** ALLAN **

‘YOU KNOW,’ BRIAN SAID, AT WHAT AT FIRST SEEMED like the end of our night celebrating his birthday. He started to get closer to me as he talked and I couldn’t move away. I would never want to anyway and now I felt brave enough to stay where I was. ‘This was by far the best birthday I’ve ever had. I felt special like I haven’t in a long time. There is only one thing missing for it to be perfect.’

He was so close I could feel the watermelon flavour of the bubble gum he had chewed when we left the restaurant. Oh my, please, let this missing thing be what I’m thinking it is. I worked up my courage and started to ask:

‘And what is —’

But he didn’t even give me time to finish my question. He pulled me closer to him and placed a kiss on my mouth. For a small second, I couldn’t believe that was finally happening, but I quickly decided to enjoy the moment. The man I had desired since I first laid eyes upon him was fully kissing me. I, who had never thought you could feel the things I felt for him, was completely given. During that kiss he was mine and I was his.

When our lips parted, we still felt so connected to each other that we remained in our embrace. I looked deep into his eyes and tried my hardest to make him see all the love that I had in me that was all for him.

‘You know,’ I said, still holding him tight, ‘there’s this tradition... somewhere... that on your birthday you ought to receive a kiss for each year you’ve lived.’

‘Does that mean I get twenty-one kisses from you?’

‘Only if you want me to stop at twenty-one.’

‘I don’t think I’ll ever want you to stop,’ he said and I kissed him.

‘I know it’s late,’ I said when that second kiss ended, holding his arms by the elbows, ‘but I do have a present for you. Only it’s not here. Do you mind?’

‘Allan,’ his sexy voice calling out my name so close to my ear, for the first time filled with unrefrained tenderness, sent chills down my spine. ‘Please understand, when it comes to spending time with you, I’ll never mind.’

‘Stop being so perfect for only one moment, will you? I’m trying to focus,’ I said as I turned round and pulled my phone from my pocket and called us an Uber without telling him what was our new destination.

‘Allan?’ He said in that tentatively tone of his. ‘Can we stay hugged a little longer? After all, it is my birthday.’

I only nodded and he hugged me from behind, intertwining his hands with mine and placing his chin to rest on my shoulder.

‘So does that mean I can only hug you on your birthday?’ I said jokingly and he bit me on the shoulder. I couldn’t help it and started laughing.

Our Uber arrived quickly and I needed to distract him from where we were going, so as soon as the car left, I started kissing him again. It was only when we arrived that he saw where we were.

‘Allan,’ he said, getting out of the car and facing the building. ‘Don’t you think I’d have noticed if you had hidden a present in my flat?’

‘Oh, your present is not there,’ I chuckled. ‘Only the tool I need to give it to you.’

‘Can you make a present using the videogame?’

‘That’s actually a great idea. Should’ve thought of it, too. Forget you said that and act surprised next year, okay?’

‘Okay,’ he laughed as we got the lift.

‘All right. Where is this present?’ He asked after locking the door to his flat behind him and turning on the lights.

‘Sit there on the couch and stay there,’ I told him and waited for him to be comfortable before returning to the light switch and turning it off. By now, I knew my way around his flat so well I didn’t need lights. I sat by his piano and turned on the lamp post he had next to it. The light was very dim, positioned to only cast at the keys.

‘When you opened that door for the first time, Brian, you made me look at life under a different light. For the first time, I wanted to do something, even it was something as simple as being next to you. So, whenever I was at home or at work when no one was there, I would practice this song for you. I’m not a composer like you, but it’s from the heart.’

I started playing and in about five seconds I heard him gasp, recognising the tune. It was a rather simple melody, albeit still a gorgeous one. Then, I started singing Ewan MacColl’s love letter to his beloved Peggy Seeger in the late nineteen fifties and later immortalised by the one and only Roberta Flack. The song, called ‘The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face’, translated perfectly Brian’s words that music was all about emotion. And those lyrics carried all the emotion I had felt for him since he opened that black oak door for the first time.

I kept singing words that were now mine to him, saying how the Sun rose through his eyes when I first laid eyes upon him. How I could feel the Earth moving in my fingers when I first kissed him so shortly ago. Although it had been recent, the sensation was so familiar it felt like I’ve always known what it feels like to kiss him.

Before finishing the song, I sang the only line that still hadn’t happened to us. The line about how I could feel his heart so close to mine the first time we laid together. I had already felt his heartbeat during many blissful moments, but not like that. However, if what he felt for me was as real as what I felt for him, I was sure we wouldn’t take too long to change it.

I finished singing and I was certain I could hear him sobbing. I turned out the light next to me and made my way in the dark to the corner of the couch where I knew he was sitting. I kneeled in front of him, got closer, and locked my lips on his, feeling his wet cheek.

‘My love,’ I said in a whisper and, even though we were in the dark, I knew he had opened a smile. I used my thumb to caress his cheek before I asked ‘why are you crying?’

‘The two past birthdays were so hard, Allan. I was so alone. I was still a teenager and I spent my nineteenth and twentieth birthdays by myself inside this flat. I just feel so thankful for all the happiness you’re giving me, that’s all. And I share the sentiment of the song too, you know? When your mom came here for the first time and she showed me the picture of you two on her phone screen and right there I knew I was falling for you. And to be so blessed on my birthday to have you in my life like that … like … like I never thought I’d ever have anyone, daresay you—’

‘And I’m also so grateful to have the best human being I’ve ever met become part of mine. But you know, there is one sentiment from the song that I think we’re still unable to share. And I … I would very much like to fix that, if that is okay with you.’

‘And what is it?’

I grabbed him by the hand and led him to the piano, where I turned the lamp post on again and we sat side by side. I started playing the part closest to the end and said the line instead of singing it.

‘This part … of feeling your heart so close to mine when we lay together. I know I can always feel your heart beat whenever we hug, and I think that’s probably my favourite part of hugging you, but we haven’t lain.’

‘No, we haven’t,’ and he started to kiss me with this incredible mixture of love and lust.

We started to slowly undress each other and there wasn’t a single part of that skin that I didn’t love. I wanted to kiss all of him, to have every bit of himself touched by my lips. He started moaning every time my mouth touched him. I could tell he was eager to return the favour, but I wanted to please him above it all.

‘Shh,’ I said as I got back up, kissing him, making him know what he tasted like. ‘It’s your birthday, remember? Today everything’s on me.’

‘Nah. Not this. This is on us. Together. Always.’

‘Okay, then. Together. Always,’ and when I said that, he got up, holding me and lifting me up in his arms. He placed me on the top of his piano, my naked back against the cold smooth dark wooden surface. He caressed all of my body with his lips, going places I didn’t even know I had.

‘Brian,’ I called him, barely able to contain my pleasure and satisfaction.

‘Yes, my love?’

‘As of tonight, I want to be yours. That is, if you’ll have me, of course.’

Under the feeble light of the lamp, I could see his eyes gleam in expectation.

‘Of course I’ll have you. I’ve wanted to have you since I first saw you. And now I can finally say you’re mine.’

‘Yes. Yes, I am. So come on, let me feel you. Make me entirely yours.’

I could see him standing up between my legs and positioning himself, also adjusting me. I braced myself for a pain that never came. I could feel all of him and, for the first time in my life, I felt complete. After a while, he started swinging and I wasn’t able to control my voice anymore.

We had no rush. We were finally physically and emotionally connected and we both made sure to enjoy every second of it all. When we finished, he sat exhausted on the piano bench. I slid down through the front and sat on his legs facing him, with each of my legs on each side of his body, my feet firmly on the ground behind him.

‘Brian?’

‘Hm?’

‘I meant it. I want to be yours. All and completely yours.’

‘So do I, my love. I want to be yours and I want you to be my everything. My best, one and only friend. My lover. My boyfriend. And also, two hours on Wednesdays and Fridays, my student. What do you say?’

‘I say I am yours’ I pecked the tip of his nose.

‘Now,’ he said, ‘would you make me, if that’s by any chance possible, even happier and give me the pleasure of sleeping next to me tonight?’

‘I would very much love that.’