** BRIAN **

A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN THREE MONTHS HAD passed since I first took Allan to have pizza after his class. In those three months we kept following the schedule of class plus evening eating and talking. His mother came by once a month to give me a check and every time she came, she looked happier. I know it’s not very humble, but I like to think I might have something to do with it.

The weekends were the longest, though. I never had a problem with spending them on the flat before, just playing the day away or people-watching through my living room window. But since I met Allan, I started feeling jealous of the couples passing by on Saturday nights, so I stopped with the people-watching and decided to get myself a videogame console with some games. I never brought myself round to play, though. I kept the box closed next to the TV. I basically reduced my leisure to playing.

Then, one particular Monday, I woke up feeling bad for the lousy weekend I had just had. Allan’s smile never left my mind and all I had was the memory for two more days.

I needed to see his smile sooner.

I had a morning class and over lunch I kept thinking about him. How I wanted to have had that lunch with him. To have cooked it with him. To have washed the dishes with him. To afterwards go make love to him.

It was helpless. I needed at least to see him. Maybe he’d be down to some pizza?

We had this inside joke of how much we craved for pizza from time to time. I decided to place my bets on that and take the gamble. I texted him saying I was craving pizza so much that I couldn’t take it anymore. At least I only lied about the pizza part.

I was over the moon when he replied suggesting that we meet up later. It was so hard to play it cool. I had Micah’s class, then I went to take a shower. I tried to dress a little bit more casually and got his text saying he was on his way right as I arrived at the parlour.

It takes him an hour to arrive. It takes the pizza man thirty-five minutes to serve the pizza. I pretended to scrutinise the menu for the difference of twenty-five minutes and placed my order when the time was just right.

And right it was. The waiter placed the pizza and plates down on the table at the exact time Allan entered through the door, his smile opening wide when he saw me.

I already lost count of the things I could do just to be on the receiving end of that smile.

‘Oh my, how lucky am I?’ He said, reaching for the chair. ‘I got here just in time!’

Yeah. Sure. Lucky.

We devoured the first slice in silence and I just watched as he happily ate. Then we started talking and it was as pleasant as always.

We stayed there until closing time again. If it weren’t for the tips I gave, I’m sure the staff would hate us by now. I walked him to the bus stop again. I was so happy and thankful for having been with him an extra evening that I didn’t even pay attention to how much more I wanted him.

I could see his bus on the distance. I turned to him, expecting to see his stretched hand, but he took me completely off my feet by hugging me. It was so tender and tight at the same time. I felt the happiest I could remember and for one second only enjoyed this perfect shock, but then I felt him loosening his grip just a little bit. I wasn’t ready yet, so I held him back. Just as tight.

No words were spoken. None of us even moved. The whole world exploded in beautiful fireworks around me.

I didn’t know if we stayed there for one second or one century. When I finally opened my eyes, arms still locked with his, I saw the back of his bus very far away past us. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

‘What?’ He asked.

‘I guess we missed your bus.’

The shock made him let go of me. Why on earth did I have to open my mouth?

‘Oh, boy! There’s going to be a next one, right?’

‘Sure. Fifteen more minutes, though.’

‘That’s fine... Do you mind?’

‘Not at all. I’ll make sure to see you safely on the bus.’

He smiled again. I wanted to go back to his arms, but I didn’t bring myself to it.

That extra quarter of an hour with him felt like a heavenly gift, but it passed too fast. Soon, another bus was coming.

‘Okay. This time I’m really going,’ he said while hailing it. ‘Thanks for the awesome evening.’

We hugged again as the bus stopped. I didn’t want to let go, but I worried about his safety more.

‘My pleasure. See you Wednesday,’ it wasn’t a question this time and he noticed it. He smiled one more time and boarded the bus. I watched it go up the road and made my way back home, still feeling his scent on my neck.

Over the next eight weeks we would meet a lot of times for dinner, even when it wasn’t a day for his lessons. One of my favourites was a mere fortnight after our first hug, when we actually hung out on a Saturday night! I took him to a theatre concert. He said it was the first time he’d been to a theatre and that somehow made me feel happy and special.

We were both very emotional throughout the whole thing. A lot of times, I thought of reaching out for his hand, but I controlled myself. We were both teary by the end.

‘Boy that was emotional,’ he said as we left the theatre, facing the cold evening air. ‘Thanks so much for inviting me. Now what do you say I get us some food?’

‘That will make me more emotional than the concert,’ I said laughing. We looked around the square and saw this wok place nearby. We looked at each other and non-verbally agreed that was our destination.

We ate as we talked and laughed talking about the games he liked. I suddenly realised that my knowledge of his favourite games was rooted so deeply in my brain that the gear he was talking about was exactly the same console and games I bought for myself. And there I was, all those weeks ago, at the shop, believing I wasn’t thinking of him.

‘So, this might sound crazy,’ I started. ‘But with all the piano and the teenage tours I never really got to play video games...’

‘Oh, my sweet child,’ he said closing his hands in front of his heart, remarkably reminding me of his mother. ‘Worry no more. I can save you!’

I laughed.

‘Actually,’ I continued, ‘I got myself a device a few weeks ago. But I know nothing about it, so I never even opened the box. Do you think you can some time come over and teach me how to play?’

His eyes gleamed like the theatre super troopers. He couldn’t contain such excitement.

‘OH MY GOD! SURE! I’D LOVE TO! I HAVEN’T PLAYED IN FOREVER! CAN WE GO NOW? NO. NOW IT’S TOO LATE. TOMORROW?! ARE YOU FREE TOMORROW? Sorry. I got carried away. You obviously have better things to do tomorrow. It’s Sunday, Allan, come on.’

He was just too cute I didn’t know how much longer I could hold it. I just smiled.

‘Allan,’ I loved saying his name. ‘By now you know more than enough that no, I don’t have better things to do.’ I laughed. ‘Tomorrow it is, then. Come in the morning, we can spend the day playing.’

He looked so excited. I have to say part of me wanted to accept the tonight offer, but playing video games is not how I picture my nights with him.

Soon we left and as we hugged goodbye, I said:

‘Now I’ll go home to sleep a lot so I can be fresh and ready to be humiliated tomorrow. Have a great night.’

‘I already had,’ he said, climbing the bus, and he was gone.