-Jaden-

Even though that weird fit of mine passed, I still couldn't get rid of my anxiousness. It didn't help that neither Arch or Tilly spoke to me during the rest of day. Driving home was especially awkward, so I was feeling kind of glad when I could see the gates to our territory looming ahead of us.

For outsiders, the gate probably seemed like an ordinary, long-forgotten iron pole blocking the way. The forest was thick here, so there was no other way to get to our lands. The road itself was just a small gravel path, just wide enough for one car. A few yards behind the gate, where the road turned left, there was our first outpost, a small house where the guards were probably making coffee right about now. If anyone got the idea to break through the gate, the guards would be there to welcome them in a not-so-friendly manner. Townsfolk thought the road led to that house, so no one was even interested to get past the gate, but the truth was something quite else.

Arch went to move the iron pole out of the way, and Tilly drove the car past him, stopping to wait while he locked the gate again. Soon after, we drove past the guardhouse, where a few familiar faces greeted us with a short wave. It took us around fifteen minutes to get to our small village deep in the forest, where no one knew our small community existed.

I did like our territory. The small houses were hidden under the old, massive spruces and pine trees, scattered here and there. They were all unique, built by hand from massive logs and connected via small pathways. In the middle of it all lay our House of Elders, the heart of our community.

I liked the fact that we were so close to nature. Not all of us had electricity, and even fewer had running water, but it didn't matter. Those who didn't have running water were welcome to use someone else's shower if they wanted. During summer it wasn't a problem, since we had a lake not even a mile away from us, but now it was covered in thick ice. We got the electricity we needed from solar panels and tiny wind turbines, so we didn't need any help from humans.

We had basically everything we needed in here. Some of us hadn't left the village in months. There were a little more than a hundred werewolves in our pack, so we weren't technically a small community, but some were living with the humans, and most of those who were still staying in our lands were either too old or too young to fight, so we were a tad bit vulnerable in case someone – the Imbecile Thorns for example – decided to attack.

Tilly stopped the car in front of my house. I wanted to say something to them, but they both were looking away from me in such an intense way that I decided to keep my mouth shut. I exited the car and closed the door behind me, and before I had even turned around completely, Tilly was already driving away.

"Thanks, guys..." I muttered, and walked to our front door through our small garden that was now covered in snow, even though we had three big spruces covering our house.

The lights were on in our home – Dad had insisted we had electricity and running water – so I assumed either one or both of my parents were home. I grimaced at the thought of having to face them right now. I just wanted to be left alone, but I knew they wanted to know about my day. They were especially keen to know if I had actually attended to all of my classes

I walked up three steps to our small porch, and opened the front door. The warmth of our fireplace welcomed me gently when I stepped in. My mother, on the other hand, didn't welcome me as gently.

"Did you skip classes?" she asked first thing when I closed the door behind me.

"Yes, Mom, I did," I sighed.

"WHAT?!"

I rubbed my temples. "It was a joke – the little snitch Ryder would've told you if I missed even a minute," I spoke.

"Oooo the big boy is giving attitude," Mom said, stepping in front of me in our small entrance hall, crossing arms over her chest. "Want to take that back?"

I took a deep breath, and nodded. "Sorry..."

She stared at me for a moment under her dark, well-kept bangs, and I started to feel uncomfortable under her green eyes. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I mumbled, knowing she didn't buy it.

"Yeah, right," she said. "Well, if you don't want to talk to me, you may as well go mope in your room. But you know, it always helps if you get rid of some of that shit that's been bothering you, and you know talking to me is a good way to do so."

I could've started lying to her and tell her I was absolutely fine, but that wouldn't lead us anywhere, so I just nodded, and headed to a small set of stairs next to our living room that led up in my room.

"Did you have a fight with your friends?"

I stopped in the middle of the staircase. "No..."

"I knew it," she said. "This is the third day they haven't been in our house. That's quite alarming."

"We didn't have a fight... They just... have a problem with me... I guess..." I muttered.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Mom asked, and I heard her taking a few steps after me.

"I'm sure," I said, before stepping into my room, closing the door.

I turned on the light on my desk, and dropped my bag at my feet, before sitting down on my bed. I didn't have much in the room, just the bed, desk, a wardrobe and a TV with a DVD player next to it – obviously we didn't have satellite or internet or anything like that so watching DVD movies was pretty much our only option – but I usually didn't stay at home so that was more than sufficient for me.

The anxiety was still eating me up, so I couldn't even think about doing anything. I just stared in front of me for a long while, trying to ignore the feelings I had inside me, and the questions lurking nearby. I wished I could go back to... no, that didn't help. I wished this never happened to me. I didn't want it. I thought I had been pretty clear that I didn't want this! I let out a groan and lay back down on my bed, rubbing my temples.

I didn't want any of it. That was the truth. I didn't want to be the next alpha. Sometimes I didn't even want to be a werewolf! Sometimes I was so jealous of the human teens, who spent time at the mall or at home watching freaking cable! Fuck that sounded boring, but at least they didn't have to train every single day in case their neighbors decided to invade their lands and kill everyone they loved, or that their secret got out and a bunch of hunters blasted into their homes, killing everyone on sight just because they read a few stories about supernatural beings!

And it didn't help that I was constantly being reminded that it would be my responsibility to keep our pack safe someday, and if I failed, it would mean genocide!

I didn't even notice I had turned into a wolf until I spotted my black paws. My anxiety eased up when my animal instincts took over my human side, and as I lied there on my bed, it became a bit easier to breathe. It still wasn't enough though. I had to go for a run. I couldn't stay inside any longer.

Mom yelled after me when I run down the stairs, telling me to come back for dinner. I jumped against the door and without bothering to close it, I ran.

At first I just roamed around our territory, trying to avoid everyone, but when that turned out to be impossible – a lot of us enjoyed roaming around our lands – I headed towards the town. I stayed in the forest, spooking deer and squirrels on my way. It didn't bring me the joy it usually did. I was starting to feel better though. Less anxious.

When I could see the first houses, I stopped. I was close to our school. The street in front of me wasn't familiar, but I still knew where I was – it was really difficult to get lost in this town. I sat down to take a breather, wondering what kind of brain damage I was having for heading towards the school. I would have laughed if wolves could do that. I shook my head and got up on my feet, ready to head in a completely different direction, but something stopped me.

I turned to look at the street, wondering what it was that I was feeling. I couldn't see nor smell anything odd, but there was something that had struck my interest. I carefully sneaked closer to the quiet street, until there were only a few trees between me and it.

It was... odd. I had no idea what was going on. I spent quite some time there, trying to figure out what was so fascinating about this street. When I was about to get frustrated and just leave, I saw something.

A small figure in one of the windows behind the street.

I stopped breathing for a moment, when I realized I had come straight to that boy. That boy. The one who was absolutely nothing special to me. Yeah, that one.

I turned my back on him and left. And two steps later I turned back around to see him again. And for some reason I inched closer to the road because fuck common sense and my will to stay single – thank you very much, Goddess. I didn't even want to have a mate! Why the fuck was I staying in that place?! That boy meant nothing to me!

I sat down again, taking a closer look at the tiny figure at the window. He seemed... sad. And lonely. And... troubled. Maybe even scared.

Suddenly... I wasn't in a hurry to leave.

Fuck...