-Jaden-
I made a mistake by going to that boy last night. It wasn't even my fault! I was tricked! I didn't know I was heading straight to him! And now! For fuck's sake... Now my soul was tied stronger to his. I could feel it. His presence had grown a little bit stronger, and I couldn't sleep well because of this. Because of him. I could feel his restlessness like the faraway buzzing of a mosquito, and it kept bothering me throughout the night.
At school I was less of a person and more of an asshole. I was aware of the ugly looks I was getting from my friends, but they knew damn well I wasn't at my sweetest when I hadn't had my good night's sleep. And that damned boy was making it worse.
I could feel I had lost a part of myself. I wasn't trying to sound like a poet, no. I was not there completely. I didn't know if it was normal or if I was just losing my goddamn mind, but a small piece of me was with him. I had lost it last night, when I saw him looking out of the window of the only group home this town had. That small part of me had stayed behind when I fled the scene after realizing the boy was coming my way.
He could feel me. There was no doubt about it. I was quite sure he was just like any normal human being – completely unaware of our existence. Because our goddess had decided that he was my... mate... He was now bound to me. To a werewolf. My own personal opinion about mates aside, this was not fair to him either. He was probably wondering why he was suddenly feeling so strange. I was not going to let him into my life. Humans didn't belong with werewolves. There was no way in hell I'd let that happen, so now he was forced to live with that empty space in his soul for the rest of his life.
I was dead serious about not wanting a mate, so now two lives were ruined because someone wasn't listening. But I wasn't exactly facebook-friends with the Moon goddess so there was nothing I could do about it.
And I couldn't be as heartless as I thought. It happened again. Just after lunch break ended. I got angry without a reason.
"It's happening again!" Tilly whispered when the first wave of anger washed over me out of the blue.
"We need to get out before someone sees us," Arch spoke hurriedly, and together we rushed towards the closest exit.
Lucky for us, this time wasn't as strong as the first, and none of us had trouble containing our urge to change our forms. We were still too young, too inexperienced to handle our nature in stressful situations, so I was glad about not having to have that fight with myself.
"You know what's causing this, right?" Tilly hissed at me when we were standing outside, behind our school.
"I have no idea!" I almost yelled at her.
"Come on! You're not that stupid! It's your mate! He's in danger!" Tilly nearly screeched at me.
I lost my ability to speak. For a moment, I just stood there and stared at her. There was too much information to handle at once. She knew about that boy? This seizure – or whatever the hell it was – happened because he was in danger? And he was in danger?
I turned around, trying to get some air into my lungs. The feeling I had was still there, but I was suddenly sure Tilly was wrong. Not in danger. If this seizure, or whatever the hell it was called, was my instincts reacting to whatever that human was going through, I could not feel danger. Last time, now that was definitely danger. Oh, I got mad at myself for not realizing that before. Of course I had the feeling it happened because of him, but the meaning of it was lost to me. I knew mates could feel each other's distress miles away, but I never thought it could start happening right away.
"What are you waiting for!" Tilly hissed, grabbing my arm.
"He's not in danger," I said harshly, and turned to glare at both of them. "You knew?"
"I told you this isn't just children's play," Arch said. "We are your betas, the protectors of your pack, your fangs and claws. You are tied to us in every possible way there is, as is your mate."
I shivered when he said the last word. "He's not in danger, so you can put your claws away."
"How can you tell? A second ago, you didn't even know this was happening because of him!" Tilly said angrily.
"Because I'm not as braindead as you two seem to think!" I yelled back at her. "I'm just so sick and tired of living my life the way other people see fit! And now he's dragged into this! Was it too fucking much to ask to let me fall in love with someone on my own?! Without being forced to have a mate someone else chose for me?! I'm supposed to live my life with him, and I don't even know his name! His, for crying out loud! What am I supposed to do with a male mate?!"
They stared at me for a long time in silence. I took a few deep breaths and turned my back on them.
"It's Oliver," Tilly said carefully.
"Oliver..." I repeated just as quietly. "You know what? I hate being a werewolf," I added, before I changed my form into wolf without caring if someone saw it. I didn't care if someone had heard my little rant.
I wanted to get far away from that place as possible, but the image of this... Oliver... from last night wouldn't leave me alone. He was not in danger now, but something happened. His soul was crying out in pain, and no matter how hard I hated the fact that I had a mate, it was not his fault. He was crying out to me, most likely without even realizing it, and I had to follow my instincts because I was not a scumbag, or at least I wanted to think so.
I stopped running, when I could smell his scent. I had no idea what he was doing in the woods when he was supposed to be in class. When I walked closer to him, I could hear him crying. He was devastated, like someone dear to him had just died, but that was not it. I had no idea what had gotten him so upset, but when I got even closer, I started thinking that maybe Tilly was right after all. He was not in immediate danger, but he was definitely scared.
I stopped when I saw a glimpse of him in the middle of old trees. He was sitting in the snow without a jacket on. He looked so... small. I took a few careful steps closer to him, and when he still didn't notice me, I got a bit closer.
What was I supposed to do? I didn't want him in my life. He was not safe in our life. I should have just left now that I knew he was relatively all right, but I felt sorry for him. If he lived in a group home, didn't it mean he didn't have a family? I had never seen him with a friend at school either. I could almost smell his loneliness in the forest.
I still hadn't decided what to do, when he started calming down. I froze when he started recollecting himself, and wiping his face dry.
Then he looked up at me. He seemed confused for a moment. I almost panicked since I still didn't know what to do. I expected him to start screaming – every sane person left running when they came across a big-ass wolf – but instead, he let out a short, humorless laughter.
"I'm going crazy..." he muttered with a sniff. "No, I am definitely crazy..."
Okay that... didn't make much sense. Was he crazy? He just stared at me. If I were an actual, wild wolf, he would probably be dead by now, but there he was, watching me.
"It was you," he then whispered. "Last night. You were outside of my home."
Oh crap. What the hell was I supposed to do now? Did he know about werewolves after all? Why was he so calm?! It made me anxious to see him so calm!
"It's all right, don't be afraid," he said, leaning a bit closer. Fuck, I forgot he could feel what I was feeling. "I know you're wary of me, but it's all right. I won't hurt you."
No shit... Maybe he did know I was a werewolf after all. I mean, he was talking to me like he would talk to another person. That thought calmed me down a bit. Maybe this would go well after all. If he knew about werewolves, then we could have a decent conversation about this little matter we had in our hand. Us being mates and all that shit.
"Why are you following me?" he asked. "I'm pretty sure I felt you around last night, and I saw pawprints in the snow."
Man... this thing between us was so strong he could already feel me close by? The Moon goddess didn't waste any time apparently. I sighed. I figured that I should just change back into my human form, so I could actually answer him...
"I think I'm hallucinating," he said, stopping me. "Of course you're not real. I'm just imagining things... Why would a wolf be following me?"
He laughed shortly, and once again, it was a humorless one. He stood up and pulled his jacket tighter around his narrow shoulders, before looking at me again.
"Last time I was seeing things, I ended up in a psych ward. Maybe you were here to remind me of that," he told me, before he started walking back to school. I, on the other hand, stayed behind.
Alrighty then. My mate definitely didn't know werewolves existed, and now he thought he was a crazy person. This was going well. This was going so fucking well...
Thank you, Moon Goddess. Thank you so fucking much...
Comments (9)
See all