*Panic attack warning*

Chapter 7

Someone touched my shoulder and I flinched, backing up to the wall as if I had been burned.

“Max….?” I could hear Jay ask slowly.

He had been the one to touch me.

I stared at him, my eyes full of water.

Sarah came over to the bed, looking me up and down and yanked my shirt up roughly, letting out a gasp.

“Holy shit it's Max.”

She must have seen the tattoo, she had been with us when we both had gone to get them.

We had gotten it from a guy here inside the walls after the apocalypse happened and she wanted to make sure we wouldn't get infected from shitty equipment.

I was still crying as my mind was being bombarded with memories.

I had gotten bit on a mission, one I shouldn't have even gone on.

One of the soldiers had offered to take me out to see a place I was interested in since it was near where they wanted to loot.

I wasn't supposed to go outside though, my work was in agriculture and mechanics.

I couldn't remember much else past it though.

My head hurt so bad I couldn't even think straight.

I sniffled and even though I didn't have my muzzle on Jay and Sarah were next to me not even caring that I could be a danger to them.

But honestly I wasn't.

I hadn't had the urge to bite any of them for a long time.

How long was I even here?

What day no what YEAR was it?

How long had I been sick outside?!

It was a very long time…..

I was struggling to breath as I had a panic attack from memories and shock.

I wasn't even sure what even was going on but I eventually blacked out.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!” I was startled awake by a roar.

My head ached but my eyes widened, recognizing the voice.

It was Henry.

I struggled to sit up, my hands were still bound and I had been muzzled in my sleep.

I was extremely pissed but knew they had good reason to.

I just didn't want Henry to see me like this…

“What the hell do you MEAN you found Max and have been USING HIM TO TEST YOUR FUCKING CURE!?” The pure venom in his voice caused me to flinch.

“...I didn't know it was Max until now… he didn't look anything like himself when we brought him here…” Sarah’s voice was small.

“Fucking HELL…. Why would you make the man who fucking SAVED all of us from starvation and got started on water systems during this mess! NOT TO MENTION THE MAN I LOVED DEAL WITH BEING EXPERIMENTED ON! Why the hell didn't you JUST! Put him out of his….misery….” Henry choked.

I felt tears spring into my eyes.

“I- I didn't know…” Sarah’s voice was even smaller, and it was only from my heightened senses that I could tell what she had said.

I felt close to a panic attack, letting out harsh pants as I backed up to the bed.

“How long has he been here!?” Henry hissed.

“.....9 months…”

9 months… almost a full year….how long had I been sick though?

The rubix cube was on the table still and blindly I grabbed it, needing something to do to keep the impending panic attack at bay.

My fingers moved at an insane speed, solving and messing it up over and over.

“Where is he?” Henry said quietly after a moment.

Oh dear God I did not want him to see me during a panic attack.

He had helped me through many before but I didn't want our first meeting after so long when he assumed I was basically dead to be during when I was freaking out.

Fantastic way to meet your past love of since you were 14 after being thought of as dead for….how long?

No idea but I was sure as shit freaking out.

I thought I was going to vomit but would be a terrible idea given the muzzle.

“He's just a little ways down the hall….”

“And so……..you're saying you think it's...working?” Henry choked out the last part.

I winced and closed my eyes.

Yes 100% whatever the hell Sarah had been sticking into me was working I could vouch.

Or could I?

I haven't talked in who knows how long?

My vocal cords were destroyed and I wasn't sure if I remembered how to write or how letters even looked.

I still couldnt tell what fucking time it was on the stupid time tellin- ok no its a clock.

I STILL COULDNT TELL TIME ON THE FUCKING CLOCK.

I was shaking.

“Yes….”

“BULL FUCKING SHIT.” His voice made me flinch again.

“Don't you dare give me any hope when I know it's impossible.” Henry hissed.

I was still crying, stuck between trying to figure out some way to hide and wanting to tell him that I was here and yes it was working.

Problem was I was chained to the bed only able to go a little bit away and I still had no clue if I would be capable of writing.

Talk?

HAH.

I coughed weakly, trying to see if maybe my voice would magically appear.

I let out a few more coughs, trying to remember how words worked and was not surprised when I couldn't even form a hi.

I was hoping for at least a hi.

My fingers were shaking as I held the cube, no longer solving it.

Just staring down at it all jumbled up.

Like me.

“Do you not want to at least see him?” Sarah asked quietly.

I froze.

Oh dear God Sarah WHY.

I couldn't hear if Henry had replied or not so I assumed he was desperately fighting in between saying yes or no.

I had no clue what I wanted him to say.

I definitely wanted to see him but at the same time I was also in the middle of a freak out.

Again not a great way to greet the man you loved since you were 14.

How fucking old was I?

Needless to say I was a mess and didn't want to be seen as such.

Plus I hadn't remembered loving him until like…….how long ago did I pass out?

HaHA…..

I needed a day or two at least.

Please.

I rubbed at my eyes, trying to calm down.

I got my sleeve wet and I was sure my eyes were still milky, not even looking human but maybe after more treatments I would look normal?

Or at least closer.

Dear God…..please help me, I bet I looked awful.

“Yes…..” Henry’s voice was hoarse and so quiet I barely made it out.

I let out a choking sob.

I wanted to hide or scream or both.

I rubbed at my eyes again, trying to calm myself.

I stared down at the cube, solving and messing it up as I could hear their footsteps.

My speed picked up and I was almost angrily working on it as the cell door opened.

I desperately wanted to look up and see Henry, especially since I had no memory of what he even looked like.

But I was worried about breaking down in front of him and him freaking out over my eyes.

But still I wanted to see his face so badly it physically hurt.

Instead I angrily was on the verge of destroying the cube, keeping myself sane with the task.

Not that it was a hard task mind you.

“Hah…..hes…..” His voice caused me to pause, staring down at the cube as my hands shook.

“Yeah…. He…. solved it in a few seconds before having a panic attack earlier.” Sarah said quietly.

“He was always fast at it….”

I swallowed and got back to my task.

“He had been given it before and didn't seem to care about solving it until this morning but then one of the men messed it up and he solved it in maybe 5 or 6 seconds in front of us.”

I could feel Henry's eyes on me and it took all my willpower to not look over.

“Whys he got a mask on but his hands are free….or somewhat free?”

“It's been pretty recent that he's been acting somewhat normal so…. It's mostly a precaution but he's bored so…. Half bound?” Sarah said.

I listened as steps, heavier not Sarahs came towards me and my hands paused, shaking uncontrollably.

Slowly I felt his hand in my hair, giving me a gentle tug, wanting me to look up but I refused.

I sat tensed and hunched over.

He was wearing black boots and a pair of dark jeans.

I tried to focus on the space between his feet as he stood in front of me.

His hand gently ran through my hair.

It was warm and I could feel my entire body shaking in both panic and need.

He probably could feel it too.

After a moment he spoke.

His voice was shaky and haunted as I could tell he was calling for me.

“Max?”

I let out a choking sob and dropped the cube.

I backed up on the bed, hitting the wall.

My eyes were shut and I covered my face with my bound hands.

“...Maxy…?” I heard him climb on the bed, his voice was softer and in disbelief.

His hands grabbed mine and I let out a noise something similar to a whine as he pulled them away from my face.

He could easily get cut by my fingernails if he wasn't careful and I wanted to yell at him to let go but I couldn't speak.

I turned my hands into fists, scared I would hurt him.

“Maxy?” I knew he was right in front of my face, begging me to say anything, do anything, or at least look at him.

The chains on my hands rattled lightly as I tried to figure out what to do.

“Maxy….if… if you're there I….I need you to tell me.” He choked.

I remembered suddenly that even if you can't talk or write you can still nod.

Slowly I nodded my head, letting out a sob.

I heard him take a sharp breath.

I couldn't smell anything anymore from all the crying but I was glad almost that I couldn't smell him anymore or it might make my crying worse.

But at the same time I wanted to.

I also wanted to look at him.

“Maxy please look at me.” He begged.

I shook my head no.

Hell no no no no.

“Why not?”

I wanted to express why, my eyes were all fucked up and I didnt want to scare him but I was also sure if I saw him I would completely melt down.

Though I was kind of already doing that.

“Henry, his eyes haven't...changed…. back...I don't know if they ever will….there a bit shocking honestly and I think he knows that.”

“...Can he see?” Henry asked after a moment.

“From what i've seen, yes but his eyesight is a bit iffy.”

“Talk?”

“...Not that any of us have heard but were still doing treatments, he might regain the ability to talk and his eyes might get better. Today was kind of a huge breakthrough, it's probably the first time we have seen him expressing emotions so vividly. He got confused a lot in the beginning and reacted to pain whenever I had to give him medicine...but he got angry when one of the soldiers messed up the rubix cube and well… this...now..”

She didn't have to point my freaking out, he could clearly see it.

“Does he remember me?” He asked shakily.

I nodded my head before she could respond.

“Ah...seems so.” Sarah said.