"Come here," Her hand is soft on my skin.
Watching her dance and twirl down the hall, I feel a laugh escape and vibrate through me. Her dress rises as she twirls, drawing my eyes to her pale, bruised, but still beautiful legs.
"Seth, I'm waiting." Her voice carries over the air as a hypnotic song.
"Now that's not fair," I say as I reach out to hold her, "You know my name, but I don't get to know yours?"
"You know what it is Seth, you know everything you need to. You just need to look."
Twirling more, she laughs as I try to catch her. I want to hold her, I want to really get a look at her. Maybe if I see her face I can find her, maybe I could make her stay.
"Where am I supposed to look? How can I do anything with nothing to go on?"
Her giggle dances in the air as she disappears from where she was. I spin, frantically to find her again. All I find is an empty space in the fog, and her gentle voice floating around me.
"Seth, I'm waiting! Seth!"
"Give me something! Some sort of hint?"
A hand brushes the back of my neck, causing me to jump. I'm met with a mess of hair being blown around in front of me, hiding her face again.
"8th and Marshal."
"What does that mean?"
"You know what it means, don't you? You just don't remember right now. Give it time, it will come back. Piece by piece it will come back to you."
"Why can't you tell me who you are? Why do we have to play this game?"
"You know why, you know what you need to do Seth..."
"What do I need to do?" I can feel my frustration bubbling inside me. I want to just grab her and hold her and look at her. I want her to answer my questions.
"Come find me."
Everything goes dark as soft lips press to mind. I tell myself to open my eyes, but I can't, I can't look at her as her kiss pulls me in. Feeling heavy, I fall.
"Fuck!" I shoot up in bed, a sweaty, shaking mess.
Same dream, same girl, and the same deep need to find her. It's four in the morning, same time as always.
My lips tingle, her touch a phantom sensation I try to cling to as I climb from my bed.
Combing my fingers through my messy dark brown hair, I try to take a few steady breaths. I have to calm down. It was just a dream. It was nothing more than a dream.
Wasn't it?
No. Deep down I know it's more. Maybe the first few nights I could tell myself it was just a recurring nightmare, but now it's too common, and it does change. Some nights she'll say something different, or she'll dance with me.
They feel longer then they are. Sometimes I'm convinced I've been talking to her for hours, other nights it feel like seconds but I always wake up at four o'clock on the dot.
"Get ahold of yourself man, you're losing it!" I pull my hair, trying to feel like a part of reality.
Waking up gets harder and harder every day. Sleep calls to me, the hope of seeing her again pulls me into the pillows even when I know that I only get to see her once.
It's too early for this. Maybe coffee will help? Maybe some more sleep? I don't even know anymore.
Relaxing and letting my arms fall, I try to envision her. I know, deep down, that I know what she looks like, I just can't pin it down.
My curtains blow in the wind behind me, sending cool air over my bare torso, causing me to shiver. Goosebumps cover me as I get up to close the window.
A smell washes over me as the curtains blow in my face. Sweet, and woodsy. It intoxicates me and pulls me to the window. It's soft and familiar as it wraps around me.
"Seth..."
The smell vanishes as the wind wraps around me, my head and torso hang out in the intense air pulls me farther out the window. Sounds of traffic and people below me draw my attention to the height, and potential fall in front of me.
"Jesus fucking Christ!" I pull myself back into the apartment, stumbling to the floor.
At least now I don't need any coffee.
I lean against the wall, chest heaving and hands shaking, as I try to feel like a part of reality again. I seem to be failing, miserably.
Thinking back to that strange smell, I try to picture the girl. "You certainly keep me on my toes, now I just have to hope you're real and I'm not losing my mind entirely."
A faint giggle runs through the air, causing me to tense up. Waiting, I listen for any voice or footsteps. Did someone break in? No, not possible, I'm just tired. Dreams are starting to feel like reality, that's all.
Getting up off the floor, I close the window and stumble into my crappy excuse for a kitchen. What do you expect in LA, you're either rich or dirt poor. Take a guess where I am.
Some beat up bread, eggs, milk that probably is gross, and some random cereal. I've reached such a point of exhaustion and madness I can't even be bothered to be phased by this disgusting excuse of a kitchen and food.
I should care. I really should.
But I don't.
All I care about is getting back to bed, back to sleep, back to her. The thought of her makes me wish I could snap my fingers and be with her again, if only I could catch her, then I could see her face and find her!
Ignoring the hopeless feeling in my gut, I make some pathetic toast and force myself to get ready for the slow day.
Make my bed. Clean the "kitchen". Make a grocery list. Be a functional human being.
Maybe I'll go see Marcus today, he can slap some sense into me. He'll tell me to get off my ass and come back to the real world...
Unless he's drunk, then he might start telling me about the girls in his dreams.
A chuckle escapes me as I lay on my beat up couch. Another hour or so of sleep will help me get it together. The dreams only come around four in the morning, so no worries there. Just some peaceful sleep.
Sleep. Then rejoin the human race.
Sleep. Then find her.
Find her.
I have to find her, she needs me... I don't know how I know it, but I do. She needs me to find her and save her from something.
But I can't do that as a zombie.
"Rest knight..."
This time, the voice doesn't make me jump. It soothes me, it makes me feel safe enough to sleep.
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