body is now tainted with someone else, isn't it?!
Before Alec could say anything, Derick already had his hands around his neck. Alec tried to struggle but Derick slapped his face. It tingled from the impact.
Getting hit, Alec decided to stop fighting and closed his eyes. He felt dead. He had already died. There was no problem dying over and over and over again. He had already done this. He had already been tortured to the point his broken soul was put together only to be broken over and over again.
He stopped moving. He had given up.
And the only thing Derick did was tighten his hold around Alec's neck.
*****
Alec woke up from his nightmare. He quickly sat up and held his hands to his chest, trying to calm his fast-beating heart. He had a cold sweat and tried his best to slow his breathing.
He looked around to see he was back in Alec's apartment. It was clean but seemed lived in, contrary to his first life's apartment.
Alec sighed in relief knowing it was just a dream.
"System 225..." Alec called out after a while.
"Host, I tried to wake you up earlier but you wouldn't wake up."
"...What time is it, System?"
"It's 3:23 AM, Host."
Alec looked over at his phone to see messages from Kyle that had been sent a couple of hours ago. There were "let's hang out" and "goodnight” messages. He then saw Damien's name flash up on the screen saying: "Sorry for the late reply, good night, and hope you sleep well."
"Damien..." He didn’t know why, but he felt relieved to know that Damien and Kyle were by his side.
Alec was relieved but scared. Scared because he wasn’t Alec, because he didn’t deserve the love that he had gotten from Kyle and Damien.
He was also tired. Tired of going through everything alone. He wanted someone to pamper him, to care for him, and to love him when he can't do the same to himself. Alec felt it was exhausting to be his own cheerleader.
"Host..." System 225 wanted to say something, but seeing the grief in Alec's eyes, he found it hard to even breathe.
He wanted to comfort and tell his Host, but at the same time, he knew he'd make the situation worse. He wished that his Host would allow himself to love and be loved. He deserved it.
"Host, from what I have noticed, even though you are in Alec's body and do not think you are the real Alec, you are also him. Every body you go into (that's not within the Villain System), you become them as well. Do you remember the worlds you came into before getting trapped in the Villain System? Where you struggled with your emotions because you felt their pain and their sorrow? Like it was you? Well, that's because you become a part of them. You are also them as much as they are you. They also have become you through the life you live through them. If that makes sense."
"Wha... I don't know if I understand... Is that really true?"
"Of course, Host. Your soul is compatible with those bodies. That's why you can get their memories, feel their emotions, and see the world through their eyes. With every successful life you live, it heals their soul. Their soul mends and becomes ready to go into the Reincarnation Sea. That is the true purpose of the Host and System. Never forget that, Host. The life you live through them is also both them and you. They can feel the changed life you gave to them."
Alec was at a loss. For the longest time, he had thought his soul was completely different and detached from the bodies he occupied. He didn't realize that with time, he left a piece of his soul with every soul each body contained as they gave him a piece of theirs when he left. He wasn't just his own soul, but a collection of souls. They all gave him strength as he gave them strength. He was their foundation and they were his pillars. It was an odd feeling to have.
Alec laid back down and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and thought for the next couple of hours before he had to get up. He oddly felt at peace with himself. It was new to him...
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