I sucked in a breath, the snow from Simon’s hair dripping onto my glasses.

I looked at the way his hair curled, damp from the melting snow. The image of Simon coming into the living room after his shower flooded my mind. I felt my fingers twitch inside my mittens, wanting to tuck a loose strand behind his ear. To touch his cheek…

Before I could think any more on the matter, my glasses nearly fogging from the heat of my flush, Maya came running over to us. “Daddy! Daddy! What happened? You okay? Did you fall?”

Simon looked up, his daughter’s interruption finally shaking him back to awareness. He blinked down at me in surprise, “Oh- jeez, I’m sorry! You must be freezing,” he stammered, apologizing as he got to his feet.

There was suddenly a rush of cold as his weight was lifted from my chest. Clearly flustered and unable to look at me, he held his hand out to help me up.

As I clumsily got to my feet, I watched as Simon said to Maya, “We’re okay, sweetheart. Just goofing around in the snow.” He gave me an awkward smile. “I… I’m really sorry. Bear gets too excited sometimes, and I wasn’t paying attention.”

I blushed, clearing my throat as I watched Bear circle us in large bounds, kicking up snow as he barked. “It’s fine, really,” I insisted, though the snow had gone down my shirt and was now uncomfortably melting. “Besides, saved you from getting destroyed by my truly epic snowball throwing skills.”

We shared a look of disbelief, both of us smiling.

Simon seemed momentarily unsure if I was really alright, offering, “You want to go get hot chocolate? Help warm you up a little since we tried to turn you into an icicle.”

I shivered, nodding. I was about to verbally agree with him when I glanced down at Maya, giving her a smile. “What about you? Would you like to play a bit more or go for hot chocolate?”

“Play!! Play!” Maya called, grabbing Simon’s jacket as she dragged him back towards the playground.

“Well, that answers that,” I said, happy to see Maya so excited.

I hung behind for a moment, brushing snow off of my coat as I watched Simon run after her, Bear racing behind them.

Finding a bench nearby and clearing off the snow, I sat there as I followed Maya’s small figure racing over the jungle gym and zooming down the slide, completely oblivious to the wet cold. My eyes found Simon’s carefree face, observing him from a distance. Here, Maya was far from the quiet kid she always was in class. She was enjoying herself so much that it was worrying Simon when she hung precariously from icy bars; small hands clenched tightly to keep her from falling to the ground.

Neither of them looked back at me.

They were a happy family. I was glad to see their moods lift when they both seemed to struggle so often. Still, for the first time that day, I felt the cold start to settle into me as I watched them.

Simon didn’t need me to watch Maya; he caught her himself when Bear bumped her off the slide. And she didn’t need me to make snow angels with her. They would have been having just as much fun without me… and it stung.

I watched them for a long time, no one coming to ask me to join them.

I closed my eyes, my brows tight as I remembered Simon as a child…a group of friends were always following him around. Girls.

Amber.

Catching myself, I shook my head and banished any thought that would insult her memory. It didn’t matter that he chose them—that he chose her. Simon had loved Amber. She had made him happy and that was what mattered. That was what he had wanted in his life… and Maya missed her so much. It killed me to see when either of them was unhappy.

Before I knew it, it had started to snow again. Tiny slow flakes drifted to the ground and soon Maya looked exhausted. Simon had the red-faced, tired girl in his arms when he finally came back over to me. His breath hit the air in puffs of steam, but he smiled past his panting. “Hey, sorry, she had me so preoccupied. She’s a ball of energy,” Simon said, laughing when his daughter whined at the playful insult. “She needs to warm up, ready for that hot chocolate?”

I nodded, about to answer when Simon started walking ahead, negotiating with Maya about the number of marshmallows she’d get in her cup of hot chocolate.

My smile faded.

The thought of going home crossed my mind for a split second, but then I did what I had always done—since the first day I even met Simon. I picked up my feet, shoved my hands in my pockets, and followed behind him.