"May I come in?" Dean asked after knocking gently on the door to the acrobat's bunk. He smiled as he heard the exaggerated huff from inside the cabin.
"I suppose," Billie replied as Dean pushed open the door. The younger boy was sprawled across his bed, his feet hanging off the end and something that Dean guessed was his mother's photo in his hands.
"You'll wear that picture out," Dean nodded up at Billie as he closed the door behind him.
"Already did," sniffed Billie. "I used to touch my papa's face for luck every time before a show, until I realised my sweat was taking off the colour, now he's just a yellow blotch."
Dean frowned as he climbed the ladder to crawl into the top bunk with Billie, the other boy shifting to make room for him and tacking the photo back up on the wall.
"He's more than a yellow blotch Billie..." Dean began but Billie cut him short again,
"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" Billie whined. "Was I sad when I realised I no longer had a picture of my father's face? Sure - I can tell you I cried my fucking eyes out. But then I realised he was still here, with me in the circus. I see him smiling and laughing every time one of the tents goes up. He used to love it - the sound of the flags flapping in the wind, the men all working together to hammer in the guy ropes."
Billie closed his eyes and swallowed hard, leaning back to nestle his head against Dean's shoulder, "The circus, for me..."
"Le cirque est la famille," Dean said quietly. "I get it. Anita told me, I guess I just never truly appreciated it until now."
Billie turned to bury his face against Dean’s shirt, inhaling deeply as Dean moved to brush his fingers lightly through Billie's hair.
"It still doesn't mean that you have to do the triple back-flip off of Juan's shoulders though," Dean interjected as Billie began to giggle.
"Okay," Billie mumbled, his voice muffled from where he was now pressed with his mouth against Dean's armpit. "I might be convinced to cut that part of the routine."
"Thank you," Dean breathed softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of Billie's head.
"Hey!" Billie murmured. "I said I might be convinced - you've got some convincing to do."
"Oh really?" Dean smirked as Billie drew back to grin up at him.
"Oh crap - your shirt, I'm so sorry!" Billie suddenly exclaimed as he noticed the giant smudge of blue that his face paint had left down Dean's arm and chest.
Dean chuckled affectionately as he nudged Billie's shoulder, "Hey it's okay - Lorraine's got that special soap to wash it off fabric remember? I'll take it to her in the morning."
Billie nodded sheepishly, worrying his lower lip between his teeth.
"I forgot to mention that I liked your costume tonight," Dean added with a smile. "You were a shooting star right?"
"Oh I'm so glad you got it!" Billie laughed, "Juan wanted us to have more white dots so people realised we were stars against the night sky but we didn't have time before the act. Apparently the clowns took extra long with their makeup tonight - something about Frank switching up the roles and having a smile painted on Melvin instead of a 'sad face'."
"Finally," Dean grunted. "That was a serious case of miscasting if ever there was one."
Billie giggled, pressing his nose back against the smudge on Dean's shirt. "You should probably take this off so we can at least dampen it - we wouldn't want the stain to settle."
Dean raised his eyebrows knowingly at Billie, a smirk tugging at his lips.
"What?" Billie exclaimed. "It's a perfectly valid point!"
"Well thank you for being so concerned with my laundry Billie but I can always get the Monday Man to steal me another shirt."
"Hah!" Billie shouted triumphantly. "Spoken like a true Circus folk!"
Dean grinned as he sat upright to pull off the shirt, chucking it across the cabin where it landed half in the water bowl.
"I'm not sure that water's clean..." Billie frowned but Dean turned back to him, cradling his head in his hands.
"Who cares?" Dean murmured, before dragging the other boy into a passionate kiss.
"We-we're going to get face paint on everything!" Billie gasped as he drew back, sliding his body against Dean's, a tell-tale hardness pressing against Dean's thigh.
"Better take everything off then," Dean shrugged with a suggestive smirk, but his expression softened into a reassuring smile as Billie's eyes widened.
"We don't have to do anything you don't want Billie," Dean promised..
"No," Billie replied uncertainly, "I - I want, I mean, I do want to do that with you. " Billie chewed his lip, "I really want to do that with you. Only..."
"Only?" Dean asked, running his fingers up Billie's arm and drawing the familiar patterns, connecting between the freckles dotting the skin.
"Only I'm not completely sure what that is," Billie finished and Dean knew that he would be blushing something rotten underneath the makeup.
"I can show you?" Dean asked, moving up into a feline crouch and kissing a trail down Billie's front, making the other boy arch up and moan. Dean glanced up to see that Billie still looked unsure.
"Or I could explain it to you? I'd tell you anything you wanted to know," Dean offered.
Billie reached down to run his fingers through Dean's hair, smiling fondly as the older boy leant into the touch.
"Just like one of your wolves," Billie grinned, scratching behind Dean's ear. Dean growled playfully, turning to nip at Billie's hand making him yelp and laugh in surprise.
"Finally," Billie sighed happily. "You're in a good mood."
Dean rolled his eyes, "Well, considering Salvatore didn't try to get any of the animals to wig out tonight I figured I'd count it as a win. Plus, the man I love promised me he'd be more careful with his future acrobatic routines, or at least he promised he'd let me try to convince him." Dean grinned as he turned to press a kiss to Billie's open palm.
He looked inquisitively back up at the younger boy a moment later however, after receiving no reply. Billie was lying still, blinking down at him with his mouth hanging open.
"You...you said you love me," Billie whispered.
Dean frowned then huffed, smiling affectionately as he pulled himself up to straddle Billie's hips. "Is that okay?" he asked, cocking his head.
"Is that..." Billie repeated, trailing off with a disbelieving look. "Well I guess it depends."
"On what?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyes.
"On whether you meant it or not," Billie stated firmly, pushing himself up onto his elbows.
Dean let out a long, low breath before ducking forward to capture Billie's mouth with his.
"Oh I meant it," Dean murmured, moving to nose at the spot behind Billie ear. "I don't climb up forty feet of questionable laddering for just anyone you know," Dean muttered.
"I knew you'd gone to double check our rigging earlier!" Billie cried out, slapping Dean's shoulder, "You shouldn't do that - it's dangerous for someone who isn't an acrobat!"
"It's dangerous for anyone without a net," Dean grouched.
"Let's not argue again," Billie sighed sadly, running his fingers up Dean's arm and squeezing his shoulder. "I don't want to ruin this moment, I want to remember the first time you told me you loved me forever."
Dean smiled into Billie's skin, sticking his tongue out and lapping at the warmth there.
"As for…" Billie paused, "doing that. I trust you okay? I mean you seem pretty concerned with my well-being and keeping me safe, I don't believe you would ever do anything to hurt me."
"It always hurts a little the first time," Dean replied, moving to cradle Billie's face in his hands, gazing down at the younger boy. "But I promise I'll stop any time you want me to, and I'll do everything I can to make it good for you."
"I know," Billie smiled softly back up at him. "I know you will."
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