I stared at the ceiling while the clock on my wall continued to tick. At first it was pretty annoying when I got it a while back, but after some time I got used to it.

I haven’t checked the time since I decided to go to ‘sleep’ at twelve am. But of course, I haven’t even had a wink of sleep yet. I picked up my phone, though I forgot that it was on its brightest setting, which hurt a bit and blinded me for a few seconds.

It was already almost five in the morning. Have I really been staring this long at my ceiling? Maybe I zoned out or something.

I wish I was tired, but I’m not. Which is only making it harder for me to fall asleep.

Maybe I am tired and I’m just not noticing it, I’m not sure.

I closed my eyes, hoping to fall asleep.

I waited a bit, it took some time. But eventually, that method seemed to have worked.

. . .

I stood in the kitchen, making myself breakfast.

I felt terrible. But I was hungry, so I decided to eat something, like any normal person would do.

I was eating avocado on toast. Don’t know why, I love avocado. It’s just nice.

It was already almost eight in the morning. I ended up getting about two hours of sleep.

I feel like shit, like any usual person would. As far as I know, it’s unhealthy to get two to three hours of sleep daily. But it’s pretty unintentional so I can’t really control that.

I went on my phone while eating, I was sitting on my couch. There wasn’t anything really to do on my phone so I settled with watching something on TV.

Some time later I finally found something to watch.

It wasn’t that interesting, I was on my phone while watching, though I wasn’t really paying much attention to the screen.

I don’t even have anything to do on my phone, I don’t get messages and go on social media every now and then. Normally I just end up playing games or something like that.

After a while I got bored. I didn’t have anything to do though. I have a pretty medium sized apartment, it’s kind of empty, but I don’t need anything else besides the simple things I would need in a place to live, decorations are the least of my worries. Back to the point, there’s nothing to do and I’m getting impatient.

I thought about going on a walk. I wasn’t going to at first. It was almost 1pm though, which meant that I would have to spend the rest of my day doing nothing at all. It’s not different from any other day in my life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get bored.

I grabbed my phone, inhaler, medication and other things that I probably didn’t need, chucking it in my bag. I took a hair tie and my tag, wrapping my tag around my neck as I left my apartment, locking the door.

Walking is the only form of exercise I get because I don’t go to the gym. Like hell I would. Even if I wanted to, I would never, ever, go to a gym. Four reasons, one being that I hate people, two being that I’ll get so much anxiety because of those people and three being that I can't exercise long before getting out of breath and almost having an asthma attack, and last but not least four being that the amount of deodorant I’ll be able to smell would cause even a person without asthma to get triggered. Well, not theoretically. But I’ll probably suffocate before I can even stand in that place for ten seconds.

I blocked out the cars that I could hear in the distance. I don’t even know where I’m going, I’m just walking. It’s how doing this usually goes, I never have a place to go, I just go wherever my legs take me I guess.

This isn’t typically a quiet street, nor is it a noisy street. I’d prefer if there weren’t any cars, but at this point I don’t really care that much anymore.

I paid some attention to the strands that were dangling in front of me as I walked.

It has been like this for years, I always let my hair cover the right side of my face. So I usually rely more on my left eye than my right eye since half of the time I only use my left. People have always mistaken it for me being shy and related it to that because I hide half of my face all the time. Though it’s not really that. I’m not shy, I just don’t like people in general. But isn’t shy being nervous in front of others or something like that? Then does that mean I am?

I don’t even know anymore.

I just hate showing the right side of my face, that’s it. When I was picked on because of it, it must’ve made me even more self-conscious and it’s probably why I’m still like that to this day.

I continued walking to random places for another hour or so and eventually decided to head back home when it started getting slightly colder.

If it was possible, I would walk forever, it’s certainly one of the only things that is able to help me escape from this world for a specific amount of time.