*Ryland’s POV*

It wasn't until much later that night that I saw him for the second time. Insomnia had always plagued my sleep, which resulted in nightly walks around the pack. No one else was around, which made him stand out all the more.

He was sitting on a bench, alone, staring at the sky in deep, contemplative thought. I felt it again — that pull towards him — and I found my feet moving on their own accord, taking me to him.

"Hello," I said. "I'm Ryland Amb—"

The word got caught in my throat when he turned his head to look at me. His heterochromic black and blue eyes locked with mine. The connection was instantaneous, filling my veins with fire as the bond formed.

'Mate! Mate, mate, mate!' River exclaimed gleefully. A smile broke out across my face.

My mate.

He was really my mate!

My mate stared back at me with a blank expression. I almost thought he didn't feel the bond like I did.... that is, until he opened his mouth and delivered that soul-crushing vow.

"With the Moon as my witness," he began in a deep voice, making my stomach plummet, "I hereby reject you as my mate. May we be punished as our Goddess sees fit."

Pain shot through my body, bringing me to my knees as River howled in anguish. River howled louder and louder until it sounded like he was screaming in my head. I covered my ears, tears streaming down my cheeks from the pain coursing through my body, and the agony of hearing my wolf screaming. I looked up frantically, trying to find someone — anyone — to come save me.

But I was alone.

He was gone, vanished as soon as I had crumpled to the ground. Did he not feel the pain I did? Was his heart not tearing in half, in the same way that mine was?

My claws began to elongate, canines sharpening and protruding longer than ever before. My bones cracked painfully as I shifted by force, and I released an agonizing howl.

And then everything went dark.

When I came to, I was laying on a bed in the pack house. Our Alpha and Luna were standing around me, relief flooding their faces when I opened my eyes.

"His eyes are back to normal, at least," Thomas observed. Charlotte nodded in agreement.

"That's a positive sign. Something must have stopped the transformation before it completed," Charlotte said.

I blinked at both of them. "What are you talking about?" I asked, my voice a hoarse whisper.

"Ryland," Thomas started, sitting on a leather chair next to the bed. "What is the last thing you remember?"

The memory hit me like a truck, and a tear slipped down.

River's screams.

The horrendous pain.

The rejection.

"Rejected," I whispered. "He rejected me. I... he didn't even tell me his name, or try to get to know me. Just shattered our bond without a second thought." More tears started streaming down my cheeks as the memory flashed through my mind.

"What else?" Charlotte pressed, with sadness laced behind her eyes.

I slowly shook my head. "I don't remember. I think I was starting to shift, but that's it. After that... it's blank. Nothing. Why? What's happening?"

Charlotte gingerly sat on the edge of the bed, taking my hand in hers. "Ryland... your wolf has gone feral."

I stared at her blankly, a dry chuckle briefly escaping me. "W-What?"

The leaders exchanged looks, tears welling up in Charlotte's eyes. "We've heard of this happening to rejected wolves before. Their wolves can't take the pain and end up feral. I'm... I'm so sorry this happened, Ryland."

"No... no. That's impossible. Everyone knows that when a wolf goes feral, the human side goes crazy, too. And I'm not crazy. I feel mostly fine, all things considered."

"We don't know what happened, either," Thomas spoke up. "Your eyes were glowing red when we found you, and now they're normal. But judging by the blood on your fur and the way you tried to attack us, your wolf has without a doubt gone feral."

"Woah, woah, wait," I stopped him, my eyes widening with panic. "My eyes were red? You found blood on my fur? What the hell happened?"

"We don't think you hurt anyone, but you did slaughter a few dozen wildlife. We got reports of a wild animal killing deer and other creatures in the forest. When we found you, you tried to attack us. You didn't recognize us, Ryland. We had to summon a witch we can trust. She cast a spell to put you under, giving us the chance to bring you back here. You're lucky your wolf didn't attack anyone else. Things would have really escalated in that case."

No. That's not true. It can't be. It can't...

'River?' I mentally called out. 'River, what happened? Are you okay? Come on, talk to me!'

An angered snarl rang in my mind, making me jump in fear. My eyes darted between the leaders frantically. "What's going on?! Why won't River talk to me?!"

"Ryland, take deep breathes," Charlotte instructed calmly. "We told you, your wolf has gone feral—"

"No, no, no!" I panicked. "I heard you say that, but... he's really not responding! He's... this— this is really happening?"

River.

My wolf.

My best friend.

He's... he's gone.

Sobs wracked my body, making my entire form shake as I wailed. My heart pounded painfully in my chest as I felt the anxiety rushing through me. Before I could reach a full-blown panic attack, it was as if I had been hit by lightening. A jolt of electricity shot down my spine, making me scream. The source was coming from around my neck. Amidst all the revelations and shock, I hadn't noticed the slight extra weight of leather on my neck.

"What is happening?!" I screamed, scrambling off the bed. Thomas reached out for me, only to yelp in pain when the contact shocked him, like he touched an electric fence.

"The witch," Thomas said, shaking off his hand. "She made that collar to prevent you from shifting. If it detects your body is getting worked up to the point of shifting, it delivers a shock to stop it. It's the only way we can make sure you don't accidentally shift and hurt someone."

'River!!' I screamed feebly.

This couldn't be happening.

This had to be a nightmare.

Please, someone say it's a nightmare.

Wake me up, and tell me none of this happened.

Five years later, and I'm still waiting for someone to wake me from this fucking nightmare.