Zoey is a complex person. I’ve known this since I’ve met her. Sometimes she just comes out of nowhere and says random things, like how she wanted to be kissed. Sometimes she doesn’t say anything at all. What is going through that girl’s head is a mystery to me. I think it might be impossible to figure out.

Zoey is just Zoey.

Just like I am just me.

Looking back I think it should have been obvious that Zoey had a hard home life. I mean sometimes she would just ride her bike to my house and I would let her sneak in. She always looked like she had been crying, but when I asked her about it, she wouldn’t say anything she would just curl up next to me in bed. Sometimes Zoey would be out riding her bike all freaking day, just riding circles around the block and doing nothing at all. Sometimes she would want to hang out with me and I would ask if we could hang out at her house, she would always redirect the conversation or just change her mind completely about hanging out.

I feel like an idiot for not seeing it sooner.

All the signs were there, I had just been too blind to see them. According to Alvin, who I forced to tell me everything he knows about Zoey’s home life after that complete and utter disaster between us, Zoey’s dad is well…

Not a good man.

Their mom died from cancer a few years back, which I also didn’t know. She died when Jacky was just going into high school. Ever since their dad went on a downward spiral. Became an acholic, blows all their money on gambling, and occasionally has temper tantrums and abuses his daughters, both verbally and even physically. Jacky takes most of the physical abuse, or so she used to.

But now I’m not so sure.

If Jacky is working at 2 jobs and going to community college then how can she be home to take the physical abuse?

That thought made my guts all twisty in a very bad way.

I felt guilty. I mean yeah if someone had told me that Zoey was pretending to be someone’s friend so that the person I love would hate me, I might freak out too. Which brought me to Wes.

The next day at school I grabbed his stupid scrawny asexual arm and dragged him into the gender-neutral bathroom, which was only one stall.

“Ow, hey, easy.” He complained.

“What the hell!?” I shouted at him.

“I’m guessing things didn’t go well?” he sighed.

“Didn’t go well? No! Things definitely did not go well. No thanks to you!” I smacked him in the arm.

“Hey! Sorry, she cornered me, what was I supposed to do?”

“Uh lie, or change the subject, or I don’t know, ask her why the heck she’s been being a freaking— Anything but what you did would have been better.”

“Did you at least tell her how you feel?”

“Yes! And thank you for that, you fucking asshole!” I pushed him before storming out of the restroom.

“Poppy! Poppy, I’m sorry!” He chased after me.

“She said she would never date me in a million years, not even if I paid her, so thank you for that.” I wiped my tears and sped walked away from him.

He deflated and stopped chasing me.

“Hey!” Hilary ran up behind me and engulfed me in a hug.

“Not now Hilary,” I pushed her away and walked into the cafeteria.

She shrunk in on herself.

“Is this because I kissed you? I’m sorry.” She said softly.

I sighed and turned to face her,

“No. It’s not you, I’m just dealing with something. Sorry.”

She quickly brightened up, “Oh, okay then. Anything I can help with?”

“No.” I sniffled before walking to the table and plopping down.

“Are you sure, I can be pretty helpful.”

I shook my head no and slumped down in my chair.

Then before Hilary could try and say anything else Zoey stomped over to the table. I could tell she is peeved all over again. She had smoke coming out of her ears. I quickly stood up.

“Zoey! Don’t.” I got in the way before she could spit fireball truths at Hilary.

“Why? She deserves to know.” She spat.

“It’s not like that anymore.”

“Then what is it like?” she pushed me.

“What’s going on?” Hilary stood up.

“Zoey, please… I’m sorry for what I said last night.”

“Well, I’m not!” She shouted.

I recoiled back and looked away from her.

“Poppy? You okay?” Hilary asked, rubbing my back.

“Don’t feel sorry for her, she doesn’t deserve it!” Zoey spat.

“I just… I just wanted you to like me.” I said softly.

“I would never, ever! Like someone like you.”

The cafeteria erupted into Oh’s and damn’s, and I felt more tears coming on.

“Stop it! Leave her alone!” Hilary said.

“Tell her the truth, tell her what you did to me!” Zoey demanded, she had tears in her eyes and she pushed me against the table again.

“Fight, fight, fight!” everyone cheered.

“Zoey please,” I begged.

She pushed me again, this time her own tears started falling.

“You guys cut it out!” Wes ran over to us.

“Tell her!” Zoey demanded.

I shook my head no.

She punched me in the face.

“Oh!” the cafeteria erupted.

“Zoey stop!” Wes held her back.

I held my cheek and looked down in shame.

“You were right about one thing; we aren’t friends anymore. Not now, not ever again!” she spat.

It was too much to take. That hurt worse than her saying she could never love me. It was like all the great times we had as friends flashed through my head, all the times I made her laugh, or held her in my arms. All the times we snuck out and rode our bikes around in the middle of the night. The time when we microwaved marshmallows for smores, the time she skipped a stone across the creek, the time when we sang bad karaoke at the top of our lungs because no one was in the house. All just down the drain, ripped away and tainted forever.

I ran out of there and ran into the gender-neutral bathroom and broke down crying, locking myself inside.

“Poppy, Poppy let me in.” Hilary banged on the door.

I let her in, but not because I wanted to, but I didn’t want Zoey telling her the truth about me spying on her and pretending to be her friend. She engulfed me into a hug and held me in her arms as I cried heavily into her.

“Shh, don’t listen to her. You are amazing. I’m your friend and always will be.”

I pulled back to look at her, I had to tell her, she had to know the truth. I opened my mouth to do it, but when I looked into those stupidly cute lavender eyes and thought about what those eyes would look like if she looked at me the way Zoey did, I couldn’t do it.

She gave me a small smile and wiped my tears with her hands.

I let out a shaky break and buried my head into her shoulder, she sighed and rubbed my back.

“Did you love her?” she asks.

I nod into her.

“And she didn’t love you?”

I nodded again.

“Oh Poppy, it’s okay. There are other people, way better than her. She’s so mean.” She said.

I wrapped my arms tightly around her and nuzzled my head into her neck. I heard her breath get caught in her throat and she tensed up.

“Promise… Promise we’ll always be friends?” I ask.

“I promise.” She whispered.

“No matter what?”

“Yes.”

“Promise?”

She pushed me back and looked into my eyes.

“Promise.” She said seriously.

I smiled at her and kissed her on the cheek.

She smiled back and kissed me on the cheek too.

“Butterscotch?” she offered.

I giggled and nodded yes.

“I also have jolly ranchers if you want variety.” She dug around in her purse.

“How did you get to be so perfect?” I asked.

“Sugar, spice, and everything nice.” She poked me in the nose before handing me the candy.

“Yeah well, I’m pretty someone screwed that up with me,”

“Nope, I don’t think so.” She shook her head.

I rolled my eyes and opened the candy. She grabbed my hands in hers stopping me from popping it in my mouth. I looked up meeting her gaze. Her lips look so soft, her eyes so kind. Without a word she leans in closer to me, her lips brushing against my own as if she was afraid I would push her away.

I felt my face heat up and my guts twist up.

She began to pull back but I stopped her by deepening the kiss. Her lips felt so warm and tasted so sweet. I closed my eyes and leaned into her. Our lips came apart softly before pushing back together even softer, just a whisper of the kiss we just shared. My heart was beating like crazy as we had three more whisper kisses. She squeezed my hands in hers before pulling back her eyes fluttering open the same time mine did. We stayed looking into each other’s eyes.

We just had our first real kiss.

First…

Because I want there to be more.

Holy crap, I like Hilary King, like… a lot.

Then the bell rang and we both flinched.

“See you tomorrow?” she asked as she stood up.

“Tomorrow?”

“The project?” she helped me up.

“Oh yeah, of course,” I said nervously.

She giggled before kissing me on the cheek again.

I smiled at her before returning the favor.

“Come on,” she grabbed my hand in hers and led me out of the bathroom.

A simple butterscotch candy caught between us.