DANGEROUS ELYSIUM

PART TWELVE

SHARNA

"The sweetest honey is loathsome in its own deliciousness." It's funny how you remember things, even when you didn't realize at the time how much attention you were actually paying. I saw those words on the front of a notebook. Oliver's notebook. Little tidbits here and there, but those words stick in there. He loathed me, for so long but he also loved me too. Why didn't I see it sooner? Why didn't I do anything sooner? I couldn't forever put the blame on Morgan or my dad. I choose and I choose wrong, for so long. Too long. "Take a real good look around at all the people you have in your life and ask yourself, was it all worth it? All those lies?" I see it. I see it all. I looked into myself and saw how ugly I am and no, it wasn't worth it. Hurting everyone around me wasn't worth it.

"What are you mumbling about?" I jumped when I heard Morgan's voice, then I felt the anger spike when I turned to see him standing in the doorway of my father's study. "Looking for something?"

"Fuck off Morgan…."

"Why?" He asked, cutting me off. "It's my home too. I have every right to be here as much as you do, if not more."

"What?"

"Silly rabbit. You keep chasing that tail and still you've got nowhere. You're just running around in circles. Doesn't it make you feel dizzy?"

"It's all your fault! Everything is all your fault!"

"Really?"

"Yes," I hissed and took big strides towards him, yet he didn't move, or flinch. "Everything is…" I went to say when his hand made contact with my face. Fuck! The sting was almost instant and the throbbing followed seconds later.

"None of this is my fault. You said yes over and over and over again. I've never forced you. You chose Sharna. You could have said no anytime you wanted, but you didn't. What a wicked game we play. It's always been games Sharna. We play with each other, we play with others. You cannot deny how much you love being on top."

"I hate the top and I fucking hate you."

"You hate the fact that you love it. We're kings in our own world. Me and you. Always have been, always will be."

I turned my head so I didn't have to look at him again. "I'm not. I hate it all. It can rot away, I don't care."

"Just remember you'll rot away with it. You're almost there," he said, pressing a palm to my chest. "You're rotting inside already."

"No," I said, swiping his hand away from me and moving back a few feet. "You and Raine…."

"Raine?"

"You've been fucking and plotting everything. I know all about it."

"Do you now? Then you'll know I've also been playing my very own game where Raine is concerned."

"What?" What the fuck is he saying?

"He's like a deer caught in the headlights. A scared pathetic deer."

"What are you doing Morgan?"

He snorted and moved around me. I watched him cross the room to my father's desk and pull out a drawer. "This." He said, holding up a little black book.

"What's that?"

"It's not what you were looking for?"

"No….I…." I was looking for my checkbook. Not that.

"Everything is in this stupid little thing. Names, numbers, dealings, everything. I know everything that goes on Sharna and I also know how your father has been threatening Raine's mother."

"What are you talking about?"

"He was having an affair with her and she threatened to expose everything. So….I used it to my advantage to get what I wanted. I promised that nothing will happen to Raine's mother's business and his mom herself if he does what I asked."

"What did you ask?"

He smiled and slipped the little black book back into the drawer. "To break Oliver. Make him run and he did. Where is Oliver? He ran just like I thought he would. He left you."

"Why are you…."

"Because Sharna, once he's gone you'll have no one but me. It's all I've ever wanted. Even Molly played too. That girl is so pathetic. But she'd do anything for money so she can run too, run away with that sad boyfriend of hers."

Molly? Was in this too? "I don't believe you!"

"I have Oliver's uncle's address and Oliver's cell number. I have everything on his whole family, well what's left of it anyway."

I laughed. Why? Because it's all just so laughable. I laughed at myself, then I laughed at Morgan. I laughed in the sight of madness. "All for me?" Then I scrubbed my hands over my face. "You love me that much?"

"Oh yes," he murmured and moved towards me. "I've loved you and I've hated you. But love is not love if there's no hate somewhere in between. It doesn't matter what you feel, not anymore…."

"All of this!" I shouted and pointed to me and him. "...was to hurt Oliver!"

"No. Well obviously I wanted to hurt him, I wanted to hurt everyone and have full control and I do….have full control Sharna. I'm the master of my very own nirvana. This our paradise, forget Oliver. Forget everything and let's take over together ...."

"You've gone insane."

"I would say no, but only an insane person would say they weren't. I guess insanity drives people to do anything they possibly could to keep what they love most and love makes you insane….you make me insane, Sharna."

"Why me?"

"Because you accepted that part of me no one else would. You let me hold you, touch you. You wrapped yourself around me and now I'm addicted. Addicted to you, but you just had to go and actually fall for that stupid sap."

"I've always loved Oliver, always will."

"Love also kills you. Look at romeo and juliet. They died for love. All they ever wanted was to be together, but their families and statuses separated them so their only choice was to die in the name of love. Are you ready to die in the name of love?"

I laughed again. "You've already killed me Morgan."

"Well….I guess you wouldn't mind dying twice then."

"I suppose if you kill me you'll get everything…."

"This isn't about money and if that's what you've been thinking then you've just deluded yourself. Money may buy power Sharna, but the one thing it cannot buy is love."

He's right. Money cannot buy love and I never wanted to try and buy Oliver's love. I want to show him, then I said, "I'll show him…."

"You already have."

"It's not enough….I need to do more…."

"You told him you love him, right? But where is he Sharna? He's not here. He didn't stay and fight for you. He ran. He's a coward. He will always be a coward. But I'm not and I love you and I'm still here. I'll always be here."

"No. He ran because he's scared and he does love me…."

"Keep feeding yourself that lie, but I can tell you it's a lie you can never convince yourself is true. Ever," Morgan moved closer and I backed away until I hit the door frame. I could run. Run right now, but….I couldn't move. Morgan's word ground me. They chain me down, pulling me under into darkness. Cold comforting darkness I hate so much but wanted all the same. "If you run, you'll just be running nowhere," His fingers touched my cheek, burning me. I closed my eyes. "This is where you belong." He whispered, then his lips were on mine. He's the poison in my blood, his words cut deep and twist themselves around my soul like thick vines. I couldn't move. My heart is just as dark. Just a little more….just a tiny bit more of his poison and I'll go. I'll escape. Right? I'll go to Oliver and he'll tell me again that he loves me. We'll be happy. We can go anywhere and can do anything. We can, I know it. I...know it. "I love you." He softly said against my lips, pulling me further into his darkness, shrouding me. Breaking my will little by little until there's nothing left. Just once. I thought. Then I'm gone.