Elliot watched as Ally moved a little in my arms, almost waking up again, and sighed looking back at me still. “I’m glad my mom likes you after you finally met her.”
“That was a little scary… Trying to meet your parents and hoping that they’ll like me. I had to meet them too before your graduation because I didn’t want it to be so awkward when I go to your ceremony and sit with them.” I said, recalling his graduation at the school’s football field.
“Jason was with you the whole time.” He added.
“True… But I never met Chris’s parents whenever I went over to his house. I remember it always being dark and empty as if he was living alone.” I told him, looking down at Ally as she started moving again, and I bounced her gently in my arms. “I don’t think they ever cared about him.”
Elliot didn’t say anything for a second and sighed, “I remember you telling me that. Why did you bring him up? Hearing his name always ruined my mood.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I just happened to remember it right now.”
“Now forget about it. You can always bring him up when we’re not with family.” He tells me as he reaches out to grab Ally from me. “I think she’s getting hungry. Ask Lily for a bottle before they start preparing the meals.”
“Alright,” I said, getting up then turned to him. “You know… It’s a little easier for me to talk about him now. I know you still hate him, and I do too, but I’m not afraid to say his name now.”
He nodded, “I know. Just sometimes, I think about all that he’s done, and I feel like I get madder then you do.”
I thought about this before sighing. “It’s because you helped me heal from all that’s been done and all that I’ve been afraid of. I was mad, but then I got tired of being mad, and I tried to accept it instead.”
Elliot looked at me before sighing again.“You have grown up.”
I smiled, “I’ll be back with the bottle.”
Lily insisted that she’ll feed Ally while Elliot and I grabbed plates for us as I went outside to serve ourselves. Dad sat with us for a while as we ate until Lily joined us with Ally, and I reached out to take Ally so she could eat. It was beautiful, having dinner outside on the patio and being able to catch up on things that have been going on. Elliot talked about his time at his university college and living there, and I brought up about the courses that I’m taking now. After a while, we made our way inside, and my dad took Ally to change her diaper. When he returned to the kitchen, I watched as my dad held Ally, smiling down at something that seems so precious, and I can tell that she was the world to him.
I turned glancing outside before turning back to him. “I’m happy for you, dad. Married again and having Ally has been good for you. She's almost a year now, and she's grown so much.”
“It is great having another child around.” He said, glancing over at me. “You should come to see your sister more often.”
“I will,” I mumbled as I looked at my dad with her before getting up. “I’ll be back. I’m going to use the restroom before we leave.”
I stepped out of the living room and made my way upstairs, making my way to the restroom when I stopped at the door of my room. I wouldn’t have thought much of it until I noticed through the small opening that there was a difference to the last time I saw my room, but as I'm walking in, I noticed that it’s no longer my room and none of my belongings are there anymore. This wasn’t something that I should be surprised about since I never really overthought about Ally's bedroom selection, but it never occurred to me that my dad would redecorate my room and change it completely. It was good that my dad can have a new family after marrying Lily last year and have a child to raise again.
I walked over to the crib seeing a small pink bear, and I reached out to grab it, sighing as I looked around the room again. Where my desk was is now replaced with a rocking chair, and my walls had a fresh pearl color making it so much brighter. It wasn’t like I wasn’t happy that my dad spent so much time creating this bedroom space for her because I always wanted another sibling, and I've come to cherish Ally. But I'm standing here feeling a little ashamed at myself because I was never going to spend so much time visiting Dad now that I'm eighteen, but having Ally has made him a different person. I didn't think I would have such conflicting feelings towards this new environment. A part of me wished that I could be more involved, like wanting to shield Ally from having a past as I had, and another part of me felt like I'm not part of this new family.
“Michael.”
I turned around, seeing Elliot at the doorway, and I put the bear down from where I grabbed it. “I was gonna go back down right now.”
Elliot watched me before looking around the room, “It looks nice in here.”
I glanced around as I'm walking over towards him, “Yeah.”
“Why do you look upset? You never liked this room.”
“I know,” I replied.
“Then?” he asked, reaching for my hand. “What else is bothering you?”
I turned away, pulling him to step out of the room and closed the door. “Can we talk about it after we leave?”
Elliot didn’t say anything as he nodded and followed me downstairs, grabbing my jacket in the living room.
“Leaving already?” Lily asked as she was putting Ally in her walker.
“Elliot still needs to drive home after dropping me off, so we should head out now before it gets dark,” I answered, walking over to kiss Ally on the top of her head then hugged Lily. “Where’s Dad?”
“He went to the car to bring some bags down after we went shopping yesterday.” She said, hugging me back. “We needed a few things for Ally now that she’s grown out of her clothes and eating more.”
“Well, I’ll help him before we leave,” I said, about to walk away before I turned to Elliot. “You can just give me a second.”
“I have time to wait.” He said, smiling at me.
I smiled back then made it out of the house, seeing my dad still at the car with a few bags in his hands. “Elliot and I are leaving now.”
“When will you be coming by again?” he asked.
“I’m not sure. Elliot is busy trying to find an intern job, and Mom has been taking a few extra shifts at work.” I told him as we stopped by the front door.
“You should consider looking for a job to save up for a car.” He tells me. “I know it can be easy for one of us just to buy you one, but it’s more worth earning it and buying it yourself. You wouldn't have to depend on others to be taking you around, and what will happen when you have an emergency to go to? How will you get to places?”
I glanced down at the ground and shrugged my shoulders, “I understand that and I don't depend on them for everything, but I’m still getting used to my college courses and having to do it all myself considering my challenges. I’m not sure how well I can balance a job into it just yet.”
“At some point, you have to work and might as well start now since you have more free time over the weekend if you don't come here often because of the drive.” He said, looking at me. “I understand it’s hard getting that first job, but we can’t always support you financially either. At one point, you have to do it all yourself and also earn money to live off of instead of asking for it or using that money the judge gave you.”
I didn’t have anything to say as I listened and nodded my head understanding his point of view.
My dad patted my shoulder, “Well, let me know when you can come by, and we can have dinner here.” He said, walking away.
“Alright, Dad,” I mumbled and saw Elliot walking over towards us. “Let’s go.”
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