-Oliver-
I spent the rest of the day at school trying to fight back my fear. I couldn't get rid of Jack's words.
"It's not only me you're pissing off."
It was not just two teenagers fighting with each other. It wasn't just some small little quarrel Jack and Jaden had going on. It was about two gangs fighting over territory, and I was now a part of it. I was terrified. I thought Jack and his friends were bad enough, but realizing that this thing was far bigger than that...
And I couldn't even tell anyone. I would only drag them down with me, that I already knew, but I had heard stories, terrible stories, about what happened to those who put their nose into their business. Whenever I even thought about telling someone, I could almost see everyone I cared about... dead. No. I wasn't telling anyone. It was a mantra, playing in my head nonstop. I would not get anyone killed.
But I would die. That was getting clear to me. Dead, or worse, and I didn't want to know what could be worse. I just knew there was something worse.
The fear didn't leave me. Jack's aura followed me everywhere I went. I also had the feeling he didn't believe even for a second that I would actually find out what he wanted to know. He just wanted to torment me. I mean, how on earth could I possible find out where Jaden's secret hiding place was? He was not going to talk about it. It was a secret hiding place for crying out loud!
It was horrible to realize my fate. I couldn't do what he wanted. He knew that, so... What was he going to do with me? Did he give me a chance just to see if I could actually pull it off before he would turn my life into a living hell, or was he just trying to make me so afraid I would lose my mind first? He was doing a great job if that was the case.
Getting out of school had never been such a relief for me before. Jack was outside in the parking lot when I stepped out through the main doors, and he turned to look at me the second I saw him, but he only smiled, before getting in his car. That was the scariest smile I had ever seen in my entire life. I didn't waste a second to get away from that place.
I decided to take a longer route home, so I could avoid every road and street there was in case Jack decided to follow me by car. I kept my eyes and ears open the entire time, but he didn't follow me. Once I arrived at the orphanage, I didn't go too close to it. Instead, I hid in the forest and stayed there for a long time, watching the building. Just in case Jack would still show up.
But he didn't.
I was losing my mind. I would soon turn crazy if this continued. And it would continue, there was no doubt about that. When I finally found the courage to step out of my hiding place, cross the street and get inside, I almost started crying from relief. I hurried upstairs, wishing there was no one in our room, so I could have a moment to calm down. I really needed that. My stomach was twisting and turning, my arms and legs felt weak, my breathing was shallow and I couldn't stop the silent whimpers from escaping my lips every now and then.
I could still feel his aura. It had followed me all the way home, and when I closed to door of our empty room, I jumped around, expecting to see him there. He was not, but his presence was. I stared in front of me, blinking hard, expecting to see his dark shadow lurking in the corners. There was nothing there.
"I'm losing my mind," I whispered, pressing my hands over my eyes. "I'm losing it..."
I let out a short laugh, even though I had nothing to laugh about. I sat down on the floor, next to the door, hiding my face behind my knees. I could feel something touch my shoulder, but at the same time, I knew there was no one there.
There was no shadow. It was just my fear. Jack's horrible darkness couldn't have followed me home, because there were no such things. I was just losing it. Knowing I was in danger had broken me easily, because of the things that had happened to me in the past.
I just couldn't deal with this fear.
"Please, go away..." I whimpered. "Stop messing with my head... Jack..."
Why me?
Why me...?
Why...?
I may have blacked out, or maybe I was just too scared to understand anything about time, but when I lifted my head up, it was much darker in the room. I sniffed, and wiped my cheeks dry. The aura... Darkness or a shadow or my own fear, whatever it was... It was still there, but...
I straightened my posture and moved onto my knees, before sitting down again. I could breathe a bit easier, and I barely noticed I had stopped crying. I stared out of the closest window, ignoring the shadow for the first time that day. It was... ignoring me? Distracted. It wasn't trying to nest in my soul anymore.
There was another presence outside.
I gathered my courage and walked to the window, peering out into the dark yard. I didn't see anything or anyone, but... it was there. I was sure of it.
The darkness vanished, leaving behind no traces of it ever even being there. Whatever there was outside, the shadow feared it.
"There's no shadows..." I muttered to myself absentmindedly, still trying to see something, anything, outside.
If I could have seen it, I would have said it was another shadow, but it wasn't a dark one. A white shadow. No, not white. Gray, but mostly white. I was not making any sense.
"I'm going crazy," I said again, sitting down on someone's bed, still keeping my eyes on the yard.
This shadow didn't want to come close to me, but it was curious. I was so losing my mind. A presence, not a shadow. A... spirit. Something. It was there. I was sure of it. I could feel it just like everyone else could see a cat hiding under the bushes. It was there.
"I am crazy," I concluded. "I know you're there. I know. You are there. So, I must be crazy..."
The darkness was there, until this new presence came. Part of me was about to freak out because I was feeling presences now. The rest of me was about to freak out because there was a dark shadow following me, wanting to hurt me. I would have, but now the dark one was gone, and this new one was still around, and it was much nicer.
I stood up and hurried to the door before I could even think about doing it. I wanted to go closer. I wanted to know if I could actually see it if I was close enough. I was drawn to it. I wanted to know more about it. It was somehow familiar as well. I must have met it before. Well, felt it close by. I had no idea what had changed. Last time when I was close to Jack, I had felt his dark aura, but today I had almost seen it around me. This lighter one, I knew I had felt it before, but it never was this strong, not until now.
Whatever was going wrong with me, it was getting worse. Or better. I didn't want to think that far just yet. Now I just wanted to go closer to that gray shadow, and hopefully learn more about it.
"Oliver? I was just about to call you! When did you get home?" Mrs. Bundt's voice stopped me to a halt just before the front door. I turned around and saw her walking through the corridor towards me.
"Oh, I came home right after school," I said. I still had no idea what time it was. "I was just going to get some fresh air before dinner. Is that all right?"
"Ten minutes," she said sternly.
"Okay!" I said, and continued my way to the door.
I could still feel it when I stepped outside. I could tell exactly which way to go, so I started walking towards the street. I didn't walk fast, because I knew the shadow was wary of me. I didn't want to scare it away. Once I was next to the street, I waited for a moment, before crossing it. Once I was at the other side, I continued walking even slower than before.
It was close now. I could feel it behind the closest trees, watching me.
"Hello?" I said quietly, stepping behind the first tree. I didn't see anything in the dim light, so I took another step. "I know you're here. I want to thank you."
There was a small space between four big spruces. I stopped to a halt. I couldn't see anyone or anything there, but I could feel it. The light shadow was there, lingering in the chilly air. I took another step, and reached out carefully, but I couldn't feel anything. It gave me strength, nonetheless. I felt stronger for some reason.
"Thank you," I whispered, but no one replied to me.
I was definitely crazy.
I spent a few minutes there, enjoying the calmness this spirit filled me with. Soon I noticed it was slowly fading away, and it made me sad. I feared the dark shadow would come back if this light one disappeared.
"Don't go," I whispered into nothingness. "Please..."
Too soon it was gone, leaving me alone with my fears and doubts about my mental health. I stayed there for a moment longer, but my time was running out.
I was about to leave, when I saw something in the snow that I hadn't noticed before.
Pawprints of a large dog.
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