Stop staring. Stop staring...
"Layla?"
My eyes start darting around trying to regain focus, eventually settling on my boyfriend Derek who's been talking to me even though I wasn't listening.
"Baby, you alright?" he asks gently.
I look over his shoulder and feel my heart drop in my stomach. Shawna is standing by her locker.
"Yeah I'm fine," I mutter as I watch her focus on her book.
I can't focus on what Derek is saying, I don't hear him, anyone around us, or the bell when it rings. I'm stuck in my own head until I feel Shawna place her hand on my shoulder. I snap out of my trance to see her smiling to me.
"Are you ready for bio?" She inquires sweetly.
I open my mouth and close it again, I have nothing to say so I just nod.
Her and I walk together in silence, I can sense her looking at me longingly but I can't bring myself to speak.
"You still haven't told Derek have you?" she hesitated.
My face burns, "No, I haven't told anyone," I feel ashamed, "It's not an easy thing to come to grips with and admit, at least in my case."
She opens the door for me and we saunter into class. She pulls out her science notebook and I admire the gentle drawings of microscopes and beakers. She never actually takes notes, she doesn't need them, so all of her books are just full of her impeccable art.
"Do you maybe want to come over after school? My mom told me that she's making the special sparkling cherry limeade you love so much," her deep, emerald eyes gazed gently into mine. I gave a forced smile and answered yes.
Everything about her was gentle, from head to toe. Everything about her mesmerized me, her soft and wavy jet black hair, the slightness of her frame, the way her soft lips coated in maroon lipstick stood out against her olive complexion. While her body spoke of gentleness and innocence, her style of leather jackets, high heel boots, and smokey eye said something entirely different. Shawna was complex, very few took the time to dig into her complications, but I did... And she was perfect. She was captivating to me.
While class goes on, I remain focused on her; I watch her as her hands fly over her paper. It takes me a while to understand what she's drawing. It kills me but makes me want to smile; she draws us, at the prom.
I amble by the rest of the day, trying not to think. I just long for that final bell to ring, releasing my heart when it does. Desperate to leave and relax I don't stop at all, except to put my stuff into my locker.
"Layla!"
I turn around and am met with a tight hug along with intense chatter, after adjusting to the surprise I look up to the tan skin and perfect blue eyes of my best friend Reyna.
"Hey Rey," I release the first real smile all day, "Shouldn't you be at practice? You guys have a huge competition coming up don't you?"
She adjusts the gymnastics bag on her shoulder and pushes he blond bob behind her ear, "I don't have to be there until six, and the competition is local, you should come."
"I'll think about it, but if you plan on twisting your ankle and hurting yourself again count me out," I shut my locker and shake my head, "Watching you fall off that beam gave me a heart attack."
She lets out a small laugh and hugs me again, "Not the plan, and don't forget about my birthday party next week. I can pick you up!"
"I'll be there," I place my hand on her back, returning the hug, "I promise but right now I need to head out, I have a... Project to work on."
She nodded and gave me a peck on the cheek before running off, "Love you bae!" and she was gone.
I so badly wanted to tell her, she's my best friend and has been since the first day of kindergarten, she knows everything about me... Except this. I don't want it destroy our friendship, but it's so hard to keep from her.
It's hard to keep from everyone.
But I do.
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