Back at the gang’s hideout, Jason is complaining to Lola, “Rover isn’t much of a help lately.”

“He’s in love, what else would you expect?” Lola replies.

“He’s next in charge after Oren, so the gang should come first in his life.”

“Not even in Oren’s life does the gang come first. It only comes first in your life and I hope that will change soon,” Lola says while crossing her arms.

Jason is disappointed, “You don’t understand. The gang is everything we have.”

“No, it’s everything we have left from Dad, but we have so much more that is important now. Even Dad said family comes before the gang.”

Jason gives up, “I hate it when you’re right, but I am the leader. I have to concentrate on the gang.”

“Maybe you should concentrate on yourself for once. Everybody knows you’re still not over Mario’s death.”

The mention of his little brother’s name upsets Jason, “I am over it! But I know it’s my fault that he’s dead and I won’t let anything like that happen again!” Lola tries to say that it’s not her brother’s fault, but he cuts her off, “I should have watched out for him. I should have protected him. Dad trusted me.”

Lola waits a few seconds until Jason has calmed down a bit before saying, “We all miss them both, but it was never your fault. You weren’t even fully trained back then.”

Jason takes a deep breath, then he mumbles, “I have to protect you, Oren and Mum. That’s the least I can do.”

“We are old enough to protect ourselves now. You need a break.”

“Definitely not,” Jason states while crossing his arms, indicating that this discussion is over.

At that moment, Oren walks over to his siblings and asks, “Are you two already planning something for Friday or why do you look so tense again?”

“Do you mean the two shipments coming on Friday?” Jason asks confused.

“No, Roja’s 18th birthday!” Oren says, loud enough so other gang members could hear it as well. Jason tries to tell his siblings to be quiet, but it’s no use. Lola and Oren are both too excited.

“Really? Her 18th birthday is this Friday?” Lola asks.

“Yes, we have to plan a party!” Oren replies. Jason just stands there with his arms crossed.

“I don’t even know what to buy her as a present,” Lola says while trying to think of something Roja could wish for.

“We should just ask her!” Oren suggests and Lola agrees euphorically.

Jason steps in, “Stop that. No buying her presents and no celebration. She’s not one of us.” In his head, he knows how bad that sounds. How could he deny her the chance to celebrate her birthday with her friends? But he’s the gang leader, he has to make the right decisions for his family and keep them safe.

However, Lola won’t take no as an answer, “If you didn’t notice, she’s sleeping at our house and she’s my best friend. I think that makes her one of us.”

“Right, she didn’t do anything bad, just let her celebrate her birthday,” Oren adds. Jason knows he lost another argument against the twins. He doesn’t want to ruin the new friendship Lola found or pretend that Roja has done even just one bad thing while living in his house.

“Maybe she doesn’t even know it’s her birthday,” he says, but Lola just shakes her head and starts laughing,

“You’re an idiot. If she doesn’t know, I’ll tell her. Oren, are you coming with me?” Oren nods and both leave the hideout without waiting for their brother’s approval.

Jason tries not to show how disappointed he is, not in his siblings, but in himself. He wants what’s best for his family and he can see how desperately Lola needed a friend who actually likes her. If he’s being honest, he doesn’t mind having Roja in his home as much as he pretends to. He remembers the peaceful atmosphere he felt in the library with her and he almost smiles. However, his members can’t see him weak, he can’t let that happen. He lets his eyes wander across the room while trying to calm down when a short-haired blonde girl approaches him. “Hey boss,” she says flirtatiously. Jason smirks at her before starting a conversation. As he invites her over to his house for the evening, he doesn’t think of the girl in his guest room.

***

Lola runs into Roja’s room, hoping that she was there. Luckily, Roja hasn’t gone back to the library yet. “Do you know what’s on Friday?” the purple-haired girl asks. Roja shrugs, not knowing what her friend could be talking about. “It’s your 18th birthday!” Lola says, overly excited. Roja just stares at her, trying to stay calm. She takes a few deep breaths which alarms Lola, “Roja? Are you okay?”

“I would have been free,” Roja mutters. “At 18, I would be allowed to live on my own. People would have taken me away from Ric, given me a new life. I’ve held on to that little bit of hope that a social worker would help me find the right way. But now…” Roja tries to hold back her tears, she doesn’t want to seem ungrateful for everything that Lola’s family has already done for her.

However, Lola understands, “I’m sorry, I can imagine how difficult this situation is for you.” Lola sighs. They aren’t forcing Roja to stay there, at least Jason said she can leave whenever she wants. Nevertheless, his opinion could have changed now that he knows Roja has a connection to the Smiths. Letting her live alone would probably lead to her being taken to Dexter. There are still too many questions to let her just leave. Lola knows that Roja would understand why she has to stay here now if she knew who they are but at the same time Lola doesn’t want to make her friend even more scared. She doesn’t even correct Roja to inform her that nobody would have come to save her from Ric.

At that moment, Oren walks in. He immediately notices the uncomfortable atmosphere in the room and tries to cheer up both girls, “We’re going to plan a perfect birthday for you, Roja. You deserve a great birthday.”

Roja doesn't reply, but the voice in her head does, “No, you don’t deserve this.” Oren backs off a bit to let Lola hug her friend. He knows that Roja isn’t ready for him to hug her as she still gets a scared expression on her face when he comes too close to her. He accepts it, knowing that things like that take time like bruises need time to heal.

As Lola and Oren leave, Roja is alone in her room and lets out the tears that she tried to hold back while her friends were there. She’s been looking forward to her 18th birthday for a long time but now the fact that she has nowhere to go is too evident to ignore. All those years, the only reason she kept her sanity was because she knew she’d get out one day and she got her hopes up for having a normal life. Now she knows, no matter what happens, her life will never be normal. The only question left for her is “Why me?”

***

Not long after this, Roja is back in the library, trying to distract herself by reading. Why can’t her life be like those in these books? Ups and downs but in the end, everything turns out fine. Her mother used to say that her life isn’t a story in a book, but happy endings are still real. Roja stopped believing in that. She’s lost in her thoughts, not noticing what’s going on around her.

“I used to be alone here,” Jason says, standing right behind the chair she’s sitting in. Roja drops her book in surprise and turns around to look at him. Jason chuckles and walks around the chair to pick up the book and hand it to Roja.

“I can leave if you want me to,” the girl says quickly before taking the book.

“No, it’s okay. It’s nice to have someone here who enjoys reading. You didn’t notice me coming in, did you? You looked like you were crying.” As Roja doesn’t reply, he adds, “What’s wrong?” Roja explains that she talked to Lola about her birthday but leaves out all details. “Don’t you like that? After all, that’s your day,” Jason says.

Roja takes a deep breath before replying, “I was looking forward to this day but now I know I never had a real chance. I’m glad I’m here and not with Ric anymore but I had so many dreams when I was a child. So now, this day means nothing to me anymore.” Roja was fighting against her tears once again. Speaking about her dreams not coming true makes staying strong even more difficult than it already was for her.

Meanwhile, Jason looks at her, clearly seeing the sadness in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” he says. Roja is surprised. Did he just say he’s sorry? “It’s not fair to keep you here, but I promise you that there’s no place where you’d be safer right now. Ric is probably searching for you with his friends,” he continues. He tries to avoid telling her that Ric’s friends are actually his enemies and that Roja could put his whole family in danger by being here. If Dexter found out she is living with the Morellis, the war between the two gangs would start again. However, Jason knows Roja has nowhere to go and needs to be protected. Roja accepts Jason’s words, thinking that he knows that Ric is a criminal. There’s too much changing in her life right now to question why Jason even knows that or why he even wants her to stay.

“Lola and Oren would do everything to make you feel better here. You should let them celebrate your birthday. Who knows, it might be a good day?” Jason adds. Roja nods, knowing that Lola only wants the best for her. “You should go shopping with my mum and Lola to get some new clothes for your birthday party,” Jason says while smiling at the girl. As he sees her eyes light up, he adds, “But it has to be early in the morning. I’ll tell them about it, Lola will be really happy.” He chuckles because he knows he just made his sister and his mother really happy with the decision to let them go.

Some time later, Roja and Jason are reading again. Jason seems fully focused on his book while Roja can’t concentrate on hers. Her thoughts are mostly about the mysterious guy who’s sitting there with her. Sometimes, he is really aggressive and bossy but now he seems friendly and calm. He even apologised! Roja is one of those people who are quite quick to figure out what people think, but she hasn’t been able to get behind Jason’s secrets yet.

Jason notices that Roja is distracted and blames it on hunger. “You should go and eat something,” he suggests without looking up from his book.

“Everybody tells me to eat, but I know when I’m hungry,” Roja says slightly defiantly.

“Mary said you’re still undernourished so you need to eat more to get better,” Jason replies while looking up at the girl in front of him.

“I’m okay,” she says, trying to hide any emotion. Jason spots the slightly sad look on her face and tells her that Lola is probably already waiting for her in the kitchen.

In his mind, he asks himself, “I can see she’s not okay. Why can’t she just admit it?” He knew the answer to that question because he does the same. He says he’s okay, but it’s hardly ever true. Roja just nods before putting her book back on a shelf and leaving.

When she’s gone, Jason thinks about going to the hideout to check on his gang. However, the book he’s reading is too interesting, he can’t put it down. Roja recommended him this one. He has to admit that she has great taste in books. Suddenly, the beeping of his phone takes him back to reality. “The gang comes first,” he mumbles before correcting himself, “Family comes first, the gang comes second.” He nods as if to agree with himself before thinking about how much he misses his father and Mario, his little brother. With that, he puts the book on a chair and leaves.