“ This is an orphanage.”

Their words still echo in Sal’s mind. The silence in the room trumped by the repeating images and words in her mind that still knocks and makes itself welcome in the space of her brain. She sat on the floor and plopped her head on the cool floorboards, staring at the black gap under the bed.

“ A place where people who lost their parents can stay until they find a new home. “

She closed her eyes. It is still the same. Either the images or the words assault her senses. It was quiet, she’s alone like how she was in their Casa in a small, closed room. But, this is an orphanage. Again, that word. The crying and murmuring children. It was too much.

A knock came on the door. Ah, she almost forgot. Sal scanned her surroundings and proved that there barely was any written document in sight. What is this place? There should be something in paper proving what this place is. Surely, this is not a place for the abandoned, is not it?

“ Hey, let’s go downstairs. “ It was the lady. No other woman has that almost staccato tone added to the rasp in her voice.

Sal remained lying on the floor. What is she saying? Is she telling her to go out of this room?

“ Sei is already outside. Lunch is ready.”

Sal stared at the open door. It’s too wide. Too exposed. She flitted her eyes closed. At that, an arm pushed her to sit.

“ Look, we cannot stay here. You cannot stay here locked inside this room for the rest of your life.”

No. She’s not locked inside. It’s her cage. It’s her shelter. At this point, the lady might raise her voice, but she will not be truly angry. Then, a sweaty, calloused hand wrapped around hers.

“ Please, let’s go.”

“ Your hand.” Sal only stared at the hand holding hers, feeling sweat and callouses. “It’s sticky.”

The lady huffed at her words. She does not seem pleased, but at least it was enough to make her go. Even though admittedly, what’s wrong in telling someone their hands sweat too much? The lady was about to speak when another voice interjected.

“ Azalea.”

On the door stood a woman whose face reminded Sal of a lost puppy or a background character in an illustration. It was a round woman who stood taller than the lady.

“ But I can-”

“Azalea. I need you to go outside. Understand?” Again, her voice sounded sweeter than the lady’s, but there was something different in the way she spoke different from the lady’s. As she came nearer, Sal backed away. This woman is an adult, unlike the other two. Sal folded her hands in front of her waist, assumed a small bow and avoided looking at the face of the other woman who stood in front of her.

“ You can sit down.” The woman motioned at her. “You’re recovering well, I see.”

Sal mustered a small nod as she sat, her eyes looking for somewhere else to look at.

The woman went on, “ The constable must be helping you a lot. He’s a good boy, even juggling work in the station and helping me out. All the kids love it when he’s around. What will I do without him?”

Sal only agreed feeling exposed even though she could not see the woman look at her.

“ Also, is Azalea treating you right? That girl’s only a child. Sixteen years old at that. Tell me if she’s being harsh on you. “

The door is opened, and going by the small piece of maroon skirt peeking at the edge of the door, the lady did not leave. Her voice is harsh, but Sal kept to herself.

“ Oh my, she must be going hard on you, right? I thought you might be the first to like her because the kids have it hard.”

Sal drifted off as she stared outside on the window, watching the clouds change shape as the woman continued speaking and telling stories and things on the orphanage.

“ And there, the window is still working.” The woman announced as she stood by the window checking its mechanism. Sal does not remember her walking there. ” The window is fine, you can keep it open, but you must close the door often. I’ll tell the two to announce their presence before they come in.”

Why?

“ You have complaints?”

Sal shook her head, quickly shoving down any thought of inquiry. The woman spoke with a slow, steady and calm voice but it was firm. It was like you know you cannot disobey the order. After she bade goodbye and went out, Sal will close the door, like she’s always done. But lo, the lady still was still there sitting on the floor. Ignore. Close the door.

“ This is also my room, “ the lady quipped.

Ah, yes. When the night falls and they thought her asleep, this lady would come in and sleep on the mat on the floor. “ The Madam said to close the door.”

The lady whirled around and stood, facing her,” And you didn’t ask why?”

Sal’s hand fell from the doorknob. She did. She did ask why but for a long time, the orders had to be obeyed. They had to, and for a long time she has supposed that that was the only acceptable reason for things happening. Rules existed just because.

“ You are not hiding. ‘Na Rosa is the one hiding you. One person like me is too much already for this place.”

It was not a foreign idea. Looking at the way the lady paused, as if trying to meet her gaze, Sal had no choice but to slam the door. There were no further intrusions, but looking back, it was the first time the idea was spoken like it was such a bad thing, like she’s the one being wronged.

 ***

Days passed by like stagnant water in the small puddle that was the orphanage until a small ripple rocks the surface. Big, wooden boxes with wheels carrying food would sometimes stop by the place and that was the only disturbance that came in there except for this day. By the entrance of the place, there stood a man carrying a big bag. It was a messenger, no doubt of it.

After a few hours, the noise concentrated on the ground hall. It must be the children. They must all be there now. Sal opened the door slightly, just enough to let the sound in, but the noise devolved into a blur as the Madam spoke the same shallow speech on order and proper behavior. Sounding more and more like the lady from the Casa, but the speech felt more idiotic. But nevertheless, the words were not meant for her, must be speaking idiotic for someone else.

Important. Best. Proper. Those words must have been repeated so many things interjected only with the dragging, high-pitched, synchrounously practiced one word replies of the children. It all revolved around the Visita Ofisyal from the way the term was repeated all throughout. A Signor would surely visit, but it must be with the added baggage of trying to look your best. When the meeting came to a close, Sal again kept to herself alone in the room.

A loud knock came into the door.

“ Open up!” It was the lady.

Sal did not open it, but chose to sit by as the lady kept on insisting.

“ This is bad. The Visita Ofisyal, it’s in a few days!” The lady muttered to herself.

At that, Sal opened the door but keeping a small chest behind it so as to only keep a palm space worth, just enough to see each other’s faces. Sal sat on the floor as she nodded, letting the lady keep on what she has to say.

“ We might not be able to get out of here in the few days before the Signor from the visit comes but I need you to cooperate, so please-” The lady paused, looking straight at Sal’s face. It took her a few seconds to continue. This time speaking in a calmer voice. “ Look. Someone from some office will come to visit the place. If they see us here, we will be -”She paused again, but this time looking strangely at Sal.

“ Is it a matter to be worried of?” Sal asked.

The lady slammed her palm on the floor as she plopped down on the floor, approaching Sal. She could only watch as the lady’s knee edged closer and closer to crossing the doorway. Furrowed brows and a raised voice came at her as the lady continued, “ If it is THAT Signor. No, just any Signor, they will weed us out, throw us away like fleas. You think I have no right to be worried? If they could throw away an ordinary Mutiaran like-”

“ The border, “ Sal said. “You crossed it.” Her knee have met Sal’s finger that was resting on the slit separating the floor of the room from the hallway.

“ Bastard of a border!” The lady clutched at her skirt and stood as she continued on, “ You, you carry on your own then.” Her voice faltered away from its usual loudness and seeming pompousness. As the lady stomped away across the hall. Sal allowed herself a peek from her receding figure.