Leaving the house was always an ordeal. Even though she’d gone to find her shoes, she’d only managed to find one- the other I found on the dog’s bed after much scouting and had to try to reason with a fluffy beast to get it back. Upon locating Maya’s backpack, I made sure her school supplies were in it, my emergency contact in the pocket, and that she had her packed lunch from the fridge. In the end, I had to threaten her afterschool snack to get her to let go of the dog and follow me to the car.

Maya was stubbornly silent in the backseat on the ride to her new school, refusing to open her mouth except to tell me she was too cold so I would turn the heater on. Despite my attempts to cheer her up nothing seemed to sway her mood. I pointed out the cloudy sky and how chilly it was because I knew she loved snow, I even attempted playing the dreaded shark song- which would be stuck in my head for the rest of the day- but nothing seemed to help.

She kept up her perpetual bad mood the entire drive there, even so much as I was coaxing her out of the car.

As I half dragged her out of the parking lot, a quiet, “Dad, no,” caught my attention. Maya hesitated after the first few steps, her fingers wrapped tightly around the straps of her backpack, anxiously.

I turned around and kneeling so my eyes were level with hers, bringing up my brightest smile. “It’s going to be fine!”

Maya pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, chewing on it. “Promise?”

“Pinky promise,” I answered, holding out my hand for her. She smiled, though it was small and nervous before she hooked her pinky with mine. When she seemed reluctant to let go, I gave her another encouraging smile and turned my hand to hold hers.

Her fingers squeezed mine and she closed her eyes to gather courage.

“Ready?” I asked quietly.

Maya nodded, a little more willing to follow me after I had given her the most sacred of vows. She pressed close to me as I led her towards the school building… a place I knew well from my past and had not seen for a very long time.

I didn’t need to look around; the school was almost exactly the same as it had been when I went there as a child. The fencing was nicer, but the playground was just the way I remembered. The tall metal slide and the swingset, which rocked with the weight of the children playing on it, looked a lot less fun as a worried father. While the risk of falling may have been part of the fun when I was younger, I certainly didn’t want Maya to get hurt.

“Dad?” Maya’s confusion made me flinch, realizing I’d been standing still for too long.

“Sorry, kiddo. Let’s go inside.” I tugged gently and she followed me toward the familiar red brick building. Despite the multitude of heavy doors and winding walkways, I knew exactly where I was heading.

That was the nice thing about moving back to my hometown. I knew where everything was and didn’t need to stop to ask for directions to the administration office. I’d been called there many times before when I’d been a child, always looking for a loophole or an adventure.

“Simon Hayes! Good god, I heard you were back in town. Couldn’t believe it was really you. This must be your daughter...”

It was still a surprise that they knew who I was without asking. I suffered through the awkward game of twenty questions begrudgingly, listening to the vagrant musings about how I was doing and how it was making the move with Maya, all with an uncomfortable smile.

Maya’s hand gripped mine tightly as the office aide introduced her to the principal; Maya was practically hidden behind me, causing my worry to rise again. What would happen when I had to leave and say goodbye?.

“All her previous files were forwarded, right?” I questioned at the end of the principal’s speech, praising his school and rambling about all the things Maya would certainly enjoy while she went there. It was difficult to pay attention when all I could think of was if Maya would make new friends and if her teacher would treat her well.

“Of course, we’ve got it all. I’ve already had a conversation with her teacher and he’s aware of her… special needs.” As pity showed on the man’s face, I instinctively turned my gaze away.

‘Amber.’ I felt the name sicken me.

“Her teacher should be waiting for her,” the principal continued, “We wanted to make sure you and Maya have a good experience with your first day here.”

“I appreciate that.” I knelt down to Maya’s level because her grip on my hand was making my fingers go numb. “It’s okay,” I reminded her. “They’re going to take good care of you, and the day will be over before you know it.”

“Don’t wanna go.”

“Sweetheart…” I glanced up at the principal, noting his effort to stay out of it; I was grateful, feeling that more often than not, people seemed more interested in telling me how to parent than actually letting me do it. “I know you’re scared, but you have to be brave. Your mom wouldn’t want you sitting at home being sad. She’d want you to try and make new friends and have fun at school.”

Maya’s bottom lip quivered. Barely giving me enough time to put my arms out, she threw herself at me, wrapping her tiny arms around my neck. I hugged her tightly and let her have a minute of comfort before I had to pry her off. “Dad,” she reached for me again and I shook my head, doing my best to ignore her pout.

"You’re going to have a good day, and I’ll pick you up when it’s over. Why don’t you go meet your new teacher?”

“Don’t wanna!”

“Maya, please.” My tone was stern as I realized the ‘nice dad’ approach wasn’t working.

Maya opened her mouth to argue, but my frown was enough to tell her it wasn’t welcome. “Fine!”

I grimaced at the anger in her voice, but it was too late to do anything about it. The office door was already open to the busy hallway; calling after her would have attracted a lot of attention, not to mention starting myself on a bad foot with her teacher. Unwilling to run after her, all I could do was follow her slowly into the hall and be there to point to the right door when she paused, confused as to where she was supposed to go.

I stayed back to let Maya hover in the door until she was brave enough to knock; I didn’t want to embarrass her. Worry gnawed at me as I wondered if I should introduce myself to the teacher, but my spinning thoughts stopped when my gaze landed on the man that greeted her.

Everything about him was familiar. His brown hair was longer than it had been when we were younger; his parents had never let him grow it out. His mother had been right, it did turn into a bit of a tangled mop that must have been hard to deal with. Though he wasn’t looking at me, I knew those blue eyes that were hiding behind his glasses, the same kind of oval, wire-rimmed things he’d been wearing since middle school.

Jared.

If it had been anybody else, I could have handled it, but Jared… Guilt pulled at my heart, memories of the playground’s rickety swings fresh in my mind again, ringing with laughter from a friend I’d left behind.

“Mister Hayes?”

The interruption made me jump, a little ashamed that I had gotten so distracted. The door closed behind Maya and made it easier to focus. “Sorry. You said I had to finalize some paperwork when I dropped her off?” I asked, trying to distance myself from my past life… the life I’d left behind as soon as my two feet had stepped out of this town.

The principal looked just as relieved as I was. “Yes, right this way please.” He turned to lead the way and I followed eagerly. The paperwork would be a welcome distraction from my worries about Maya... and from the memory of blue eyes and a shy smile that wouldn’t leave my mind.