Stephen glanced at Maliah as they took a walk around. She seemed spaced out all throughout the evening. He looked away before absently pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. Maybe the restaurant wasn’t to her liking. He took a peek at her. No, he wasn’t fool enough to not realize that Maliah had been off ever since he picked her up for their date. He absently reached up and ran a hand through his shorn head.
In all the time that Stephen had known her, Maliah had never looked like this. Granted he only worked with her in the last year that she has joined their office, so that may not have counted for much but so far, she had not even taken any sick days.
Yet, tonight was the sickest that he had seen Maliah look before. He was concerned that her mocha skin seemed to lack a glow that was always present. Even as they exited the restaurant, Stephan made sure to stay close to her. He was concerned that she might begin to sway at any moment, yet she hadn’t so far.
Stephen had been looking forward to going on a date with Maliah. He wasn’t for office romance preferring to keep personal and private separate but in the last year the young woman made an impression on him although she never tried. Maybe that was why, because she never tried, like some of the other women in the office that to this day still got on his nerves.
He was aware of his title of being a bit of a jerk in the office but that was because he liked to keep a sense of professionalism that others seem to want to play around with. However, because of that and his natural reserve, it took him quite a bit of time to get up the courage to ask Maliah out. He could see that she was shocked and he gave her some time to think about it. He fully expected to get an answer the last minute but the next day she agreed. Maliah seemed amicable to it, yet even then Stephen sensed something was off.
But this evening, Stephen could help but to wonder what exactly was wrong. Yet, he was loathed to pressure her. She might be dealing with some personal issues. He knew if it was him, he wouldn’t want someone all up in his business.
Clearing his throat he gave a small smile, “Maliah?”
Said woman looked up at him and seemed to blink at him a little owlishly.
“Are you sure you are okay?” Stephen asked forgoing his original comment of enjoying the date. Looking at her, it was clear, whether because of him or her personal issues she was not really here.
Maliah gave a smile that Stephen could tell was forced, “Yes, I’m okay.”
Stephen really couldn’t do this anymore. He stopped and lifted his hand a little. Maliah looked up at him surprised but turned to him with confusion in her eyes.
He scrunched his face and narrowed his eyes down at her, “You aren’t sick, are you? If you are you don't have to hide it.”
Maliah shook her head, “No, no. I’m not sick….I’m….” suddenly she gave a violent shiver unable to hide it.
Maliah had felt cold today from the moment she woke up. She remembered the first Saturday that Abioye and her spent together. She was cold that day as well but it didn’t last as long because Abioye had shown up then.
He didn’t today.
As her day continued, she felt colder and colder making her break out one of her heavier sweaters. Nothing that would raise an eyebrow in August. However it did not help. By the time Stephan came to pick her up, all Maliah wanted to do was lay down and sleep. But she forced herself to come out anyway.
Now she was regretting it.
Stephen pulled off his jacket and wrapped it over Maliah’s shoulders shushing her, “Maliah, whether it’s me, this date or something else, it’s obvious that something is bothering you.”
He saw her getting ready to get riled up but he held up his hand and continued, “If it’s personal and you don't want me to know that’s fine. I won’t ask if you don’t want to tell me. I just want you to know that I hope that maybe, we can go out again. Unless you really think already that we might not have any common ground to stand on, maybe we can go out when you are feeling better.”
Stephen smiled down at her, “Why don’t I take you home and we call it a night?”
Maliah looked up at him guilt in her eyes but slowly nodded her head. The ride home was in silence. Maliah knew that she had been feeling out of it all evening and it wasn’t fair to Stephen. She felt guilter knowing that he wasn’t going to pry yet obviously leaving a way for her to tell him if she wanted. But how could she? How could she tell him what was wrong?
Maliah knew then that she never should have agreed to come out on this date, least of all on Saturday. But a part of her wondered if it would have been any better any other day of the week. It wasn’t just the cold but the pinch in her chest that continued from this morning after Abioye didn’t show up. Maliah honestly didn’t know if he would or not, not after their argument. Part of her hoped he wouldn't, the other part hoped he would.
But as late morning became afternoon it was clear that Abioye wasn’t going to show up. She knew she should have felt relief, yet she felt nervous for some reason. She tried to pass it off as that’s why she couldn't stop thinking about Aboye all day. Even going so far as kept surreptitiously checking around to make sure that he wasn’t around. She couldn’t help it. She hadn’t seen him, it was only natural.
That’s what she told herself.
But then throughout her date, to Maliah’s guilt, she realized that she committed the worst sin. She kept comparing Abioye to Stephen and that wasn’t fair.
Stephen was a good man, as evident by his unwillingness to pry, yet leaving it open for her to tell him if she wanted. He even wanted to go on another date, willing to chalk this up to her not feeling good. He was a considerate man.
But he wasn’t Abioye.
Maliah felt comfortable with Stephen as much as a co-worker would and didn’t have any bad thoughts about going on a date with him. Yet, on the date she realized that she didn’t feel that same level as comfort as she had developed with Abioye. It was something that she hadn’t even realized until today.
Something as simple as when Stephen picked her up, there was an awkward silence that lasted until they got to the restaurant. It reminded her of when Abioye first came to her apartment. They had managed to dispel their awkwardness quickly. From then on, she and Abioye could spend an absorbent amount of time in complete silence and it was completely fine.
When they were at the restaurant Maliah had decided to order some tea with her meal. Stephen had been surprised. Apparently he only drank tea when he had a cold. Which was fine, but when Maliah tasted the tea the first person she thought about was Abioye. At that moment, she wanted to tell Abioye about how delicious the tea was. Then they would probably discuss how it could be better or not.
This was not fair to Stephen. He was a good man, calm and reserved man. She had never seen him in comfortable clothes as they dressed professionally at work. Even now he was dressed in white dress shirt and dark pants almost like he did in the office.
But there was something about Abioye that drew her. Maybe because he was a Death Prince but he had a noble bearing, a haughtiness that sometimes got on Maliah’s nerves. Yet at the same time, Abioye did not waste words. If he felt there was something to say, he would say it.
At the end of the day, it boiled down to a level of comfort that she had unknowingly developed with Abioye. With him she didn’t feel the need to try and impress and because of that sense of comfort she wasn’t sure if she could make it with another. In fact, she hadn’t made it with Abioye.
It just happened.
“We’re here.”
Stephen’s announcement made Maliah looked up startled. She bobbed her head when she realized that he was right. And the awkward silence started.
Or did it continue? Maliah realized she was too deep into her head on the ride home.
“Um, I’ll see you Monday, I guess.” Maliah said by way of goodbye.
Stephen nodded, “Naturally. And I expect whatever you chose that it won’t disrupt our professional life.”
Maliah gave a small genuine smile then, “Yea, agreed.”
They looked at each other before quickly looking away. Maliah scrambled out the car and gave a small wave. Stephen returned it before driving off without so much a backwards glance. Although she needed to go to bed at the moment, she really needed to clear her head, so she decided to take a stroll around the complex.
As she walked aimlessly down the street, she finally took out her phone: 8:25pm. She gave a sigh. The last several hours had become a giant blur to her.
But her guilt grew, magnified by her tendency to overthink. She never should have gone on a date with Stephen. She could only pray that come Monday there wouldn't be so much awkwardness. She treated him horribly. She shouldn't have been that obvious with her feelings. She should have tried to act like she enjoyed the date even if she had no plan to go on another.
Maliah shivered. Why was it so blasted cold? It was August for crying out loud. She rubbed at her chest. Even if she wasn't feeling good, it was no excuse as to why she spent almost all her date thinking about Abioye. So what if she and Abioye had established a sense of peace between them? So what if she was loathed to admit that she felt more comfortable with him than she ever felt with anyone else? So what if the silence between them were golden for her, unawkward, peaceful and welcomed? And so what if Abioye and her could sit for hours without saying a word to each other.
So what…?
Malian couldn't help but to think of the future. Perhaps it has taken a little over a year but the reality of it all was suddenly crashing down around her. How would she be able to keep the secret of Abioye for her entire life? She couldn't even concentrate on the date today.
And she didn't want to end up alone.
That was one of her greatest fears: to die alone.
But strangely she didn't feel lonely with Abioye even if he acted crusty in her opinion. She hadn’t realized that she had begun to look forward to him coming even if they didn't do much. Drinking tea had never been as fun as it was until now that she had someone to drink it with. But she knew that Abioye didn't see it that way, and she couldn't blame or hate him for that. She was an imposition in his life and after having a better clue as to what happened to his mother, because of humans, she couldn't blame him.
Yet not for the first time today did she feel a sense of longing that she wished that this Saturday would have been like it had been for the past year. Even those times that they had gone out on Saturday had filled her with a sense of joy. Like the first time Abioye had to tag along with her to the store. He had been, as usual, quite grumbly but she wouldn't have had the memory of a Death Prince helping her put the groceries in her car. He claimed it was in the interest of time but Maliah knew better. She had to buy two cases of water and was loathed to figure out how to get it into her basket. She had turned away, for reasons she couldn’t remember now, for barely a moment and when she looked back two cases of water had been moved into her basket. She had felt nothing. No heaving, not basket rattling. Nothing. When she processed what could have happened, she looked up at Abioye who was already walking off. Her thank you had been met with a stony silence but she didn’t mind.
Maliah gave a small laugh at the memory. She hated that she would give anything to see Abioye’s usually haughty look. He had a soft side that she witnesses with her mother. A keen sense of understanding that she had yet to come across in another. That was the day she felt endeared to him a little. But he wasn't here. And he probably wouldn't come.
Maliah rubbed her chest a little harder as suddenly dark spots danced in her eyes as she came to the crosswalk. Maybe she needed to get back home. Her breath hitched. She had only been walking. Why was she getting out of breath? Shaking her head, she looked left and then right just before walking across.
However halfway over she stumbled having to stop as her world spun. She tried to shake it off, running her hands through her short hair. She hunched over as suddenly her muscles seemed to contract together. Lights entered her perpetual vision and she tried to straighten but was unable to. Maliah managed to turn her head towards the light. For a brief moment, her vision cleared as she saw an oncoming car. Deep within her she knew she should move but she felt frozen. Then her world went black and she crumpled to the ground.
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