“Nikola’s pretty quiet off ice,” Riley replied as Kalmin and he washed dishes.

“That’s…actually surprising,” Kalmin commented. “He’s always screaming and bickering and rough with the others.”

The captain laughed and rolled his eyes. “Fuck, I know. I chewed him out for it a while back so he’s a little bit more subdued, but yeah, I saw the nasty hit you took last week- he can be impatient and take out his anger on anything that stands in his way.”

“That’s not a good way with coping with anger,” Kalmin commented quietly.

Riley smirked. “Gonna go off on a rant about societal pressures men and women have and how men are basically trained to cope with stress in violent ways?”

Kalmin barked a laugh. “You’re never going to let me live are you?”

In his first year and when Riley was in his second, the team at the time were having a hard time through Provincials. If they lost one more game, they weren’t going to make it to the east coast in spring, and boys were getting frustrated with each other. A full-on brawl started with their last opposing team, and in the locker rooms the team was pitting each other against one another, blaming each other for their mistakes. Fights were happening, and Kalmin got in the middle and took a hit. He snapped after that and blacked out. Next thing he remembered was that he was on top of the benches, screaming at the top of his lungs about how stupid everyone was being and recited some essays he did in Gender and Sexuality Studies about toxic masculinity. The room went absolutely quiet until the seniors broke it with laughter and eased the whole tension around the situation. They ended up winning Provincials that season.

Afterwards, Riley and the others would never let him forget his blow-up, always quoting memorable lines from his rant like, “hurting each other is hurting yourself” or “you’re a fucking coward and not a man if you can’t deal with your anger in a safe way.”

To this day, Kalmin didn’t really know if his teammates actually understood what he had said or if they were making fun of him, but people like Riley didn’t stop him from saying it. They didn’t call him a bitch or a social justice warrior. They respected his opinion. They respected him. And that was all he could ask for.

Riley chuckled. “We all go through it eventually, some late than others. Be kind to him though, there’s a reason coach picked him. Talk to him-get to know him- off ice. Like I said, he’s not a bad dude. Rough around the edges, but not a nasty kid. Hell, if Theo can stand him, then he has to be chill.”

“How’s Theo?”

“I’ve gone through the procedures you’re doing right now. I know of the rumours. Asked the kid if he wanted to switch rooms and the answer was ‘no’ every single time. Don’t know what goes on behind those doors. Who knows, since Theo’s gay, maybe they’re banging the shit out of each other at night,” Riley joked.

Kalmin cringed. No one can be perfect, even the captain. “Not all gay dudes prey on every dude he sees. I don’t sleep with the team even though I like dudes.”

Riley paused and considered his joke. “Fuck, yeah, you’re right. Sorry, man, you know what I mean. Nikola’s probably fine, Theo’s probably fine, and you know what I think? I think Nikola’s being targeted to be seen as the bad guy because he’s one of the top freshmen right now. Being that aggressive and good makes enemies. Hell, maybe Nikola’s like your Deimos.”

Kalmin stopped drying the plates and looked at his captain with wide eyes.

“M-My Deimos?” He choked out, obviously blushing.

Riley looked confused. “Yeah, your Deimos. Kid you always sleep over at? Mob Killer? Greek Psycho? God of Destruction kind of guy but actually a nice bro? You told me one time he’s rough around the edges but actually a big ol’ sweetheart beneath all that leather.”

Kalmin swallowed thickly and quickly looked at the plates. “O-Oh, Deimos. My Deimos,” he repeated, a little shocked saying it.

“Yeah, Deimos. Dude you always swap clothes with? You’re literally wearing one of his pink polos as we speak,” Riley pointed out.

“I-I don’t own him…” Kalmin muttered.

“You guys are a set, man, every time I see you on campus you’re with him. He’s yours and you’re his, hence, your Deimos.”

“Does everyone think this?!”

“Yes?” Riley laughed. “But don’t worry, I always correct the kids that Deimos is straight and is dating that Mira girl.”

“Deimos is bi, actually,” Kalmin said, in a quieter voice.

Riley’s eyes widened. “Wait, what?”

“Deimos is bi,” Kalmin said a little louder.

“Are you dating him?”

Kalmin paused for a moment. Yes, he is.

“I’m not! Don’t assume that all queer people are dating each other!” He blurted out instead, embarrassed to high hell. Even though he’s said no so many times, this one still hurt. Maybe because Kalmin was actually close with Riley and could tell him all his secrets except for one. One being he’s technically polyamorous. And knowing that Riley still can’t completely get over gay stereotypes definitely meant he wouldn’t be able to comprehend a non-monogamous relationship. Or maybe Kalmin was just not trusting him. He didn’t know. Kalmin was a coward.

Riley laughed. “Ok, ok, sorry. Yeah, Mira and Deimos are dating, I should just trust you. It’s just that there’s stories of gay dudes dating girls to hide the fact they’re gay and secretly dating another guy.”

“Maybe in the 50s but I’d like to assume we’ve moved on from that?” Kalmin replied. Fuck, Riley was receptive. It wasn’t far from the truth except Kalmin was head over heels in love with Mira too. “Anyways, we’re getting off this topic, ok, thank you for letting me know about Nikola’s situation. I never thought about the fact that he might be the one being targeted.”

“The best ones are the most damaged,” Riley said dramatically.

Grinning, Kalmin rolled his eyes and set down the last plate. He said his farewells to his captain and wandered around the dorm for a bit, popping in and out of study rooms gathering just a little bit more intel on his two new teammates that were slowly feeling like his children the more he asked about them. He was definitely feeling some Finding Nemo vibes as he questioned everyone about the whereabouts of Nikola (or in pop cultural fishy terms, “Have you seen my SON!?”) Eventually, Bailey directed him to the rink, as apparently every night instead of sleeping like the rest of the kids, Nikola practiced for an hour or so.

“It’s the middle of Exam Month, get some rest!” Kalmin shouted at him from the stands.

To most people, the rink looked eerie at night. Only a few lights lit up the ice, and the stands were shrouded in darkness. Yet, this felt like home. Late night ice sessions were what he lived for, in small doses of course. He remembered gliding on the ice for the first time just like Nikola, free and alone and alive, just listening to the skates scratch across the ice and echo through the empty stadium. He felt like the only man in the world, and when his days consisted of millions of people overloading his system with gossip, rumours and expectations, it was liberating.

Nikola caught his silhouette almost immediately, which was pretty impressive. Kalmin skipped down the steps to the edge of the rink, leaning against the walls with a smile on his face, trying to make himself approachable.

Nikola was in a tank and basketball shorts, his pale skin flushed red and dewy with sweat. With his thin clothing, Kalmin could fully appreciate his forearm sleeve tattoos. They were all black inked, full of complex line art.

Nikola was panting and gasping as he glided up to him, his whole body heaving and a little shake in his hands as he gripped the sides.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, his tone a little harsh. Kalmin probably interrupted a sacred time for him.

“Stopping you from doing something dumb,” he replied bluntly. “It’s Exam Month, provincials are months away, don’t worry about all this rigorous work out right now. You need to pass your classes.”

“I’m fine,” Nikola snapped, wiping the sweat off his brow with his tank.

“What’s your average right now? In all your classes?”

Nikola paused for a moment, glaring at the ground. “80%.”

“And you got in with a scholarship, no?”

“Yeah.”

“Working at all right now?”

“No.”

“Then who’s paying for the tuition?”

“The school and my parents.”

Kalmin paused for a moment and remembered some talks of his parents being filthy rich. He sighed and started up again.

“If you want to keep that scholarship going, you need to learn how to balance your school and your team. And the scale’s tipped. The last thing you need to be worrying right now is hockey. Your average is alright, but if you want that cash from the school, you need to work harder on your studies. Don’t wanna rely on your parents forever, no?”

Nikola was still breathing hard, which proved Kalmin’s point. He looked tired.

“I don’t,” he muttered softly.

Kalmin smiled. He was more understanding than he thought. “Cool down, stretch and come on a walk with me. I’ll buy you a drink.”

Reluctantly, Nikola nodded and slid to the door. Kalmin waited for him outside the changing rooms, lounging on the couch before popping up and joining the first year to the door. It was colder than he expected, snow falling down on the quiet, orange-hued campus. They wandered into the nearest cafeteria, snagging two hot chocolates just before it closed and made the trek up to the dorms once again.

“I like your tattoos,” Kalmin commented as they walked up the steps.

Nikola held the cup with both of his hands, warming them up. It was kind of cute. Like an otter. He glanced at Kalmin briefly.

“Thanks.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what are they about?”

Nikola paused for a moment before pulling his left sleeve up. He showed off his tattoos.

“Leo and Orion,” he said bluntly. Kalmin peered close, seeing a lion and a man fighting, and within their figures, bold constellations. At the bottom of the scene were two thick lines that wrapped around his wrist. “Leo because I’m a Leo and Orion because I…relate to him.”

“What’s the two lines at the bottom represent?”

“Significant dates,” he murmured. “Personal stuff.”

“I get it, no worries. Are you into constellations and star gazing?”

Nikola nodded slowly. “Mom’s an astronomer. Got me into it young. My right sleeve is Aries, for her, as well as Perseus.” He lifted up his other sleeve and showed off a large ram as well as another man dressed in shining armour. Unlike the left design, the animal and man weren’t fighting, but standing triumphantly together.

“Orion is…the Hunter and Perseus is the Hero right?” Kalmin questioned.

Nikola looked surprised. “Yeah. You know astronomy?”

“My girl- o-one of my friends is really into it, star gazing and stuff,” Kalmin said quickly, body bursting into flames because he almost called Mira his girlfriend. Which was true. But also a secret.

Nikola nodded. “I…kind of see Orion and Perseus as halves as one being. They’re opposites, like the sun and moon. Orion’s the hunter, the one that swore with a vengeance to kill every animal on earth, and was sent a scorpion to be killed. He’s anger and rage. And Perseus is the hero, the good guy, who saves more lives than he takes. He’s heroism and respectability and good. Evil and good, and a balance of both on me, to always remind me to…” He traveled off and glanced at Kalmin, a little shy. “To balance things through.”

Kalmin smiled at him. He could see the gears working in his brain and realizing the mistakes he’s done.

“A little bit too much of Orion?”

Regretful, Nikola nodded.

“…Thank you, Kalmin,” he muttered softly.

Kalmin patted him on the back. “We all go through it. I’m here for you. If you’re ever going through any problems, do let me know, ok?”

He nodded.

For a moment, they walked in silence. Winters were always so quiet. Snow always absorbed sound, so the screams and honks from the highway were nonexistent here. It felt like it was just the two of them. It felt like the world stopped moving for a second.

“Do you have any tattoos?” Nikola asked suddenly.

Kalmin laughed. “No, I don’t. Never felt the urge to get one. Well…Before.” He paused for a moment. “Actually, you’re the first person I’ve ever told this to, but I kind of want to get a tattoo now.”

Nikola looked surprised. “Of what? If you don’t mind sharing.”

He chuckled nervously. “Well, it’s nothing as amazing as yours, but I was thinking of getting a little tattoo on the inside of my forearm of the Summer Triangle. Y’know, the constellation?”

Nikola smiled. Kalmin was kind of surprised. He had a cute smile and this might be the first time he’s ever cracked one.

“Deneb, Vega and Altair,” he said, a little excited.

Kalmin smiled. “Yup. I’ve only thought about getting it recently, and I was looking online for ideas and I really like the idea of the constellation but instead of stars connecting the lines, I’d have flowers.”

“Why flowers?”

Kalmin blushed a little and he looked at his feet. For a moment, he contemplated telling Nikola the whole story or only half of it. With the progress he’s going through with Nikola, it’s worth it.

“One of my best friends called me a flower boy,” he smiled sweetly. “I-It was kind of embarrassing at first, but it really meant a lot to me. They said my smile could grow flowers. And that…kind of blew me away. I felt loved and appreciated for the first time in a while.”

Kalmin braced for the negative reaction. He braced for Nikola calling him “gay” or “girly” or “stupid” because of his innocent love for flowers.

But it never came.

“That’s…really sweet,” he replied instead. “I like it.”

Kalmin stared at him, wide-eyed, and felt a big smile tug on his cheeks. He beamed at him. “Thank you,” he said sweetly. “The whole Summer Triangle constellation is connected to a really significant time in my life and each star represents one of us. I’m actually thinking of having each flower represent the three of us. A sunflower, rose and a dahlia.”

A sunflower for Kalmin, the boy of smiles and sun.

A rose for his Rose Boy, Deimos. He always looked good in roses. Beautiful, romantic and passionate. The reddest rose to represent deep emotion, because whether he likes it or not, Deimos was the most emotional out of the three of them. It was both his strength and weakness; deep contemplation and snap judgements.

And lastly a dahlia for Mira, the girl of his dreams, native to Mexico, and meaning many things like standing out from the crowd, kindness, honesty and commitment. Which she was, and what Kalmin and Deimos were awfully grateful for.

“I like it,” Nikola murmured. “If…if you want, I can recommend you some artists in town I trust?”

Kalmin glanced at him with surprise. He smiled wide. “I’d love that.”