Looking back on my life, I would have to say that one strange day many years ago was the true beginning of my journey. I was extremely young but the war was still agonizing on all of us. If I did not meet Bram Harker that day and if he was not given that spell book to read. My life would have been so much easier and different, but I do not mind it at all. However, I have learned to not focus on the thousands ‘ifs’ in my life and to focus on the ‘now’ in my life.

My choices have made me from the boy I was into the man I am today. I would not wish it to be any different, maybe at some moments a little bit easier, but oh well; the past is in the past. Each scar I have, inside and out, it proves that I survived and continue to survive every day. I may not be strong on the outside but my heart shows that I am a warrior.

* * *

“Mommy, are we going to see Auntie Lily today?” I asked her, as she got ready to leave.

“Yes, we are, Little Bear. However, before we leave, can you find me my hair ribbons? I don’t want your Aunt to think that I’m a feral monster trying to attack her when she sees me.” She asked as she tried to brush the fluffiness out of her hair.

I nodded my head and ran off to search around. It was funny how Alex and I have a fluffy problem with my hair, unlike our sister. I checked all the old places for them and did not find them anywhere. I passed the kitchen in my search and did not even realize someone was there.

“Little Bear! Are you looking for these?” I heard my dad call out. “I found them mixed in with the laundry this morning.”

I turned around and ran to him. He handed me the two ribbons before picking me up. He bounced me in the air a few times, and then he hugged me and kissed my head.

“How is my littlest bear doing?” He asked as he scratched between my ears.

“I am going outside and to Auntie Lily’s house today!”

He put me back on the ground and picked up his paper from the table. I watched his white bear ears twitch from reading the news. For some weird reason, he always looks sad while reading it.

“Well then, you need to get these ribbons to your mother so that she doesn’t look like some ferocious monster when she walks outside the house.” He told me as I started to walk away. “Oy, Little bear! Do not forget to cover your ears and tail before you walk outside! I don’t want you to get hurt!”

“I know that! I may be little but I was not born yesterday!”

“I swear that you have your mother's attitude.”

“I’ll let her know that!”

“Please don’t!”

I walked to the entryway and gave my mother her ribbons as she handed me my scarf. I wrapped it around my head enough to hide the ears. I pulled my long shirt down to make sure that my little tail was covered up. I looked up to watch her shift her glasses. When she leaned down to fix my glasses, I saw the purple eyes that are so like mine in color and strength.

“Mommy, am I always going to have to hide all my life?”

“I hope not, I wish with a mother’s heart that one day, you could walk around without shrouding who or what you are. I hope that I will be alive when that day comes to pass.”

Even being as young as I am, I knew a bit about the war against humans, mages, and werebeasts. My mommy does her best to protect my siblings and me from the anger of the village. Even though people say evil things to her because they do not know the truth. I wish I could fight them all for her but she always stops me and tells me that I am too young to understand what is going on.

“All covered up?” She asked me while checking the scarf just in case.

“Yep!”

“Good then let’s go.”

She grabbed my hand and opened the front door. I do not have many chances to go outside, but I love feeling the nice crisp breeze that brushes between my ears. We walked by some playing children and then they all started to hide when they saw us.

My Auntie Lily only lives a few houses away from us. However, it still took enough time to hear all of the whispers from the other villagers. They do not know about my daddy because he is not allowed to go outside due to my mommy’s orders. If the villagers knew about the were-bears in my family, they might kill us, so we have to be careful. Also, my sister Flo and myself are not allowed to do magic otherwise they might burn us.

“Are we sure that’s even her child? We haven’t seen a husband anywhere so it must be out of wedlock then.”

“She might be a whore and he’s a bastard! She must have slept around during her time as a solder just to have him!”

“That’s why women shouldn’t be in the war! All they do is open their legs for the real soldiers.”

I felt her hand tighten at the last comment. I do not understand what they meant; everyone opens their legs to walk. I looked down at my legs and saw that they opened, closed, and then opened again.

“Why is he always wrapped up in a scarf? Is he sick? Why would she even think about bringing a sick child out in public? Does she even care about the other children living here?”

“At least her sister married before having children. She should take a leaf out of Lily’s book.”

Mommy carefully picked me up and kissed my forehead. She fixed my scarf to keep my animal parts covered. I looked up and I had to move her blond hair out of my eyes.

“Mommy, why do they only pick on you when you are with me or Alex?”

“Don’t listen to them; they don’t know you, and they don’t know our story.” She told me before she started to sing softly to my ears.

‘Listen my darling dear to the call of our hearts, follow the beat of our hearts. Close your eyes and see the flow of time, remember that you are mine. I will watch over you forever, and remember that you will always be my baby forever and ever.’

I think that I fell asleep from her song because all of a sudden, she started lightly shaking me awake. I started to rub my eyes to wake myself up. She fixed my glasses as I started to yawn.

“Little bear, we’re here.”

She set me down and I ran up to the porch, but I stopped when I heard the nearby snoring. I turned to my left and saw my Uncle Fenrir asleep in a chair with a bottle in his hands. I sniffed the air and I could smell a strange stinky smell coming off him.

“It looks like your uncle was out drinking at the tavern again.”

I jumped up when I heard the door open behind me. I turned my head to see my aunt at the door while she was holding a full water bucket.

“Ashen! Can you please move a little to your right for me, please?” Aunt Lily asked me.

Right when I moved, the bucket flew by my head and hit Uncle Fenrir right in the face. Then, Auntie picked me up and we went inside as he started to wake up. We heard him fall to the ground as the door closed, and then he yelled out some things that my mommy would never let me say at my age.

Even though they are the same age, my mother always acted older than Aunt Lily did. It was always funny how they don’t look like twins because of their hair and eyes. Aunt Lily has straight dark blond hair and blue eyes while my mother has curly golden blond hair with light violet eyes.

“Ashen, why don’t you go upstairs and play with Bruce and Lewis?”

“Okay, Auntie!” I said as she set me back down.

“Oh! I almost forgot to tell you. One of Fenrir’s old buddies is coming over and he is bringing his son, who is close to the same age as you. I’ll send him up when he gets here.”

I just nodded my head as I ran up the stairs. I always love coming to Auntie Lily’s house because it is always so much fun. Both Bruce and Uncle Fenrir can both do magic; sadly, they could die of anyone from the village found out. I was told that I am lucky I could hide my magic better because all I do is take and give energy.

Due to showing our were-bear parts, my brother Alexander, and I are not allowed to go to the village school with all the other children, unlike my sister, Florence. So, my only school teachers were my two human cousins, Bruce and Lewis. Both are smart even though they are only three years older than I am. Bruce knows a lot about the world, and Lewis is very book smart with his knowledge spreading across many subjects.

“Password?” Someone said behind the door after I knocked.

“Books are food for the brain but fish is tastier for me!”

I saw that Bruce asked the question. He let me into the room and I took off the scarf. We made a set of passwords just in case bad people try to sneak into the group.

“You alone?” He asked me as we sat down.

“Yep! Alex is at a friend’s house and Flo is at summer school. She got in trouble again.”

“Okay, let’s get started then! What did we leave off last time?”

“You were in the middle of teaching him two-digit addition,” Lewis said and I had to look up to find him.

He was sitting on the top of the bookcase with a book in his hand. He is always in strange places to read, it is weird, but I got used to it. He used to tell me that he does that so that he will not be bothered by anyone while reading. He fixed his glasses as he flipped the page in the book. I moved my head and saw that there was a ladder on the side of the bookcase. It is funny how the only thing that Lewis and I share, besides blood, is that we both wear glasses due to our eyesight.

“Thanks, bro!” then he looked at me, “Ash, what is ten plus twenty?”

It took me a while to remember the answer.

“Is it thirty?”

“Yes! Good job, what about seventeen plus thirteen?”

Before I had a chance to answer, someone knocked on the door.

“Password?” This time Lewis asked the question.

“Um, I think they said that it had something to do with food and fishes?” The person said.

“Close enough!” Bruce yelled out as he got up, “Ash, cover your ears just in case,” he whispered to me.

He opened the door right when I realized the answer to the math question.