I was quiet for a second as I leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder. “Are you sure that you can’t stay today?”

“Sorry. I have a few things that I have to get done before going to work and I don’t really have a lot of time,” He tells me, kissing the top of my head. “I promise that I’ll be free when you visit your dad next weekend.” I sighed and closed my eyes for a second, “I don’t want to visit my dad. We haven’t been talking much, but I’ll feel bad if I don’t go and I know that it’ll bother me.”

“Because of Lily and Ally?” He asked.

“Of course. I knew Dad was going to remarry after being with Lily for a couple of years, but I never expected that they’ll have a baby right after their wedding and that I’ll be an older brother.” I said, raising my head to look at him. “It’s still weird to say that I have a half-sister. I’ve been an only child for years and I don’t know the first step to being a brother or what I can do to help around. I’ve never been around babies.”

“I know… It will be awkward growing up with her and having that new experience. It took me some time to get to know my step-dad and Jason. You adjusted well to Lily and you both have a really good relationship; which is great now that she’s part of the family. You never thought much about being a brother before, but now is a good chance to learn and be involved since she is so young.” He informed me and I know that he’s speaking from his own experience after his mother remarried after his father passed away.

I sighed again, feeling a little uncertain about the thought of me being a brother. “I guess so… Having Lily as a step-mom is nice. I don’t have to call her my dad’s girlfriend anymore and just be able to say ‘mom’; which is still a little weird to say sometimes.” I said and looked at the time on my phone. “Well, I should go inside. I have a lot of homework to do and I need to start on that before Luis comes to pick me up.”

“Alright. I’ll see you next week and you call me if you need anything.” He said, leaning over towards me.

I smiled when I felt his lips over mine, “I love you.”

He beamed after seeing my expression and replied, “I love you more.”

It took me a second to get out of the car, I wanted to stay a little longer, but I knew that he didn’t have enough time to hang around and I waved to him before going inside my house. I went to my room to lay down burying my face on my pillow, sighing heavily, and the house is silent; the only sound that can be heard is the cars driving by. My mom and I haven’t had a lot of time to see each other because I’ve been in my room studying and she still has her full-time shift so she’s hardly home during the day. It’s something I’m so used to and even when I was young I’ve always been left alone for various hours. I was close to dozing off when my phone started ringing and I reached into my pocket to take my phone out to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey, where are you?” Luis asked, his voice full of energy. “I’m assuming you’re done with your therapy session.”

“Yeah, I’m home,” I answered and closed my eyes again.

“Fernando and Brian just got to the market to buy snacks and we all agreed to meet at Fernando’s house since they want to swim in his pool.” He tells me and that was my sign that I can’t go to sleep.

I slowly moved to sit up now trying to wake myself up and said, “Alright. What time are we meeting up?”

“In an hour. I’ll come by to get you since my dad let me borrow his car but we can’t be out too late.” He tells me.

“Alright. I’ll see you in a bit. Bye,” I said before hanging up and debating on laying back down again knowing there is no hurry to get ready just yet.

I laid down being able to close my eyes for a minute until it was almost time and I got up to change my shirt then walked over to the bathroom to comb my hair. While waiting in the living room, I texted Elliot wanting to keep him informed of my plans when I suddenly got the alert from Luis notifying me that he’s here and I made my way towards his car after I locked the door behind me. It was a nice idea to hang out with everyone today and I think the last time we had the chance was during our winter vacation; almost three months ago. Brian is attending the same college Elliot goes to and dorms on campus as well, but it’s not very often that we see each other if I ever go to visit Elliot at his dorm; which is not too often. Fernando and his friend decided to live together in the next town over and are working at an auto shop for the time being. I’ve spent more time seeing Luis since we both attend the same college and have a higher chance to see each other daily.

“Michael, how’re things going? You haven’t replied back to our group chat recently.” Brian asked, we’re all sitting together in the backyard like we usually spent our time in high school.

“Sorry that I haven’t replied. I’ve been so busy with homework and assignments that I haven’t had time for anything else.” I answered as I looked down at the can of soda that I’ve been drinking. “Going to my classes, having my therapy sessions every week, and just seeing Elliot when we are both free; even Elliot has been busy as well that I only saw him for less than thirty minutes today.”

“That sucks… I saw him a few times on campus. Seems like he’s always busy with those courses he picked out this semester when we last talked and there’s always a crowd around him talking about some lab work.” Brian said, reaching for a beer can that was in the middle of the table and opening it. “Isn’t it hard for him to commute? It’s about two hours. That was the reason I dorm on campus and come home when I need to.”

“It is a bit far. He tries to make it work, but I don’t push him too much about having to see me when I know he doesn’t have the time and he’s been looking for an apartment as well.” I said, glancing at everyone. “He’s having problems with his roommate, but he still wants to live near the campus and that’s a bit hard to find in the middle of a semester.”

“Are you going to move in with him?” Luis asked teasingly but I think he also sounded curious.

“No,” I answered, shaking my head and almost wanting to laugh at his question. “I never thought about moving in with him and we never discussed something like that. That’s a big step don’t you think?”

“Why not?” Fernando asked as he reached for a can as well and took a small sip.

I didn’t answer right away and took a breath pondering for a second on why it wouldn’t happen. “I don’t think I am ready for that if he were to ask or if he wants me there as well.” I finally answered him. “Elliot is always busy with school and work. I don’t want to be a bother if I were to live with him and be in the way. I also have to find my way to school and there is my therapy. I have to make that adjustment and it seems like a big move to do.”

“So, you are saying that you wouldn’t mind it if he were to ask you?” Luis asked.

I pressed my lips together and slowly nodded my head, “If it was possible then I wouldn’t mind. I just don’t think now is the time, considering the distance and I don’t want to make him feel like he has to take care of me because of my mental health. I haven’t completely adjusted myself to be independent and I don’t want that to worry him.”

“I think seeing how Elliot can be, I don’t think it would ruin your relationship,” Fernando said, setting his can down on the table and looking at me. “You two have always worked things out together.”

“Maybe it won’t ruin it… But seeing how it was for my mom, I know I can be a burden.” I said and I can see Luis frown at my comment. “I haven’t learned enough to be on my own and also to be living with someone is a different story. I still have my depressive episodes and I don’t want that to be triggering for him if I move in.”

No one responded back to my comment and I took a sip of my soda to distract myself.

“Wait, what about Jennifer? How did things work out for you two?” Fernando cuts in as he turns to Luis and I’m thankful for the change of conversation. “You two have been together since the beginning of our senior year.”

Luis sets his cup down and shrugs his shoulders, nonchalantly. “It’s just been hard. It hasn’t been working out between us and I’ve been thinking that I might break up with her.”

“Is it more a friend-with-benefits sort of relationship?” Fernando teased.

Luis rolled his eyes, “No. There’s nothing between us like that.”

“And you’re okay with that? Just wanting to end it?” I asked him.

Luis rolled his eyes, “No. There’s nothing between us like that. Like Michael, we haven’t been seeing each other often and it gets a bit awkward.”

“And you’re okay with that? Just wanting to end it?” I asked him.

Luis shook his head before leaning back in his seat, “We aren’t as connected as it is for you and Elliot. We enjoyed our time together, but I think it was just for a short time and maybe it’s better off that way. We’re both going different directions.”

There was no response from any of us and I wondered how Jennifer would react. “I’ve never thought about the possibility of Elliot and I breaking up,” I mumbled. “You only talked about how difficult our relationship will be but it was never to the point of breaking up.”

“You two have been pretty strong as a couple from the start and I assume things were a little rough after the start of senior year,” Brian said, taking a sip from his can. “How are things going for this year?”

“Don’t say it like you’re expecting some trouble between them,” Fernando said leaning forwards in his chair and looked back at me. “It did seem rough last year, but now that we’re out of high school it should be easier to see each other now.”

I shook my head, “Not always. Currently, we’re only seeing each other on the weekends because his courses take up his day, and, even if we can hang out, he has to consider this part-time job. It was rough during the senior year because I was very dependent on him before he graduated and I had to learn again to do things on my own.” I said cuddling the can in my hand. “Going out with you guys during the summer, beach, movies, shopping, and then going to school on my own. That took me time to get used to and learn to not feel overwhelmed.”

“You know it showed in the beginning, but after a while, I wouldn’t think that you had any trouble,” Fernando commented and reached for the bag of chips that we haven’t opened. 

“You know, Elliot has been busy. Is that why he couldn’t hang out today?” Luis asked, reaching over to grab some chips when Fernando opened the bag.

“I saw him just for a bit after my therapy and he had to see his parents before having to leave for his night shift,” I answered. “I’ll be seeing him next weekend and our anniversary is coming up as well.”

“I don’t care about being in a relationship, but two years is a long time for our age and I enjoy not having that sort of commitment,” Fernando said as he hands Brian the bag to see if he wanted some. “I’ve been going out with a few girls and I think I enjoy it more when there are no strings attached.”

Luis rolled his eyes and said, “You said the same thing last year when a girl wanted to be serious with you after prom.”

Fernando shrugged, nonchalantly. “Look, we’re young and I don’t see a reason why we have to take it seriously. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m okay just having things the way they are and it's not like I’m looking for someone to get married.”

I looked down at my can of soda and wondered what Elliot's thought towards marriage or if he would want to get married.
“I’m sure the first one to get married is me,” Brian mumbles.

“What? Why you?” Luis asked.

“Because I don’t mind finding a girl to settle down with and have a family.” He answered, turning to Luis before glancing at all of us. “My family has a big belief about having a family and I do as well. I just never really talked about it because I didn’t think you guys would care or agree to it. Michael, have you thought about marriage?”

I looked at him and thought about my parents as I answered, “I doubt I’ll be getting married right away… Elliot and I haven’t discussed our relationship in a long term in that sense and I never thought too much about marriage either. After my parent’s divorce and having that separation at an early age, it had an impact in my life. I don’t really believe that you need to be married to have a lasting relationship with a partner. Elliot also has his own past with his parents and I don’t know how much that changed his view on marriage.”

“Hey, what if they break up and Elliot finds someone else that he wants to have a serious relationship with,” Fernando added in and I frowned at him. “Or you find someone else. You never know the possibilities. I can understand divorce, but we haven’t hit our twenties so there are chances that you want to date other guys, or if Elliot wants to date a girl.”

“Hey, aren’t you talking too much?” Luis said, giving him a stern look.

“It’s how things are sometimes, you guys. People break up, people get married, have kids, and others just stick to being single. I’m just putting in how I view things.” He retorts and Brian shrugged his shoulders as if it made sense. 

“Okay, but don’t you think that is a little harsh?”Luis asked Fernando.

“I’m being realistic. My parents didn’t get married after they had my older brother and he was already three by that point.” Fernando said as he set his can to the side and looked a bit annoyed. “You shouldn’t be offended by all that because we all think differently about marriage and I think we’re still too young to even talk about it.”

“Alright. We’re done with this conversation.” Luis said grabbing a new can to drink.

“Fine,” Fernando said. “It wasn’t like I wanted to be attacked for voicing my opinion.”