You-!” Cheng shouted angrily, lifting me off the floor and stomping into the bathroom, pinning my back against the tiles once entered in the standing shower. He immediately turned on the water that freezingly slid down over our bodies without giving me the time to think straight or even breathe for how cold it was.

“Who the fuck touched you?!" my friend yelled at me, implored me to reply just so that maybe he will stop his brain from tormenting itself over the idea that his friend turned out to be a whore. 

"Just let me go!" I complained, trying to break free from his grip but with the only result of being smacked against the wet tiles again and my head with it. I clenched my jaw tightly as the pain resonated in my skull, turning blind for a few seconds. I didn’t dare to move my body anymore, not even when he slid his fingers on every single mark, breathing heavily. Then, suddenly, a fist collided on my cheek; and the power of the punch was enough to make me collapse on the floor. 

Cheng lifted me by my hair, hurriedly removing my trousers and my underwear, maybe worried that other marks were covering my skin on the lower part of my body - which they were, unfortunately-. He then grabbed some body wash and started to lather every inch of my skin harshly, making me moan from the pain in some spots.

“Please stop, I can explain-” I gasped when he tried to wash my intimate parts. “Cheng!” I shouted, shaking, grabbing the side of his face and trying to make him look in the eyes while hoping that the alcohol will just go away… but the only thing that I saw coming was another punch. 

I fell on him that time, but he pushed me back like he didn't want my body to touch him if he wasn't the one to initiate the contact, keeping on doing what he needed and wanted to do. I silently released the tears that I was trying to keep for myself so badly, but the cold water encouraged me to explode, making me feel worse than before. My body shook heavily, and Cheng's hands slowly stopped on my chest, then moved toward the base of my neck, cupping it gently.

“Chin Mae,” Cheng whispered close to my lips, softening the last part of my name. Seeing me turning my head to one side, he took the chance to finally adjusts the water temperature, just like nothing happened. Washing my body again but gently this time, my friend guided me outside the shower, drying me up and caressing my head carefully with a towel. 

Cheng then applied some ointment on my marks, visibly trying to contain his anger, and when it came to the one around my neck, he stopped. His lips shook for a second, and tears rolled down his cheeks.

“I am sorry... I don't want to see you like this-" I said quickly, feeling disappointed by myself. I shouldn't have let it happen; I should've fought back with all I could. I can't stand being the cause of his suffering.

Cheng removed his tears with the back of his hands. "That's not..." his voice died as he spoke. "Why didn't you say anything? I could have protected you. I can protect you."

"I am sorry... I wanted to sort it out myself without letting you know what happened. I felt dirty, so I thought that if I told you I would feel worse. And I feared that you would have pushed me away because you might be disgusted." I sighed deeply, feeling my throat tightening again, feeling bad and confused by the contrasting emotions that he made me feel when I was near him. 

"How did that happen?" he forced himself to ask as he dried my shoulders delicately. "If you want to talk about it..."  

 I bit my lip, not knowing where to start and ashamed at the same time. "I thought I could bear it and moving on, but then you found out... I am sorry that I am this disgusting... b-but I am searching for another job, so this won't be a problem anymore-"

“I am sorry…” he whispered, closing his now red eyes, hugging me tightly and kissing the line around my neck and the parts where before he punched me. 

"You are not disgusting; stop saying that. The person who did this to you is disgusting." he tried to reassure me. Still, I could only nod in response while breathing as silently as possible "You should have told me anyway... Can you tell me who this person is?" Cheng me cautiously, brushing his hands on my back to calm me down as my body has turned stone cold.

"I-I think it's better not getting into it... please-" I stuttered, feeling his breath becoming heavier. I pushed him back, covering my body with a bath towel and starting to dry him as well, removing his wet clothes that slammed on the floor. Cheng kept looking at me, even when I took him inside the bedroom and laid some clothes next to him that he silently wear after a few minutes.

“Stay here tonight.” He demanded, standing up while I finished dressing up. “Call your workplace and tell them that you quit your job. I will look after you so that something like that won't happen again," he explained, concerned, leaning on me when I hit the wardrobe with my back. 

"If this is the first time that happened.” he assumed, looking sharply into my eyes, making me shiver and nod heavily. If he only knew...

“I can't say, not until I find another job. How am I going to pay for the hostel and other things?” I asked, trying to push him back even though he didn’t move at all.

"I will be careful, I promise." I insisted when Cheng, as a reply, laid his forearm on the wardrobe while getting closer to my face once again.

“You will work for me.” He whispered on my cheek, kissing it gently. I hissed from the pain; now feeling is heavy and swollen. “You will be my butler. How does that sound?” my friend asked brightly, making me laugh. He was really drunk.

“Please, move away, Cheng.” annoyed by his bad sense of humour, I walked towards the living room without looking back or bothering to check if he was following me or not.

 I needed to go, now.

“Quit your job and stay here with me," Cheng nearly demanded when entering the same room as I was at a calculated pace, looking on the floor and at the distance that divides us. 

"Or between us is over,” he stated, suddenly looking at me in the eyes, dead serious. Without leaving me the time to complain or even shout at him as I would like to, he turned his back at me and disappeared into his bedroom, leaving me standing there like an idiot, fuming from ear to ear. 

How dare he-

“Fuck!” I whispered angrily, grabbing my smartphone and dialling my workplace boss’s number quickly. My shift was about to start in less than thirty minutes, but I couldn't; he didn't give me any other choice. I just-

“Hi, it's Chin Mae. I'm giving you my resignation, effective today.” I mumbled, trying to contain my anger as he called me a slut and other names, feeling my blood boiling in my veins while breathing in courage and confidence as his insults pierced heavily in me. Yeah, he was the one that did all those things to me, but I didn’t say this to Cheng, or he will burn down that place with him in it.

“Yeah, good luck in finding another member of staff who likes being raped at the end of their shift, so bye-bye, asshole. Consider yourself lucky that I won't go to the police and shut that damn place down.” I hissed, trying to contain my voice but shaking from anger, and I hunged up before he could talk back and mortifying me even more. Feeling the adrenaline rushing in and out of my body, I started to clean up the dishes compulsively, hoping to release all the stress accumulated that I had built up. 

“Hey…” I heard Cheng's soft voice coming from behind; his hand stretched forward to turn off the tap while the other placed the plate in my hand way too carefully back in the sink. 

“You are staring at the water for quite some time now. Let’s go to bed.” He asserted, drying my hands and lading me into the bedroom without asking about my phone call that I bet he heard. I knew that because his face and body were tensed and the veins on his arms and neck were now visible. I bet he was restraining himself from going out and do something to that man, and I bet he was angry at me because I didn't tell him that I knew who the person was.

I laid down on the bed still and quietly on my side, far away from him, but Cheng pulled me gently over him, making me lay my head on his chest. Gently caressing my hair, I resisted the urge to move away as I was still angry at him for putting our relationship at stake over a damn job, even though I understood the reason.

"Can you talk to me honestly now, please?" Cheng asked me softly, kissing my forehead. "I won't get angry, nor I will be disgusted," he assured me, making me feel uncomfortable for how many times he was kissing me today. 

Was he that expansive with other people as well? Why was he kissing, hugging and cuddling me that much? Was that not considered a couple of things?

I gulped down heavily, trying to hold the tears that wanted to overflow again. The anger that I had a few seconds ago seemed to have disappeared at the sound of his voice, so I gained some courage and will to keep going. 

"Some customers were drunk and surrounded me a few nights ago at the back of the pub. They started to hit me and to try to..." I cleared my voice, taking a quick breath in-

"And even if I was fighting back, I was outnumbered. My boss came out after a while," I explained, stabilising my voice as it kept coming out hoarse.

"He threatened to call the police, and they went away, then he brought me inside the pub, in his office, to take care of my wounds." I sighed, feeling the pressure build-up in my body.

"When I was about to go, he confessed that he liked me. He told me that he will make sure to protect me from now on if I would be his," I slowly revived the moment, feeling disgusted by the scenes coming right up in front of my eyes. "I took my time to reply, and he took it as consent, but I was only surprised by his words, nothing else."

"He took advantage of me even if I was against it, even if I kept telling him to stop. He thought I liked being a sub and assumed that my complaints were a way to keep going. I didn't know what else to do to break free; I was hurt, tired and-"

"It's normal that you couldn't," Cheng interrupted me, his voice cold like ice. "I am sorry that you had to experience this..." he added carefully, leaning his cheek on my forehead, hugging me closer at his body.

I laughed weakly, a bit embarrassed by our closeness while repeating that I shouldn't think about taking this a step further. "I don't understand why people think that I am a sub and that they need to protect me. Is it my look or the way I talk?" I claimed without expecting an actual answer.

"I don't know... But I can understand your boss feelings and intention; I have-" Cheng suddenly stopped himself, moving his body in discomfort. "I mean, that was not an excuse to do what he did." his gentle touch and the warmth that his body had on mine was making my whole core melt. 

"I am going to be strong," I said, turning my smile into a quiet cry, covering my face with a hand. I had to be; I was tired of being in those kinds of situations. 

Cheng tightened his grip on me. "Do what you need to do but let me stay by your side. Even the strongest people have their downs and fall; they need someone to be there for them when that happens. I want to be that person," he whispered, moving his lips away from my forehead, breathing in deeply but with composure. 

"Deal?" he urged firmly, removing what I felt was a heavy knot off his chest. 

I raised my head a bit, just enough to make our eyes linked together, and I nodded slightly. A smirk raised from his lips, and he closed his eyes; I didn't notice how tense he was until he finally relaxed. 

Maybe I was only oversensitive, but I couldn't stop my tears from falling down my face, not even when he caressed my cheek and switched his hand with mine that I placed before over my eyes just to allow myself a bit of dignity as I hated crying in front of others.

“You have me now,” Cheng kissed my forehead once again while grabbing my hand and placing it back onto his chest, intertwining his fingers with mine. 

He was really drunk.

“It’s okay. I got you, Chin Mae. You don't have to worry anymore,” He mumbled, sighing before falling asleep and me soon after.

It was going to be okay.