Deimos groaned and banged his forehead against the desk. Kalmin blinked and glanced at him, pulling out one of his earbuds to hear the full effect of his sad, sad groan. Thankfully since it was ten o’clock in the evening on a Saturday, no one was in the computer lab and had to witness this minor breakdown. Also, thankfully, since no one else was around Kalmin could do this.

“C’mere,” Kalmin murmured.

Deimos peered up at him quizzically. “What?”

“You’re stressed, c’mere and hug me,” Kalmin urged on. He grinned.

“You think a hug is going to finish this essay?” Deimos snapped.

Kalmin rolled his eyes and rolled his chair close to him. Gently, he tugged him up and wrapped his arms around his waist. Deimos sighed harshly into his shoulder and kind of just sat there limp in his arms breathing hard. But, slowly Kalmin noticed the deeper breaths he was taking and then Deimos was nuzzling his face into his neck and finally wrapping his arms tight around Kalmin.

“Fuck,” Deimos whined.

“It’s ok, you’re going to be ok,” Kalmin muttered, rubbing his back in circles. “You’re almost there. One more exam.”

Deimos sighed once more and kissed Kalmin’s neck. It sent shivers down his spine, memories of hot nights when he was kissing his neck and doing more than hugging him popping up. Fuck, Kalmin wanted to just hug him to make Deimos calm down, brain stop.

“I’m absolutely going to lose my shit,” Deimos muttered sourly into his sweater.

“You can do it, I believe in you,” Kalmin whispered into his ear. Deimos grunted and slipped his hands under Kalmin’s shirt to trace lines up his spine. The boy shivered in response. His fingers were cold.

“Sometimes I wonder why the hell I’m even going through this shit in the first place,” he replied softly. “I should have just stayed in Greece. English here is so fucking hard.”

Kalmin blinked and sighed, rubbing his back a little harder. He forgot English was his second language. “You came here to have a better life, and you do. This is only temporary.”

“I’m going to fail this class and I don’t want to retake it,” he groaned.

“You won’t fail, you’re a very eloquent writer. Better than Seb.”

“Everyone’s better than Seb.”

“Don’t tell him that.”

Deimos chuckled and lifted his face out of Kalmin’s neck. “I just hate how I have to do this. All this meaningless writing and stress for a career I don’t even know that I want.”

“Well, what did you want before this stress?”

“I came here for business. I don’t know, in high school I just wanted to make something my own. Make my own business, follow by my own rules. It was naive and stupid,” he muttered sourly. “I didn’t think this through at all, fuck.” He gripped Kalmin a little tighter. “I just wanted to leave Greece. I didn’t think about my future. I just wanted to leave.”

“And that made you happy, no? So that’s not the wrong step,” Kalmin replied gently. “Plans change all the time. If business isn’t for you, you can always change. There’s no shame in that.”

Deimos sighed. “You and Mira are so dead-set on your careers. I’m just fucking here, doing who knows what the fuck.”

Kalmin frowned and slowly peeled himself off Deimos. His eyes were glassy. This wasn’t the first time he’s thought about this. This wasn’t his second either. He wondered if this was what was plaguing his nightmares that one time. He wondered if this was a nightly occurrence.

Gently, Kalmin touched his cheek.

“I’m just like you, Deimos. Uncertain of my future, scared, anxious, and envious of both of you. Business is a fine program, you can get many well-paying jobs. Mira’s so passionate and creative and happy with her work. But me, if I’m not at my one hundred percent all the time on the ice, I’m never going to score a contract. My goals are so ambitious it makes me nauseous.”

Deimos’ face twisted into a snarl. “But either way you’re happy doing what you’re doing. No matter how much hockey fucking drains you, it’s a path you’ll never regret. I don’t have that. I just have this dumb program that keeps me in Canada and with you two. Without it, I’m back in Greece and miserable but at least I’m not drowning in debt and writing a meaningless stupid fucking essay.”

Kalmin blinked.

“You’re being irrational, you know that, right?” He said gently.

Deimos exhaled sharply and rubbed his eyes. “Yes, I know. It’s stupid, sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry for being stressed, that’s ok.” Kalmin laced their hands together. “You just need to take a break, calm down, ace this essay and then from there we can all figure something out. You don't have to worry about a program change right now. At least finish these classes to get the credits. Then if you want to stay in business or not, we can talk it out.”

Deimos’ expression softened and he squeezed Kalmin’s hand.

“Yeah, ok,” he muttered shyly.

“It’s always ok talking about your anxieties with me, I hope you know that,” Kalmin smiled. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Thank you for letting me vent,” Deimos grumbled softly. Then his arms were around him again and Kalmin grinned a little bigger into his shoulder.

“Last exam, let’s GO!” Mira shouted at the top of her lungs. Kalmin choked on his breakfast as Deimos groaned in bed and rolled to the side. Mira danced around the mattress, clapping her hands and moving her hips.

“Last! Exam! Last! Exam!” She sang, a little too excited. Deimos lifted his head from the pillows and gave her the bird.

“You’re horrible,” he snarled.

“Get up! You told me to wake you up! Kalmin made breakfast!” Mira hopped onto the bed and shook him like how those kids in cereal commercials woke up their parents.

“Fuck you,” Deimos spat out. He snatched her arm and threw her against the mattress, Mira bursting out laughing. They wrestled in the blankets for about ten seconds before Deimos was giggling and Mira was on top, claiming victory.

“G’morning,” she snickered.

“I’m the man of this house and I’m kicking you out,” he snapped back playfully.

Kalmin laughed out loud. “We both know who the real man of the house is.”

“It’s me,” Mira sneered.

Deimos stuck out his tongue and suddenly broke out of Mira’s grasp to wrap his arms around her. Then dramatically he sucked in a huge gulp of air and blew the loudest raspberry on her shoulder. Mira snorted and lost it, and Kalmin joining her, doubled over on the counter with tears in his eyes.

“You got spit everywhere!” Mira whined, wiping her wet shoulder on his shirt.

“Tough shit,” her boyfriend replied bluntly. Snickering, he hopped out of bed, completely awake now, and padded over to give Kalmin a quick peck on the cheek and a surprising grope of the ass before turning back around for the washroom.

“Hey! Stop being lovey-dovey!” Mira complained from the bed.

“He didn’t wake me up!”

“You told me to wake you up!”

Deimos gave her one last middle finger before closing the bathroom door.

Kalmin giggled and set down his breakfast.

“You both are maniacs,” he commented.

Mira grinned big. “He can’t be nervous for his exam if he’s angry at me.” 

Deimos’ hands were sweaty as he unlaced them from Mira’s grasp. She stepped in front and looked at him with a huge smile as if that smile was going to convince his professor to give him an A+. On his right Kalmin rubbed his shoulder and gave him a kind grin as well, and Deimos felt like kissing him.

“Good luck,” Kalmin whispered.

Deimos nodded silently before pulling him into a hug to Kalmin’s surprise. Shakily, Deimos breathed in and out, squeezing the life out of him. Deimos felt like a goddamn phone, needed to be charged to function properly and his source of energy were these two damn dorks. Quickly and blindly, he grabbed for Mira as well, and she giggled and squeezed in between the both of them.

Deimos ignored that sinking feeling in his stomach, that coil of electric anxiety that zapped him time to time, and just tried to remember these two. His girlfriend and boyfriend. Forget about changing programs, about moving away, about the future, and focus on them. After this exam was over, he can make out with them as much as he pleased until January.