I still can't believe it hasn't been long enough. To think years have passed and I'm walking down the same halls that I marked all alone. To think that everything has faded in some areas, but there is still no one else. All I have is an endless hallway, there is a single light so far in front of me that makes me think of the outdoors. Others have said don't walk towards the light when the person is dying, but this light that's so far off is all I have left. Behind me is darkness, and small, dying light bulbs. I can't help but think this building I wander has been abandon, but there is never a way out. I'm trapped with in my own conscious, and I guess that's what I deserve when I feel like I'm going in circles. I think it's pitiful, that I go nowhere. I've written on walls, reminiscing struggles. I notice the first thing I wrote on these walls was when I was a child wishing it would end. Other things just made everything sink deeper and deeper. There is no end to the comments. Some hate on parents that weren't ever there. They don't even exist in my mind. Some hate on siblings that had left so long ago, and most hate on the monsters that fill my brain. I wish I could say this madness was a war that I could win, but it feels impossible. I have to many scars from these attempted battles, but these scars are invisible especially when no one sees me.
I'm afraid to sleep, there are no monsters hiding in the dark, they all reside inside my head tearing me to shreds. There my internal demons, and there is no way for me to heal their suffering. Occasionally they'll leave, and I'm okay. But that can only last so long before they creep back in waiting to strike. I think these demons in my mind are worse than a killer, though the killer has their demons too. Maybe they might be the same. Suffering from the same consequence as me, just cause they survived. Maybe they didn't even have a chance to escape from all the demons in the world. Too bad that light just might be fake, an illusion to make me think it's all good. I refuse to break down these walls, they protect me from the demons outside. Maybe they wrote on these walls to, messed up my head, and took residence over my soul. It's been so long, I don't even remember the last time I saw a face. I don't even remember mine. Maybe this is all in my head, but when tomorrow comes I hope this is the same, so I know I haven't lost everything to the monsters.
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