“I don’t want to get married,” I whispered and covered my face. “I don’t want this anymore.”

“Then don’t do it.”

“What?”

“Just walk away from it all-”

“I can’t do that.”

He moved to sit beside me and nudged me, “You're going to break someday if you stay and that worries me.”

I turned my head away and took a breath, “Then it's good that this will be the last time you’ll see me.”

“Hey, come on-”

I stood up and turned away from him as I took a step up, “Just go Elliot. I’m sorry that I wasted your day.”

I could hear Elliot call for me and it took a lot for me to not turn around to apologize for my words. Just like my dad said, the next day there was a tutor waiting for me at home and I spent my whole time studying while the rest of the week Dad had a driver taking me to his work; I spent my time learning from his assistant on basic work. When Sunday arrived, I was laying down in the garden staring up at the sky and I just felt so tired. I still couldn’t change Dad’s mind about the marriage arrangement when he informed me that Jennifer will be coming by for dinner this evening.

“It’s been a while since you’ve stopped by,” Mr. Thompson said, walking up to me.

I quickly sat up and I wanted to leave, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. “I’ve just been busy.”

“Elliot told me about your plans,” He said looking at me and I didn’t give a reaction because I figured Elliot would tell him.

“My father’s plan,” I corrected.

He nods, “You know if things don’t work out and you need a breather from everything. My home is open. Elliot wanted to pass that message along and that he hoped that you would reach out whenever you like.”

“Thank you.” I tried not to tear up as I felt this tight knot in my throat and I decided that I had to leave before Dad catches us. “I have to go. Tell Elliot… Tell him that I hope he is well.”

I started walking when I heard Mr. Thompson called me back, “Can I ask you something before you go?”

I pressed my lips together, nodding.

“Do you like my son?”

I was confused for a second and giving a small chuckle, “I-uh… Yeah, yes. I do.”

He looked at me before giving me a nod, “Alright. That’s all I wanted to ask.”

I didn’t see Mr. Thompson for a while and even when I had free time I stayed in my room deciding to use my time studying. Months have passed and I've begun to dread the days because the closer my birthday comes the closer the wedding will be. I still have time to change my dad’s mind, but what was the point if there would be nothing for me if I were to leave and I don’t even know what I would do if I were to get away from all this. I always thought about the words Elliot and I exchanged, they would sometimes feel like it’s haunting me. What if I did walk away as he suggested? What would be different now?

I laid in bed and pulled the covers over myself hoping that I can just sleep for the rest of the day. Jennifer won’t be coming today and Dad left the house so I won’t be expecting him home until late in the evening. I heard a knocking at my door and for a second I was confused when I heard the door opened. Sitting up, I turned to see Elliot stepping in with a tray in his hand and he seemed just as nervous as I am trying to figure out why he is here. He looked around my room before setting the tray on my desk then sat down on the chair and didn’t say anything like he was waiting for me to talk.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to see you,” He said staring at the carpet before looking up at me. “I actually came to drop something off for my dad and the staff said you haven’t eaten today. They were worried.”

“I’m not hungry,” I said and moved to lay down again giving my back to him. “You can leave.”

Elliot didn’t respond and I can hear movements when I felt him sitting at the end of my bed, “I hear that you haven’t been well recently.”

“And?”

He sighed, “They are just worried about you and your health.”

I closed my eyes wishing that I was asleep, “Tell them I’ll eat in a bit. You can leave.”

“Michael,” He mumbles.

I sat up again, facing him, and I was trying not to feel upset, “Please, just go.”

Before I can say anymore, Elliot leaned over and he kissed me. I was confused for a second, almost wanting to continue, but I reached my hand out to push him off me and he pulled away for a second. What made him do this and why is he leaning forward again that I looked at his lips as he kissed me again? He moved a little closer as he kissed me and I reached a hand up grabbing on to his shirt making sure that he stayed beside me, but then I snapped again pulling away. It was like a tug of war inside me; I wanted this, but I know I shouldn’t. I got out of bed before we started anything again and I covered my mouth trying to take a deep breath.

“Where… Where did that come from?” I asked him as I stood by my desk.

“I’m sorry-”

“You think by doing that it’ll fix all this?”

“No! Of course not-”

“I didn’t think you like me that way,” I said, feeling baffled. “Is this your way to convince me-”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Elliot shouted, standing up to face me and it seemed like he was a bit irritated. “I didn’t mean to throw myself on you, but I wanted to do that for a while and I just couldn’t leave without seeing you. I know you’ve missed me as well.”

I stared at him before shaking my head, “I haven’t talked to your dad in months.”

“Because you’ve been hiding in your room,” Elliot replied. “Don’t think the staff knows what’s been going on and you’ve shown them enough that they care about you as well.”

I turned away and sighed, “If you think doing this is trying to prove something for your sexuality or confused you more, don’t put blames on me-”

“I was never going to blame you.” Elliot retorts, walking towards me and I stepped back bumping into the desk. “I missed you and I couldn’t stop worrying about you. I thought it wasn’t fair that I left this house that night with you feeling trapped and shackled to your father like it’s normal. It’s not normal to put up with all that and accept a marriage without your consent.”

“And you kissing me right now without my consent is okay?” I asked him. I felt a bit cornered with him right in front of me and I couldn’t bring myself to step around him. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“I’m sorry… That was never my plan. I just wanted to talk to you and when I saw that you didn’t want to look at me... I was a bit frustrated because I felt like it wasn’t fair that I’ve been worrying about you, thinking about you, and your reaction was to ignore me like I didn’t matter.” He said in a rush that I tried to follow his words and I took a breath hearing his last sentence.

I reached a hand up pushing him back so I can breathe a bit, “I’ve been trying to not think about you… Or hope to see you outside the garden… I really thought that the more I stayed in my room the fewer chances I'd bump into you if you stopped by or if I saw your dad so I can always ask how you were doing.”

“So, you were thinking about me?” He asked, reaching his hand out and I watched him touch my fingers.

I ran my thumb over his hand and held it, “I’ve been trying not to.”

Elliot smiled, enjoying my response, and he looked at me like he’s hesitating. “I didn’t mean to force myself on you like that.”

I leaned my head on his shoulders and closed my eyes. “Are you sure about how you feel?”

“I’m sure of it.”

“I didn’t force these feelings on you because of what is going on and the arranged marriage, right?” I asked.

“No. And have you really been trying to forget about me?”

“Since the night after the carnival,” I whispered like I was ashamed to confess to him. “I already liked you since then.”

Elliot leaned closer for a second, “Can I kiss you?”

I was going to reply, but I tilted my head up and initiated the kiss feeling like it made up for the first kiss we had. It felt so much better as I wrapped my arms around him and felt like I might not let him for the rest of the night. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him and I think that just made my feelings towards him become twice as strong. Who knew things would end like this and he would come looking for me? For a second, I thought it’ll be me running away to find him and hoped that he had found someone that he’ll care about. I would have been fine if he had someone that he'd love while my world was crashing.

I rested my head against his chest, my hands were clutching his shirt, “What’ll happen from here?”

“I’ll wait for you,” He tells me, running his hands over the top of my head. “We can’t do anything while we’re underage… But wait for me and I’ll come to get you. I’ll save you before anything else happens.”

I took a deep breath and raised my head to look at him, “You’ll really wait?”

“Yeah. Would you wait?” He asks me. “It’ll be a bit longer than just a few months that’s already past.”

Wait another year until I’m eighteen and run away from home? Can I really do this?

“Yes,” I answered.

“Then eat, come outside more, and I’ll try to find a way to see you without your dad seeing.” He whispers, kissing the top of my head.

“This is real right? I’m not imagining all this?” I asked, afraid of letting him go because we both know he has to leave and I don’t know when I’ll see him again.

Elliot smiled and kissed me, “I’ll try and come back Saturday during the night. Come meet me at the gardens.”

I slowly let go of his shirt and he walked over to my door, “Elliot.”

He was about to open the door but turned to me right away when I called for him.

“That day when you told me to leave and walk away from the whole thing with my dad… If you told me to leave with you, I would have.” I informed him. “I think I really fell in love with you while we were in that Ferris wheel.”

He blushed and held onto the doorknob, “Honestly… I think I was starting to have feelings for you when you were excited that I invited you out. I thought for a second, what would happen if I showed him more new things? Will he ever smile like that at me?”

We both didn’t say anymore and I watched him leave the room. I glanced around my room and tried not to laugh. Can I really do this? Did that really happen? I brushed my fingers over my lips and knew that it wasn’t a dream. No, actually, I think what I really was dreaming of finally came true. There is something for me to finally look forward to after this and I feel like I can finally be who I am again.  I’ll wait for him and I know I’ll have so many things to prepare for, but if Elliot will be by my side then I won’t be afraid anymore.