Soon, the Pink Mohawks found themselves crowded in a tiny office with Wounded and the doctor’s receptionist. No one liked the cramped conditions, but nobody wanted to leave either.
The receptionist sat behind an old desk. Her top arms were held in front of her with her hands together and index fingers touching her lips. Her two other pairs of arms were typing away at four virtual keyboards on desk top.
Anna said, “You’re not a bureaucrat, and you smell too good to be a lawyer. Why can you do for us?”
The receptionist answered, “I am a licensed notary. All the major national governments have recognized the right of Neo-Miami to authorize notaries for the purpose of granting and documenting citizenship. I issue death certificates. I can issue citizenship certificates too, usually when a child is born. I document the beginning and end of a citizen’s legal existence.”
Hogwash said, “Alright, I’m feeling like a third wheel on a unicycle. Anna, we’re waiting outside. Buzz, you stay here with Wounded. Don’t let that notary sell her to a pawnshop.”
The receptionist folded her top arms and furrowed her brow but did not speak.
Buzzard and Wounded watched them leave. Then they turned back to the receptionist. Wounded said, “I’m sorry, ma’am. I didn’t catch your name.”
“Hamsini. It means, ‘one who rides a swan.’”
Wounded said, “Right, Hamsi-siiii? Can you give me a crash course on citizenship? My memory isn’t so great these days.”
Hamsini gave Buzzard an arched eyebrow look.
Buzzard replied, “Please indulge us.”
“Very well,” Hamsini began, “A citizen is member of a particular nation with the rights afforded by that nation’s laws. Back when nations had geographic borders, citizenship was based on the arbitrary notion of where a person was born.”
Wounded agreed, “That’s the way I learned it in Civics Class.”
“That method was stupid. It makes even less sense now when we have A.I.s who live in virtual space but are entitled to citizenship. The First Treaty of Hong Kong recognized that nations were based upon loyalty to the nation and its ideology, not territory. Each person now gets to choose a nation and is responsible for paying taxes to that nation. The nation in turn pays a portion to municipal governments like Neo-Miami to provide utilities.”
Wounded asked, “What's the difference?”
“Some nations have a higher tax burden but offer the best perks. Some nations have wealth redistribution which is structured more socially, and some more capitalistically. Some practice direct democracy, some are republics which hold elections every day, and some their leaders for life. Some have great football teams which place well in the World Cup. Some are known for their robust safety nets, extensive health care, and generosity to the disabled. Some are known for the excellent police forces and tough but fair court systems.”
Buzzard added, “That is of particular interest to you, Wounded. We Uplifts have learned the hard most nations subcontract their policing responsibilities to megacorporations.”
Wounded asked, “Can I see a menu?”
Hamsini shook her head. “Unfortunately, you do not get options. According to the Second Treaty of Hong Kong, citizenship is based upon your metaspecies. You are neither A.I. nor Uplift. The third metaspecies is Transhuman also known as Pan-Sapien or ‘Truman’ for short. A Truman is legally defined by her augmentations, and you have none.”
Buzzard said, “Why are we here if no nation will accept her as a citizen.”
Hamsini answered, “There is one.”
“Oooooh” Buzzard responded.
Wounded’s head moved back and forth as she looked at one and then the other. “What? What?!”
Hamsini told her, “The only nation which doesn’t care about metaspecies is Libertatia. It has a very low tax base but offers basically no benefits. Rich people will file for Libertatian citizenship for their cars or their pet rocks. The Libertatian government doesn’t care because it collects taxes for those citizens and pays back basically nothing in return.”
Hogwild said, “It’s also the favorite choice of organized crime because the Libertatian police force is almost non-existent.”
“True,” Hamsini agreed, “But it is a legitimate nation with a vote in the United Nations.”
Buzzard leaned towards Wounded and said, “The police hate Liberatitians and assume that they are all criminals. Corporate businesses hate Libertatians and refuse to hire them. They have a very bad reputation.”
Wounded said, “It’ll be great to have a reputation. And anyway, I don’t have any choice in the matter, do I?”
Hamsini closed her eyes and brought all of her arms together. “I’m afraid that I don't see any other options. Not holding citizenship is a serious crime because it pushes the policing burden onto the municipal government. You do not want to get caught without citizenship.”
“Sign me up! I’m a loyal Libertat-tan – Libertanese – Libatant – Liboguese?”
Hamsini looked down at her hands as she typed furiously. She said, “Be aware of the Armament Rule.”
Wounded said, “Okay.”
Buzzard asked, “Excuse me, I am not aware. What is that?”
Hogwash answered this question, "Libertatian citizens are legally requrired to carry weapons."
Hamsini without looking up said, “Libertatian Police are spread thin. One of few laws of Libertatia states that citizens are required to arm themselves at all times and use their weapons for self defense.”
Wounded raised her arm with the snake around it. “I’ve got that already. I never leave home without my garrote.”
Buzzard leaned towards Wounded and said, “Little Hatchling, you cannot bring a bracelet to a gun fight.”
Hamsini asked, “Name?”
“My name is Wounded – today.”
Buzzard lowered her beak and shook her head.
Hamsini stopped typing and looked Wounded in the eyes. “I’m not going to type that. That name is gross. Do you have an ancestral or family name?”
“Just me, hot stuff,” Wounded said, then pointed to herself with her thumbs and winked.
Hamsini typed W-I-N-K.
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