Closing my eyes, I bury my face into my arms in frustration. I have music playing into my ears but it doesn't comfort me either. All I can think about is Will and if he's coming back for his tutoring. I could go back home and act like nothing happened today. But my body won't get up from this seat. Why won't it move?

I could care less about Will and just worry about myself like I always did. But my actions are telling me something else: I keep looking at my phone to check the time and to remind myself when his practice ends. Right now, the time is 4:37 pm and he should be done with his practice as it usually ends at 4:30 pm.

I rub my face in frustration. Why did I push him away? He was so nice to me and I just had to seem like I did. And that was my main motive: to push him away. But you know what's at stake and it might be for the better. I groan as I bury my face deeper into my arms. If he really cared about his studies, then he would come back.

But what if he didn't? What if Will just decided that it was fun to play with my feelings and watch me crumble again in my own misery? And what am I going to do about it if he did exactly that? Nothing. Just nothing. I can't do anything about it anyway. He's one of the most popular people in this school and if I go out and accuse him of playing with my feelings, he would just laugh it off. Just like what they did before.

A pit in my stomach starts to grow. But, maybe I could change that. I can change what I want and don't want. Grabbing my phone, I turn it on and scroll down to Will's contact or "That British Guy". Should I just do it or wait for him to do it? It doesn't matter at this point. All I just want to do is go home and rest.

Today's been such a hectic day. I just want to finish this. Typing furiously into my phone, I finally send him a text.

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Me: You coming here or not?

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I immediately flip my phone's screen over, overwhelmingly embarrassed at what I just did. Okay. The worst that could happen is that he doesn't reply and I walk back home without a ride. But that text sounded so harsh. Maybe I should've been a little nicer with it. Well, there's no way I can turn back time and re-send that text.

But Will knows my personality so it shouldn't be surprising that I am texting like this. Then all of a sudden, a ring from my phone shatters my thoughts and I stare at my phone in fear. Is it from him? Well, the only way to find out is to see it. I slowly pick up my phone and bring it toward me as my hand is shaking.

Turning on my phone, the text says:

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That British Guy: I'd thought you'd never ask 😊

-----------------------------

My heart skips a beat as I see this and before I can react, I hear the library door open. I freeze in my seat and make a quick prayer for my sanity. As I lift my head to watch the familiar person walk toward me with a small smile. I turn my head away from him in embarrassment as my face is rising in temperature.

"And hello to you, too," Will teases as he sets his gym bag on the wooden table in front of me.

And without thinking, I stand up and I look at him straight in the eyes. "Okay, look. I'm so sorry for what I said today and I regret even thinking about trying to push you away because I am already so used to being by myself. So please, don't be mad at me," I blurt out with a shaky voice.

At first, there’s silence. And then later, Will starts to laugh which confuses me even more. “I was never mad in the first place, Ash. Why would I get mad at something so small and so minuscule?” he asks as he walks toward me.

“I-I don’t know. I just…” I trail off as my face blazes. “I’m sorry. I’m just terrible with words and all I can say right now is that I’m sorry.” I can’t tell him anything else and why I am sorry. I should just leave it at that.

“Don’t be. I should be the one to apologize because I didn’t even give you the time to finish. I just tend to be...I don’t know. Impulsive at times and I’m trying to work on that. It might not seem like it, but I think I am.”

I shake my head. “Don’t worry. You’re not impulsive at all. Just...hear me out next time, okay?” I lift my gaze up at him as he’s standing right in front of me. Too close for me to feel comfortable.

“Yes yes. I will try my best. Don’t worry. But, do you still mind if I tag along with you from now on? I...just want to hang out with you and all that.” Then, his face turns a bright shade of pink. “That’s not what I meant. I meant like…”

I save him from his sanity as I say, “I know what you’re talking about. But, the reason why I said what I said today was because I just wanted you to keep track of your own friends. I mean, I really don’t mind if you tag along with me, but what’s going to happen when they think I’m stealing you from all of your friends? Then things are going to start to get messy and we both know that we don’t want that.”

“I understand. I should’ve thought about that. Maybe I am impulsive after all. But, hey, I mean we both apologized.” Will gives me a half-hearted smile.

“And what about it?” I tease.

“Well, I just thought we should...you know...hug it out?” His face is slowly turning into a darker shade of pink.

“Uh, come again?” I tease some more as I pretend to not understand what he’s saying. It’s fun playing with him sometimes.

He jerks his head to the side in embarrassment without letting me see his face again. “You know what I mean,” he mutters.

“Fine fine. I was just kidding with ya. Come here you big doof.” I walk closer to him as I place my arms around his waist and he stiffens at first. Although I don’t normally like physical contact with other people, Will’s an exception as it was my fault in the first place. And to my surprise, he responds by putting his arms on my back, pulling closer to him against his chest. He then places his chin on top of my head.

I take a whiff of his scent and he has a strong smell of mint. And his arms: so strong and so comforting to be in. Maybe this is the right place to be. It has to be.