Finally, the day for biology presentations came, and I was up first. We had picked numbers out of a hat last week, and unfortunately I got number 1. This was a pretty big project that was worth a huge chunk of our marks, and I wasn't too sure I was even going to pass. I knew it was a badly done presentation, but I still had to present it. I knew if I talked to Mrs Smith about why I couldn't get it done right, she would only take it as an opportunity to tell me that this is why I needed help. I wasn't giving her that satisfaction.

"Alright, so as you all know, it's presentation day!" Mrs Smith said happily. She loved having students do presentations. It made her happy to see what her students had learned. "So, first up is… oh! Uh, Diane?"

She looked at me with a worried look. Before I could even get up, she rushed over to me to have a quick chat.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" She asked in a whisper. "I've seen how unsteady you are when you're standing."

"I'm fine." I stated firmly. I wasn't giving into admitting I couldn't do basic stuff like this anymore.

"I know you think you're ok, but I would feel much better if you didn't present. We can talk later about how we can get you the marks, but I just don't feel safe having you stand for so long. It's a 20 minute presentation!"

"I'm. Fine." I hissed. "Stop treating me like I can't do anything."

"Can you at least sit down while you present? Please? I have a really bad feeling about letting you stand up for that long."

"No. I'm like every other student here. I'll stand up. I'm not going to pass out. Stop worrying."

I grabbed my project and pushed past her. I wasn't allowing her to treat me any differently than everyone else. I was just as capable of standing during my presentation as everyone else was. I set up my poster board in the front of the class, and got ready to start. I brought cue cards so I could remember everything since my memory had gotten ridiculously bad. I turned around and faced the class. Mrs Smith was still standing by my desk with a worried look on her face.

Look at her. Such and idiot.

I waited for her to give me to the go ahead so I could start. I could tell by the look on her face she was hoping I would realize this was a bad idea and step down, but it wasn't happening. She sighed, and sat down at her desk in the front of the class. She grabbed her assessment paper, and wrote a couple things down before looking up at me.

"Alright, Diane." She sighed. "Whenever you're ready."

Perfect! I started the introduction to my presentation. I quickly realized I probably should've practiced more, but I kept going. The cue cards were extremely handy despite them hurting my hands. My hands were still suffering from the previous damage they had taken earlier in the month, so it made it a bit painful to flip through them. I knew I couldn't keep looking back at the posterboard without getting dizzy from turning my head so often, so cue cards were loads easier. That was, until my vision started going blurry on me.

About 5 minutes into my presentation, my vision started blurring. Shit! Bad time! I was trying so hard to read the cards that I started mixing up my words, and stuttering a lot. I couldn't concentrate on what I was trying to do.

Bitch!! Get this fucking thing done! Done right!! You're only letting that teacher of yours get the satisfaction she was looking for! If you don't clean things up, then of course she'll think you're not ok!!

But things only got worse. I was getting light-headed and dizzy too. I reached out for something for support, but there was nothing. And whilst I was going through all this, I was still trying to keep my presentation going. I couldn't even imagine how terrible this must've looked from other people's perspective! I probably looked like a fricking idiot!

"...Diane." Mrs Smith interrupted suddenly. "Go sit down."

"W-what?! I'm not done!" I cried. I couldn't believe she was stopping me halfway through!

"Don't argue. Just go sit down. Please."

I stood there for a moment before grabbing my stuff and heading back to my desk. It pissed me off that she was doing this to me! Now of course I was going to fail!! I was making my way over to my desk when my vision went completely black. I knew what that meant. Its happened so many times before. It meant I was going to pass out. And there was no stopping it.

I lost consciousness, and fell to the ground. I was only out for a couple seconds, but when I came to, Mrs Smith was right in front of me, and I could see all my classmates staring. I looked back at them. I was trying to fully come to and understand what just happened.

"Diane?" Mrs Smith said in a surprisingly calm voice. "Can you hear me? Does anything hurt?"

I mumbled a bit and nodded. "...e-everything… hurts…"

I wasn't lying. My whole damn body hurt. It was like my muscles just decided they were done with my bullshit and were trying to cause me as much agony as they could. Not to mention how much my head hurt. I always had a constant migraine going on and that day was no different.

"I'm only asking this once. Do you need to go to the hospital?" Mrs Smith asked.

I couldn't believe her! She knew I was going to pass out! That's why she seemed calm! Because now she could finally get what she wanted! I refused to say anything. Unfortunately, she took my silence as a yes.

"Everyone, I need you to leave the class. Walk in the hallways if you want, I just need a clear path for paramedics." Mrs Smith ordered. "Also, someone needs to page the office to tell them we need an ambulance, and call a t-99."

T-99 was a team of teachers who knew first aid and were often called in situations like these. Everyone cleared the room pretty quickly, whilst someone paged the office. Robin was the only one who didn't leave.

"Can I stay with her?" She asked.

"Of course!" Mrs Smith said. "If that’s ok with you Diane."

I was tired, and just nodded. I was pissed this was happening to me, but underneath the anger Diana was making me feel towards them, I was scared. I didn't know what was going to happen to me. Obviously my body was reaching its breaking point, so what if this was it? What if my body was done with my crap and it was only a matter of time before something major like my heart gave out? I didn't want to die!

"Mrs Smith? What's going on?" I heard one of the teachers on the T-99 team come into the room and ask Mrs Smith what was going on.

"It's Diane." Mrs Smith replied. "She's got severe anorexia -"

"It's not severe!" I argued back without even thinking. To be honest, it wasn't even me speaking at this point. It was Diana.

"Yes it is." Mrs Smith countered. "Now, as I was saying, she's got severe anorexia and I think because of that she passed out."

"Hm. Ok, did you call an ambulance?"

Mrs Smith nodded.

"Alright, well there's not much I can do about the anorexia, but the passing out could be low blood sugars?"

"Wouldn't doubt it." Mrs Smith said. "Can you get her something to eat?"

"No!! I don't want it!" Diana was talking again. She was trying to protect me of what she deemed dangerous by taking over. Truth be told, I wanted to eat. I was starving.

Despite my yelling, the teacher went and got a granola from the baggie every classroom had by the first aid kit. It was there just in case anyone needed something to eat when they were in lockdown, or someone had low blood sugars. She tossed it to Mrs Smith, and Mrs Smith unwrapped it and gave it to me.

I pulled away and screamed. I wanted to eat, but Diana refused to allow it.

No! I don't care how hungry you are!!! Don't fucking eat it!!

"Diane, please." Mrs Smith pleaded. “Even just a bit.”

"No. Fuck you." I hissed.

"Alright, if that's how you want to be." Mrs Smith said calmly. "The paramedics will be here soon. I'm sure they'll take great care of you."

Take good care of you?! More like make you fat!!! You have to get out of here!!! NOW!!

Problem was, I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough to get up, let alone out run Robin or Mrs Smith.

YOU'RE JUST BEING LAZY!! GET UP!!

I really tried to get up, but Robin could tell what I was trying to do and held me down.

"Diane, just calm down!" Robin said. "You need this!! You need help!"

"No! No!!" I screamed. "They'll make me gain so much weight!! I won't have control over anything!!"

Robin was about to fight with me more when Mrs Smith signalled her not to. Instead, she let me scream and resist for however long I wanted. She knew it would only take a couple minutes before I’d get tired out and stop. And that’s exactly what happened. I tired myself out, and eventually stopped fighting, and just stayed silent. Robin comforted me silently, and we waited for the paramedics to come.

About 20 minutes later, the paramedics rushed in. Immediately, my anxiety shot up again. I wasn't too sure what they were going to do with me. I was scared.

Mrs Smith explained to them what happened, and one of them came down to talk to me.

"Hey, I'm Tom. You're Diane?"

I nodded, whilst trying not to cry.

"Alright! I'm just going to ask you a couple questions ok? Then we're gonna decide where to go from there, ok? Nothing to be scared of."

"O-ok…" I replied. The paramedic had a surprisingly calm voice that made it easier to open up. He asked the basic questions first. Like my birthdate and address. Then he started asking the harder questions.

"So, your teacher said you're anorexic?"

I nodded. I surprised myself I even admitted that much.

"Ok, and how long has that been going on for?"

"Um… 6 or 7 months?" I replied. To be honest I didn't know. I looked at Robin for confirmation and she nodded.

"Wow, that must be hard." Tom said as he began taking my blood sugars. "Can I ask what was the last thing you ate? And when?"

"Uh, yesterday at supper." I was trying hard to think of what I had. My memory was getting so bad I couldn't even remember what I ate anymore, which was something I could usually remember. "It was soup. I think."

"Bad memory?"

I nodded.

"Alright, so it's been almost 24hours then." He said. The blood sugar machine made a little beep and he looked at it. "Hm. 3.8 for blood sugars. Normally anything under 4 we would get you to eat something, but I don't think you're willing to do that, huh?"

I shook my head no. I really wasn't up for doing that. I was scared enough as it was.

"Well, things aren't looking good for you. From what I can see, you're in no state for us to send you home."

I was afraid he was going to say that.

"So, here's what we are going to do. We're going to bring you to the hospital, have an evaluation done and give you some IV fluids and get your sugars up. Then we'll go from there. Sound good?"

I took a moment to think about it before nodding. I didn't have a choice but to go anyway. It wasn't going to matter if I said yes or no.

"Perfect! My buddy over there is going to bring over the stretcher, and we're gonna get you in the ambulance."

"I-I can walk." I mumbled. "I can walk to the ambulance."

"Sorry honey, I don't think you should." Tom said. "If you pass out again, then it'll make it harder on the both of us."

"Oh… ok.."

So, the other paramedics brought over the stretcher and helped me on.

"Can I come with her?" Robin asked. I was surprised she would want to come. After all the fighting? Wow. She was one loyal friend.

"You're her friend?" Tom asked.

Robin nodded, and Tom agreed to let her tag along.

It was fucking embarrassing to be carried out in a stretcher. All my classmates were watching me leave, and I caught Lucille whispering something about how attention seeking I was. Mrs Smith gave me a sad wave and said she would visit later. For most of the ride, I squeezed my eyes shut so I wouldn't have to see any of my classmates faces.

Funny. She doesn't look like she's actually happy about getting what she wants.

Maybe I did have a problem. And maybe it was bad enough. I thought about that for the ride down to the ambulance. It felt like reality had finally hit me. But it didn't take long for that thought to go away and be replaced by my old thoughts of denial.

Robin and I went in the back of the ambulance. Tom sat in the back too, just in case something happened. He said I was in pretty bad condition, which I just couldn't make myself believe. Our school was a whiles away from the hospital, so I knew it was going to be a bit of a long ride. So, to break the silence, I tried talking to Robin.

"So, uh, it's been a while, huh?" I said.

"Yea, no kidding." Robin replied with a sad smile.

"So… um… how are you doing? I haven't talked to you in a bit."

"Not… great. I miss you."

"Oh. I suppose that's my fault huh?" I tried to laugh it off. "I'm sorry I've been such a bitch lately. I don't mean to be."

"I know. I've looked into what anorexia can do to someone, and I guess one thing it does is change how you handle things. Most people can get pissy like you do."

"Lovely."

"So I know it's not your fault."

"You're too kind." I joked. Robin let out a small laugh. It was hard to laugh freely in such a tense situation.

"Why thank you." Robin replied. "So, I should ask, how are you doing?"

"Obviously amazing. I've gotten myself a one way ticket to the hospital for passing out due to not eating. Couldn't be better."

Robin giggled at my sarcasm. "No, but really. How are you holding up?"

"Ugh… I'm scared." I sighed. "I'm not sure what Dad's gonna think or do about this."

"Yea, your dad won't be too happy about this. If you want, I can explain what's going on for you. Take some weight off your shoulders."

"Take all the weight you want."

Robin gave me a glare. "Not funny."

"Sorry, sorry." I said. When I got nervous like this, it always went one of two ways. I either got pissed off or cracked inappropriate jokes. "But seriously, you would do that? Cuz I would seriously appreciate that."

"Yea I'll do it." Robin smiled.

We continued chatting the whole way to the hospital. It was like we never even fought. We were back to being just as close as ever. I missed this. I wanted her back in my life, but Diana hardly ever allowed it.